Saturday, November 24, 2007

HEADLINES!!!


1. Indian man marries dog to beat 'curse'
Dude, you married a bitch! How is that beating a curse?


2. A Series of Unfortunate Events...

Yep, I finally wrote a book about my life.


3. Wife Says No Beer, Hubby Replies by Shooting Pet Goats

Damn, hate to see what would happen if she said, "No sex." Oh wait, beer is more important, I guess.


4. Cops: Man Tried to Have Sex With a Fence

What? Was he so drunk, that when his friends told him to jump the fence, he thought they said to hump the fence?


5. 101-year-old Briton poses topless for calendar

She's a late bloomer.


6. Sarkozy pledges 'no retreat'...

Ok, someone check to make sure this guy is really French, because I'm not believing it.


7. Firemen told to abstain from sexual bribes

I'm sure there is a whole joke about hoses and stuff, but I am trying to be good.


8. Man seeks to unravel curse with pants and egg

What? Another man is trying to break a curse by doing something totally insane? Oh, I get it. An egg in the pants is worth two in the. . .wrong figure of speech, sorry.


9. Scent Gives Malaysian DVD Pirates Away

Pirates at sea? Scent? Pirates? No bathing? Yeah, not a hard one there, eh?


10. Teacher uses nail gun to kill raccoon for skinning lesson

Damn. Bet nobody sasses back at that teacher EVER!

2 comments:

IHeartQuilting said...

Ha, these are all good ones today, RT! Where do you find this stuff?

Sezme said...

Mrs. G:
I find them all over the place and save them until I have between 5-10. See what you can do when you have no life? ;P