Are you a drunkard?

I'm in one of "those" moods today. I've been having some crazy dreams, witnessing the antics of crazy relatives, and feeling just plain bleh.

Feeling this way makes me want to just sit and drink. I used to drink a lot...a lot. Now? Not so much. I think I had a beer last week or maybe the week before; I can't remember. I was going to have one last night, but I was just too grrrr to even get my arse up and go to the refrigerator to get one. (Don't worry folks, I'm not despondent...just a little frustrated.)

So, today, during my aimless wanderings on the internet, to snap myself out of my general state of grrrr, I happened upon a humorous site devoted to the art of drunkenness: Modern Drunkard Magazine. I haven't finished looking through the site, but there are articles, cartoons, drinks, poems, and other stuff. You can go look at it for yourself. I think some of you might find the humor in it. I found a list that gave me a chuckle. Here are a few of the entries. You can add to the list HERE.

You know you are a drunkard when. . .

• You feel incredibly sexy despite the vomit stain down the front of your shirt.
• After eight drinks your “hugs” bear an uncanny resemblance to UFC take-downs.
• You failed CPR class because your breath set the dummy on fire.
• You called the cops on yourself but refused to testify because you “didn’t want to get involved."
  
• You use spearmint schnapps for mouthwash because it eliminates that whole spitting hassle.
• You’re seriously considering learning how to play the bagpipes because, hey—nobody gets more free drinks than bagpipers.
• You’ve worn a kilt to ladies night in hopes of beating the system on a technicality.
• When the guy at the door yelled, “Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,” you assumed it was someone bringing more supplies.
• You inform the arresting officer that gravity is the only law you feel compelled to obey.
• Crying in your beer increases its alcohol content.