Thursday, November 30, 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

FANTASY-LAND

Nancy Pelosi believes that "there's no Al-Qaeda in Iraq" (Drudge). I thought I'd pick her brain and see what other fantasies she has:

  • The tooth fairy is real.
  • Santa will be leaving me a million dollars and a handsome man under my tree.
  • Bill Clinton didn't have sexual relations with "that woman."
  • John Kerry is a war hero comparable to Rambo.
  • The muppets are real.
  • Men want to cuddle instead of having a sandwich.

Next thing you know we'll be hearing that Iran is our friend and that we should embrace diplomacy with them....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUPREME AND MOST HIGH OF ALL MONGERS!!!!!

Ok, before the kool-aid kicks in, go wish FIAR a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

He's looking for some psychic ability from us regarding his future. I don't have the heart to tell him that he's hearing voices again, but he thinks people are asking him questions.

Here's a special birthday song for you, FIAR!

I have to get psychic and tell FIAR his future, now.

Things that manage to last longer than Mr. and Mrs. Kidd Rock's marriage:

10. Pam's implants

9. The length of time it takes to say, "bawitdaba-da-bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the
Boogie-said-up-jump-the-boogie"

8. The combined time of all four of their weddings

7. Flyers winning streak

6. The freshness of chewing gum once it has been chewed

5. Tommy Lee (sorry, had to say it)

4. My inane lists

3. K-Fed's career as a rapper

2. The time it took me to come up with this stupid list

1. The cool minty flavor of a tic-tac

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Go visit Deathlok...NOW!

Deathlok is up and running again! Go visit and say hello. He has a fun birthdate thingy you can do (see mine below):

I ask you, is this a description of a Chief Mongress or what?

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.

You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.

Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.

You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January

Global Funny!

There is a gentleman named Morris that comments on Insol's blog every now and then. I checked out his site and found this humorous joke. :)

Btw...got my laptop back today and I'm so happy I could spit!

What you talkin' 'bout Willis?

Today I came across a list of popular catchphrases found on television and in commercials.

"Aaaaay..." Fonzie

'I'm Rick James, bitch!" Chapelle

"Jane, you ignorant slut." SNL

"Where's the beef!?!?" Wendy's commercial

"Waaa, waaa, waaa..." Chachi (sp?) Happy Days

"Boss! The plane! The plane!" Fantasy Island

"I'm gonna cuff 'em and stuff 'em!" Dukes of Hazard

Well...these are some of my favorites. Share your favorites.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Seaching for ????? in all the wrong places!

Ok...after an emotional few days, from which I am trying recover, I have figured that I really have nothing to say. So...I've been keeping track of some odd searches (as I know you all do) that lead to my blog. Here are five of them:

1. "you should never shove a banger up your arse at halloween video"

2. "Love" (Huh? Am I capable?)

3. "free lewis fraks after the war" (What the frak?)

4. "scientific term for poo" (Ummm...wouldn't it be poo?)

So y'all, I'm going to bed early. I had a long day of teenagers deciding that they didn't need to listen to me while I taught the finer points of how Shakespeare chopped up the English language to suit his rhythmic and poetic purposes. I'm beat.

Nightie, night.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Mel Brooks: Humor is just another defense against the universe.

There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

Turn that frown upside down...


First, I want to thank you all for reading my meltdown. There are more important things in the world and people experiencing way more hardship than I do.

The past few years have been quite frustrating. My health, my mom losing her job, one grandparent dying, then another willing herself to die, and a father who is like a child...well...it all gets to be a bit much. To compound it all, I've put a lot of things I've wanted "on hold."

So...I'm gonna make a short list of things that are selfish on my part, but I hope ease my frustration.

1. Lose the weight and stop talking about it.
2. Make time to get fresh air.
3. Leave school at school.
4. Stop whining. :)
5. Find a partner in crime with whom I can have much fun...(Kept that one clean, didn't I?)

A positive attitude has to begin somewhere. I can't let other people dictate my happiness. Hell, they've dictated how miserable I have become.

Thank you, all, for your patience with my rant and my "thinking aloud" to figure out a solution.

If none of this works, I can always tell them all to get bent, get a job, get some balls, and I'm leaving.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Enter Buzz Kill


See...I knew it was too good to be true. I didn't have any drama and became all full of Christmas chill. Then my dad calls. To be fair, he is slow...not a joke, he is slow. He lost oxygen when he was born and he never matured past 18. Now...as he gets older...he is more like a little kid and I'm his mommy, at least it feels that way. He is pseudo caring for my bed-ridden grandmom. I noticed some changes in her ability to talk the other day and he became angry, "I'm not a doctor.. blah, blah, blah..." I told him to tell the visiting doctors. Anyway...the nurse they have is not the best and she has been calling out (a replacement comes). My dad complains that it's like picking up after a little kid (trust me, he doesn't even come close to knowing what that means...he sent his $15 a week and complained). Whatever...my point...he can't care for her, he becomes overwhelmed. My grandmother and father have banished the rest of the family (my banishment for speaking up about my grandmother's care lasted a month...just when I was ready to experience some freedom they sucked me back in). Ok...you're getting the point: My dad is ineffective and afraid of his mother. He's afraid she'll kick him out of the house if he asserts himself with regard to her care. So I told him that he might have to make decisions grandmom doesn't like. Then he totally turned things on me and said, "Well, what is your mother doing? You're supporting her and blah effin blah!" P.S. My grandmother practically supports my dad...oh what a fraked up family. I've actually had a girl I confide in at work ask how I am so normal (I sleep and avoid lengthy conversations with my mom and dad.).

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. My grandmom needs to be getting better care. My dad needs to not have situations he cannot deal with because of his cognitive problems thrust upon him.

I need to have other things to think about. I offered my experience and knowledge after observing what my mom and aunts went through with my other grandmother. I was told that I didn't know anything. That's what my dad's mom thinks of me. I'm the almost bastard child and will always be as such. (Lucky my parents got married two months before I was born, eh?) Great ....now I'm thinking about my lovely childhood. I'm gonna stop now. But I am just so tired of everyone's crap. I want my mom to get a friggin' job, so I can have my own life. I want my dad to grow some balls and use them. I want my grandmom to stop controlling my dad's mind. (Gwd...I just tried to use my space bar like the mouse pad on my laptop=-=I want that back, too damnit!) I want my grandmom to realize she belongs in a long-term care facility. I'd check them out, first. I wouldn't let her go into a nasty place. She keeps telling me she wants to die, but God is taking an awfully long time to do it. Thursday, she wasn't able to say more than a few words to me. I'm sorry everyone. I need to vent and I really have no one to vent to, except my mom, but she's the ex-wife/ex-daughter-in-law told nasty things to when she tried to help make sure they were fed over the past winter when my grandmom came home from the hospital.

Anyone got a cabin somewhere that I can runaway to? When do I get my own life. Damn. Again, I'm sorry. I'll go back to the inane RT. :) Seriously...I could use a place to hide for like ever.

Holiday Cheer!

For some reason I am full of Christmas cheer already. Hopefully that is a good sign, as I am usually really stressed out this time of the year...well, until February. With that said, I have planned Christmas surprises for my blog list. Beginning December 5th or 6th(until Christmas Eve), you will see what I would give you for Christmas if I actually knew y'all. In addition, you can expect some linky-dinkness.

Until then, enjoy yet another sampling of YouTube. I think you will all like this song.

Friday, November 24, 2006

My name is Kyle and I have a poo problem...


South Park has a personality quiz over at Comedy Central's website. Apparently, I'm Kyle. Great. Actually, after looking at the Wikipedia site, I'm more like him than I thought. Scary.

Go ahead and see which loser, I mean character, you are. You know you want to, really. It won't hurt. I promise.

*P.S. I know that is Cartman.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Family Fun-Fest!

Cousin H (37 years old): Why did you guys quit the guild? I go through all that trouble and you guys quit the guild!

Cousin H's nephews (ages 13 and 15):
Huh?

Cousin H: And thanks for the spam!

Nephews: I fixed that.

Me: What are you yelling at them for?

Cousin H: Because they don't listen.

Me: They're teenagers....duh. What are you guys talking about anyway?

Cousin H: World of Warcraft. (Keep in mind when I got there he was playing video games, then when the boys arrived...all they talked about was W/W, and then after dinner, they played W/W and talked about W/w.)

Me: Oh gawd! Did you guys see South P0rk? Do you see the irony? (Oops, he doesn't know what irony is.)

Cousin H: Well, I'm on like level 60 and they're level 15, and I take them in with me and they run off on their own to battle elite players and they screw up and start yelling, "save me."

Me: (In my head...) Ok, at least I blog with real people. At least I think they are real. Wait...I'm a mongress, damn. Cousin H, I think he might still be a virgin.

****
He did tell me that he has all kinds of women interested in him, but I told him if you have to pay for it, it doesn't count.

I hung out with my other cousin and HIS husband the rest of the night. They are much saner.
****

Other fun stuff:
My aunt's grown children giving her wet willies all evening, my cousins (same grown adults) throwing olives at each other, my cousin H totally walking into a there's-nothing-between-his-legs-but-an-olive joke because of the food bouncing off his stomach onto the floor, landing between his legs.

Here's the truly priceless one...My cousin's husband made everyone get quiet as if something important was about to be said. All he wanted was to see a Geico commercial he hadn't seen before (you know the ones with the angry caveman). Yep..that was worth the demand of silence.

Overall...I really enjoyed myself. Hey...I wasn't the brunt of the jokes!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

As per Dragon Lady, a cd review

A few posts down from this I provided a clip of Shinedown. I've been listening to their newest cd, Us and Them. It is pretty good. I've been listening to it for about a month. The more I listen to it, the more it grows on me.

I especially like the lead singer, Brent Smith's, voice. He has really good range and control. I think he has some tonal qualities comparable to the singer from the Guess Who.

So...here is the song I've been repeating a lot in my car. I sing it up and down 2-95. So far, I have not been pulled over by the troopers for noise pollution. ;P

**This isn't the band's video, this someone putting anime to song. I'm liking the anime. Anime guys are hot! Well...in a fantasy kind of way. If you visit a sites that provide music or such they have sample clips of the songs.

Go-Daddy-Go!!!!

I'm sure you all heard this story, but it is worth reading. Bush, Sr. kicked some ungrateful ass!

See what happens when people don't understand what thankfulness means. Ingrates!

I LOVE AMERICAN MEN!!!!!!

I saw this joke, but I didn't want to post it on the blog because I thought it would undercut the sincerity of my Thanksgiving post (well except for the murdered turkey©).

Giving Thanks

I'm thankful that I have a mom that stood by me when most parents would have said, "hit the bricks, loser!"

I'm thankful that I have a better friendship/relationship with my dad...something I never thought would be the case.

I'm thankful that I have been able to go from high school dropout to a college graduate (with highest honors)...with some grad classes completed, too.

I'm thankful that I did not have to endure what my friends and acquaintances from my past have had to endure: rehab, aids, jail, and all-around misery.

I'm thankful that God saw fit to bless me with so many instances of protection from harm--physical and legal, and that He saw fit to allow change when so many others suffer in pitiful circumstances.

I'm thankful that while my life is far from perfect or what I would like it to be, that I have a roof over my head, I'm not starving, I have a decent car and that I have an enjoyable, good job (most days).

I'm thankful for my blog buddies. You all have had kind words for my hurts and laughter for my bad jokes.

Finally, I'm sooooooooo very thankful for BACON®!!!!! (Sorry, had to slip that into the post.)

Just in case I don't run into y'all sometime tomorrow, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

THE BENEFITS OF BACON®

The Benefits of Bacon®

The benefits of bacon are numerous. For men, ingesting protein-rich bacon® provides virility and the ability to think clearly. Therefore, for the benefit of your mongress and the benefit of your fellow warriors, (who depend on you to bring all you have to battle) eat your bacon®...daily.

Women, you must eat your bacon®, too. It will provide you with the fat needed for warmth while the monger in your life is at battle and you are alone. It also provides the means by which you can be identified as a supporting member of the Monger Horde, since the women lack the bacon® tattoo the mongers display.

Overall, all mongers and mongresses must be mindful to eat their daily servings of bacon®. Why? Do you want to be like the plant eating, vulgar vegans and their supporters...the likes of Cindy Sheehan, Ted Kennedy, and John Kerry? Do you want to end up like them? First they want the troops out of Iraq and then to spite the home of the Horde, they might reinstate the draft? Obviously, not eating bacon causes the brain to confuse and contradict beliefs. One might even argue that the lack of bacon causes one to state one belief, never really hold that belief, and then claim another belief. Other signs of bacon® deprivation: Naming a dog Splash after an accident causes the drowning of a companion, marrying a ketchup heir, and having media-affairs with the leaders of Socialist and rogue states.

For your consumption, a short list of mongerlicious© ideas on how to eat/serve bacon:
BLT
Bacon, cheese, and chicken sandwich
Bacon wrapped shrimp
Bacon wrapped filet mignon
Bacon, eggs, and home fries
Bacon infused chowder soups

Thank goodness the battle cry of the Monger Horde is not beans.

Post Pourri

Ok...odds and ends or any other title you want to give it. I'm fried to a crisp, today.

Note to self: When you turn a bazillion years old, don't wear that stupid cell phone ear piece, drive in lanes that don't exist while on said cell phone, and then drive 50 mph in a 65 mph zone and then try to merge left. I need the duct tape!

Note to self: Quit supervising Saturday detentions. A parent emailed my principal to say that my colleague and I "manhandled" her 6'2 son. The only interaction I had with the kid was, "**** please remove your feet from the table.....****, remove your leg from the table, please." Unreal!

Did you know that teenagers can't tell time by using a normal clock? Did you know the official time is "cell phone" time? Ugh.

Well, I ate some chocolate today. Inside the special milk chocolates with caramel in the center are inspirational sayings...
"Challenge yourself and seek inward peace"
Getting out of bed is a challenge and the day I have inward peace, I'll be dead.

"Get lost walking in a corn maze"
WTF???

"Sit quietly and listen to the sounds of Autumn"
Hmm...autumn means change, decay, and death...and lots of crunchy sounds.

I'll be back to normal tomorrow, I hope. I tried to do to much work and now I'm fried.

Have an awesome evening. I'm gonna go manhandle some hippies and make them hurt.

Monday, November 20, 2006

DAMN SITEMETER!

The technological world is out to get me. I never had problems with sitemeter before, but today, because I'm warped and tired, it fraks with me and I have to re-do my account and I'm back to zero.

Isn't that how life is....always back to zero? Ugh!

All about the nothing!

I have nothing, today. I boxed up my laptop and I am relegated to desktop world for the next two weeks. Sucks-arse. It is a great computer, but I'd rather be lounging while I blog.

I got to listen to kids debate the finer parts of penises today. That's always interesting.

Anyone got any ideas? I can't muster the energy to be pissed about anything. I'm done complaining about men...really, what's the point?

I'm sure I'll have great Thanksgiving stories. My family tends to laugh a lot...at each other. We especially like to throw biscuits and water bottles at my one cousin. I just can't wait for the pumpkin pie. Mmmmm.

I stayed at school until 6pm if anyone is interested. I'm trying to get entire unit planned at once so that I can have the next few weekends to myself. Now...if I could only find something to do on those weekends.

Geeez, this was lame.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I will have all the bacon!

The power of the Monger Horde is evident to the universe!

I am the only Chief Mongress. ©

Unoriginality

Headlines and titles time again...I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Warning: These are somewhat lame.

Bloodthirsty B*tches and Pious Pimps of Power
Perhaps the Monger Horde has been misnamed?

Poison plot targeted Supremes
The '80s hairband sought claims on the Aqua Net market. Diana Ross would not relent.

Eurpoean cities do away with traffic signs
Apparently telling people how to drive and where to go impeded the rights of others.

Mysterious dark energy has existed for most of history, scientists say
FIAR's existence explained

The sinner God accepts
Ummm, all of us...

Kerry: "Botched war joke won't hurt me"
No, it only hurt those you intended to hurt a-hole!

Intro to Congress: Speakers, leaders, and whips
Oh, my! (Or...could this be another sex scandal in D.C.?)

Gender-bending boy fruit flies fight like girls
California fruit flies...need I say more?

Calif. couple calls for orgasm for peace
Hmmm...not all peace protests are bad, eh? Well...what are you reading this for? Go get some!

The body odd: Why do backrubs feel so good?
1.) Body odd? Pleasure odd?
2.) Because they feel so good, because someone else is doing it....do we need to know why?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The Genius of Southern Simplicity

Sometimes you just hear a song that is so simple, yet so profound.

I've been listening to the band Shinedown lately and have gone gaa gaa over their music. While I couldn't find a video for my favorite song, I found a video of their cover of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." The singer of Shinedown does an absolutley outstanding job singing this beautiful song. The whole thing just sends tingles down my spine.

Don't forget to click on the full screen image of the video. It is so worth it. This guy's voice is awesome!

Maybe now you'll understand...

what I mean when I say I am a complete English major dorkwad geek! William Faulkner, as did many authors at some point, wrote for the Hollywood machine. It seems a few or more years ago his daughter came across a manuscript for a vampire movie. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! A VAMPIRE MOVIE!!!! Sorry...the genre just gives me the shivers.

Faulkner is an amazing writer, but his movies were always hacked. Hopefully, this movie will do him justice. I really hope it is good.

Dragon Lady, This is for you. Hope you laugh!

Dennis Leary is one of my favorite comics. Whenever I see/hear his name, I start to hum the chorus of this song.

The Good Stuff...

Hmm...I need to share some good stuff today.

I went shopping yesterday and I just about fit comfortably in pants about three sizes smaller than what I wore this time last year. I still have a verrrrryyyyyy long way to go, but I'm off to a very positive start. Recently, I have had two medication changes that have helped greatly.

While at the grocery store today, despite an idiot running up the back of my leg with a cart with a stupid kiddie car attached, I was able to walk pain-free, with a great stride, not Herman Munster-like, and with some of my girlish sway back in the hips.

I've recently noticed that I am gaining more feeling in my right calf and have almost no more neuropathy in my feet.

And a funny...can't believe I'm sharing this one...We had a fire drill yesterday. I walked so hard and so fast that my butt cramped. HA!

Have a great day, everyone!

Friday, November 17, 2006

When in doubt...

I came home, and while visiting blogs and checking my own, I fell asleep. I woke up feeling as though I'd been slapped with the stupid stick. Some mongerish feeling took over and I did my Mongress duty; however, I wanted to compose an entry for today. I've got nothing. I do however has access to YouTube. I know, "RT, you never use YouTube." SHUT UP! Anway, I have lots of time on my commute to daydream (not in a reckless way) and think. This week, beyond daydreaming about the perfect kiss (I am a girlie), I thought about how we should never have regrets and realize how good each "now" can be. So...Iron Maiden fits perfectly. ;P

*Remember, you can see a full image of the video if you click on the full-page view button all the way to the right.

Monger Horde War Room

Decree from the Chief Mongress

My minions:

I applaud you in your desire to break free of the limp wristed leadership that has caused you much anger.

In visiting your new war room you will find that your new leaders are capable of leading you into the fight of your mortal lives. They will lead you into battle against the ideologies of the weak. They will model true mongerism by steamrolling through bastions of liberalism and mindnumbing, soulless group-think.

Defeat is not a word in the Monger Horde vocabulary; henceforth, it shall be banned in all forms of speech, public and private.

The Horde and its followers shall rise up to defend all that is right, ideologically and/or morally. BACONshall be your battle cry!

Through our victorious exploits you will never know hunger, loneliness, poverty, or wretchedness.

Power be to the Horde!

Now go kick some ass!

(That other "happy to be alive" person will be back when I let her regain control of her brain.)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Feeding the Beast

In my role as Chief Mongress, I have to extol the might (yadda, yadda, yadda) of the head Mongers, FIAR and FMragtops. I do this under duress, as I am trying to force my will upon the male mongers as the dominant Mongress.

FRIGGIN' DELL

I officially have two stripes creeping down my laptop screen. The evil forces are against me. It is really making my already bad headache worse. I have to send my laptop to Dell to be repaired. At least I have a year and half left on my three year warranty. I haven't had this sucker for two years and I've had to replace the ac adapter, the hard drive, and now who the hell knows what else. I have another computer, so that's cool. I can still do what I need to do. The laptop is convenient so that I can get in a reclined position after my legs have suffered all day. Suffered is a bit of an overstatement, but I lack proper terms tonight.

Anyway...I'm feeling less than creative today. I thought I'd share a hockey haiku from Poch and Davidson (gotta site them).

We ate ice! That's what
we did before squirt bottles!
Sweat-drenched skate-shaved ice!

Mmmm...wonder if it had that sweet-salty taste of Gatorade?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I'm soooooo not stressed!!!! Yippee!!!

Grades were due today....so I have a day to breathe and not be stressed about grading. Ahhhhh.

Here are some things I noticed in school over the past couple of days..OH AND HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!!! He honestly looks like he is in his early 50s. I've got good aging genes.

Stuff I noticed at school:
Boys like to wear tiaras...especially the "blow out" boys. Those are boys who blow their hair dry and just go with how it turns out...poofy.

Kind of, but not really related...apparently teenage girls have no problem hanging all over each other and playing kissy-face...FOR REAL...not just messing around...ewwwww!

I was reading a journalism student's reaction to a NY Times editorial. It was about how pulling out of Iraq too soon could spell disaster and the article gave pretty good reasons why. My student stated that she was against the war and supported bringing the troops home asap. However, after reading the editorial, she stated that she has changed her mind. She was persuaded by a very well-written and convincing article (paraphrasing her words). THERE IS HOPE!!!!

Our school has a "group" of other like-minded kids for almost all the kids. We are family-like school. So it always warms my heart when I hear the strains of "Happy Birthday" coming from our common lunch area. So yesterday I heard it, but then I saw a huge ballon (mylar) bouquet, a cake, and a bunch of girls taking care of their friend on her 18th birthday. Sweet.

Funny: Kids texting each other no more than 10 feet away from each other and walking towards each other, giggling at the same time realizing what they are doing is so wackadoodles.

Annoying: Kids trying to negotiate their grades with their teachers at the end of a marking period. "So you're fine with me giving you an 'A' you didn't earn?" "Yes," replies the student in all honesty. Craziness. Stoooopid kids....we aren't changing their grades for their self-confidence and for them to have peace with their parents.

I have a reading class that takes tests throughout the first three markings periods so they can graduate from high school. Once per month I give them a break (trust me, they earn it) and I show a movie for a couple of days. Last month...Lord of the Rings (Fellowship), this week...LotR (Towers), next month...the final one (I've never watched them before...they are great!) Anyway...yesterday one kid asked if we could watch Boondock Saints. I just laughed an evil laugh because the first friggin' thing that came to my mind was Willem Dafoe planting a really hot kiss (unfortunately) on a mob guy....while dressed in drag (too funny)! Needless to say, I said "No. I've seen that movie and we're not watching it." The student then said, "But we're all seniors...we're old enough." SHUT UP LITTLE BOY!!!

FUNNY: A journalism student hands me an OP/ED about how people have forgotten the true meaning of Thanksgiving and what we could do for others based on gratitude for our blessings. Heartfelt. The funny part? Quote: "...pilgrims even invited the foreign Native Americans." I had to inform the poor lad that my ancestors were the foreigners.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Ticking, Ticking...

Let's see, in the past week we have seen politics gone kaplewy (that is a technical term), the Chinese stalking our ships (and we didn't have a clue), people wanting to kill other people they perceive to not deserve a chance at life, and Iran and its pals just wanting us all dead and training sub-human scum inside of Iran to do so.

So all of this makes me wonder...to which numbers are the little hand and the big hand on the Doomsday clock pointing?

I'm going to go curl up into a fetal position, say my prayers, and hope for the best.

Monday, November 13, 2006

THIS BELONGS IN THE "WTF" FILE.

Did you ever think you'd hear of organized religion stating that killing children is ok if they are severely disabled? Ugh...any life is precious.

My school, until two years ago, had a school within it that taught all types of skills to children and young adults with autism, Down Syndrome, and other mental challenges. I looked forward to seeing these children each day. Not only was it an inspiration to see them work hard to be able to live in group homes and to develop the skills to have a job, but it was also heartwarming to see them in my chess club, at the prom, at their own dances with students and alumni, and it was so cute to see the budding little romances. I learned so much from them from just observing them. A few of them were even medal winners in the Special Olympics.

One young man, "Brian," always said hello to me. There was another young man with the same birthday as me and my study hall threw him a birthday party. (He used to play golf through our study hall.)

How can a bunch of people who profess to know the Bible say these things and just encourage murderous behavior? I recall Jonathan from the Bible. He had a son with a physical disability. I believe David took that son in and looked after him (hope I'm not getting my Bible stories confused). I think the Bible is pretty clear by example, eh?

I can't imagine all the hard and heartbreaking work entailed in caring for a disabled child, but what about the blessings?

Just Because...

I had a very unrestful night and a very stressful day. So...I'm lacking in much orginality and inspiration. I'm taking the easy way out, I'm gonna do headlines and column titles. I hope you all are having a nice evening.

1. Gas eruptions likely formed "new" moon features
Talk about a pain in the ass.

2. Moon's surface shows signs of a gas burp
Must be all the beer the man in the moon is drinking.

3. Chinese doctor nominated to the WHO
Pete Townsend and Roger Daultrey are claiming that it is a Communist plot to take over aging rock bands.

4. Republicans look to Reagan era for inspiration
Ummmm....shouldn't this have been the inspiration going into the elections and how the government is run????

5. Pelosi backs Murtha as House Democrat leader
Stupid is as stupid does.

6. Cruise arrives in Rome ahead of wedding
Seals off all possible escape exits

7. Dinosaur City planned for Texas in 2008
Special exhibit will feature Kennedy and Byrd.

8. He drives awfully fast, for a dead guy
Registered Democrat breaks the barriers of life/death and speed to vote.

9. Sex homework
Can I get extra credit?

10. Twenty eunuchs start collecting taxes in India.
Democrats model how to empty taxpayers' pockets. Plans to outsource are in the works.

I'VE FOUND PROOF!!! FIAR AND FM ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!!!

I found proof that FM and FIAR are the same person. Click here to see it.

CHOOSING NERVOUS NELLIE FOR NOW

I did not need to see this as I am finally drifting off to restful sleep. DAMNIT!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Your Choice



I'm going to temporarily forget that this country totally screwed itself this week. I am going to put aside Elton John's belief that what he has to say about religion is relevant. I'm going to not choose sides in the Britney/K-Fed split..well I'd side with the kids in any case, but whoever raised their parents don't deserve to raise the grandkids. You know that whole Democrat, ready-to-pull-out-of-Iraq, beginning in six months thing? Yeah, I'm choosing to ignore it today. My brain might explode. I'm also ignoring the speculation that Joe Lieberman will register as a Republican. As much as I admire his willingness to stand up to his own party on a trivial amount of matters (not that all the matters are trivial), I don't think he is a Republican. I wouldn't mind his vote in the Senate, though. I'm going to put aside all of those things. Watch the end of the Nascar race and enjoy the pretty flowers.

Daisies are my favorite flowers. Not only are they colorful, but they also always seem to reach as far they can for the sunshine. Almost like how we should reach for the good things in life as far as we can. While we can't control the world (still convinced FIAR and FM think they can) and we can't control what others think, we can control the most important elements in our lives. We can choose to not let the things of this world drag us down into a rut. We can choose to love (whether it is successful or not is another thing). We can choose to hide and not confront the hardships of life, or we can choose to fight with determination. I think I will resolve to reach for the good things and choose determination.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I WILL NOT BE THWARTED!!!

I'm having YouTube issues because I switched to Blogger Beta. However, all you have to do is click...that shouldn't be like walking across the room to change the channel, right?

First, I have an important example that provides a warning of what will happen to you, men, if you do not eat bacon and your diet consists of only Fresca.

Next, I have a special holiday treat for y'all, but especially Rachel, since she is sooooo into Christmas.

And for my own enjoyment, and hopefully your enjoyment...a little song to get us all psyched for the next week!

I guess you can tell by all my posts that I've had way too much time on my hands today. I didn't go take pictures...hopefully next weekend. Long story and I don't want to talk about it.

A MUST READ & "SEE"

Little Miss Chatterbox at the Chatterbox Chronicles has a wonderful post that gives us some good news and lets us know what she is thankful for.

While the entire post is excellent, the end is priceless!

Btw...LMC has been added to my links list. Visit her NOW!!!!!

Flyers? Spirited Hockey????

Ok..the Flyers are losing 3-2 to the Sabres. BUT...they are playing with some oomph! Good, physical hockey! YEAH!!!! Could they be showing a few blips of life on the screen?

In honor of the spirited play (hope they win), I have dug out my hockey haiku book by Poch and Davidson and offer these gems: (We lost, but at least it wasn't a drubbing.)

During the game, it's
Jagr: Master. Afterwards,
it's Jagrmeister.

(Yes, Wyatt...that was for you.)

Bad midlife mullet.
Chewing gum won't restore youth.
Barry Melrose: Why?

Buffalo Sabres
have a buffalo mascot,
no sword. This is Zen.
(Well, Rachel...I had to, sorry.)

SURPISE!!!!

I decided I needed a change. All of those dots were driving me batty. I also didn't like the limited use of dull blue or bright obnoxious colors for the type of the blog. So I changed it. I hope it is easier on your eyes.

If you notice anything missing that used to exist in the other blog, let me know. I think I fixed and updated things. The links are now in alphabetical order...that was driving me crazy, too. Perhaps I should go to school to be a librarian.

Well...I hope you are all having a nice weekend. :)

Friday, November 10, 2006

Hmmm....Conspiracy Theory #1?

I have a really bad habit of over-analyzing. It is a trait I do not like. However, it comes in handy when I read literature, watch a movie, or take part in anything else that has a "deeper" message.

So, bear with me on this one. I was in my workroom at school on Wednesday (pre-Rumsfeld announcement). A teacher was leaving the room and said something about Bush and "his party." I responded with, "Is it really his party?" I said this because the party that Bush saw throughout the Reagan years and the party he had alongside him in Texas does not exist. It has been gone for a few years, at least. In its stead have been circus barkers that resemble Republicans, but seem to be otherwise a lot of the time.

When the announcement of Rumsfeld's "resignation" was made, at first I thought...great timing boneheads, but then I had a second thought. Certainly Bush isn't stupid enough to not realize that had this announcement been made days earlier it could have tipped some of the races. Then I thought...what if Bush did it on purpose because he's pissed with the way the Republican party has become and with how they screwed up how they handled their positions of power in Washington. Maybe he ensured change.

I know...I'm over-analyzing. However, I read a blog post at philly.com/Attytood, by Will Bunch, that kind of makes the same assertion. I don't totally agree with this guy, and I certainly know there are plenty of holes that can be punched through his argument (and mine). Thinking can be an interesting thing, though.

I'm not a theorist, and I really am not a confrontational person...that's not the reason for this post. I just thought it was interesting.

THANK YOU

To all of those who visit this blog, either regulars who have served, or those who have served that find themselves browsing through...

THANK YOU.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

RT's Neighborhood...someone get me a sweater and Keds...

It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. The blog neighborhood where I reside is a collection of somewhat like-minded, yet very unique individuals.

Firsssssst we have Sssssteve from First with Flair. He is an overachiever, always trying to be first to comment...not to post, but to comment. His favorite hobby is to buy junk cars, drive them cross-country, and then donate them to the local salvage yard. He's a giver.

Sssssteve's had two cousins come to visit the neighborhood and it appears we haven't scared them out of town. Wreckse of Oregon, and Terri, who finds herself in the Middle of No Man's Land, have become pleasant, frequent guests. Welcome!

Then we have the town cop, Wyatt, always walking the beat looking for societal injustices and pictures of girls that remind him he is a man. Wyatt is working on developing a new career in personal training. He's up to the five pound pink weights, so in a few years, they might offer him a job. You might not want to speak to him on Fridays, as he is usually in a hateful mood.

Just as every town needs a hardworking lawman, every town needs a brave firefighter. CapnDen at First In is our trusted guy to drive "Big Red." When he is not fighting fires and saving lives, he is cranking up the Iron Maiden and dreaming of muscle cars....and denim jackets.

Our town security specialist is actually a UAW member...we call him CUG. He has an ample supply of steel to keep us safe from terrorists.

In the industrial park we have a group of travel enthusiasts called the Moxargon Group. I hear they travel to far reaches of the earth to find traces of intelligence. I don't think they found any in the U.S. on Tuesday. One troubling thing to note, one of their leaders, Remulak, has disappeared...be on the lookout.

Aerosmith has the toxic twins, and so do we. FIAR and Fmragtops use their biting sarcasm to remind us all who is always right and that we must always eat our bacon if we want to remain healthy...apparently fruits and veggies are not allowed since they are the mainstay of hippies. In fact, their hate for hippies goes back to when they were small lads. One thing to watch out for, though, FIAR tends to walk around muttering "boom, boom, boom" for some weird reason. We're working on his meds.

We also have our own Al Bundy-esque husband, father, crawl space explorer, and pool fixer--Deathlok. He also makes sure that the men have Men's Week End...not to be confused with a weekend. He recalls those weekends as drunken exploits, hungover sporting events, and cold showers; however, I have it on authority that they get homesick for their better halves and cry themselves to sleep after drowning their sorrows in guinness.

My neighbor, Rachel, is an IT freak! She is always happy to help with any computer explosions and men-are-pigs related discussions. She also loves men in uniform...well, partly uniformed. Btw...never ask her to go Christmas shopping. I do hear, however, that she is always up for a pint.

Now, every bastion of conservative thought must have one person who marches to the beat of an out-of-sync drummer. GrimJack, who is very intelligent and nice, quite often provides the opposite view to ours (at times), but we all listen to each other even if we might not all agree...well, we all vary a little in our beliefs anyway, now don't we? Warning: Grim does tend to get the sun and rain mixed up at times...don't hold that against him.

Everyone loves the "cool" mom. Dragon Lady is not only the cool mom, but also a student, writer, and pretty funny. The fact she likes Iron Maiden doesn't hurt her standing in town, either.

John D is our man of mystery. Not only am I convinced that his name is John Doe, but he also sounds like an FBI or CIA agent to me. Interestingly, he's also in the military, so I think he is out on special missions rounding up terrorists and he just can't tell us. So, he writes short stories, restaurant reviews, and quotes really good, old movies for our entertainment.

As I am a teacher, I can appreciate the enthusiasm of budding teacher, Peekah. His blog always has funny stories and fun jokes...he's our happy-go-lucky resident "super-dad."

Uber is another educator in the neighborhood. She is an artist and very smart lady. Uber visits the neighborhood once in a while...she has much more important things to tend to...but I know her buddies always appreciate when she visits them and when she takes the time to post.

Insol, the town sage and all around huge brain, uses his humor and intelligence to provide potent assertions about the state of the world, often including still shots of Star Trek. He also sends unsuspecting good girls like me to sites with boobies.

So that's our neighborhood. I think it is a good thing that no one is named Mr. McFeely, don't you?

GOT THE TIME?

I've been catching glimpses of the Democrats informing the world what they have planned. (Think they've forgotten about the veto.)

I keep wondering to myself, "When will they start to crack?" Can you imagine putting on a persona, reasonably speaking, for two years (to get a president and keep control of the house and senate), that doesn't match your true identity?

How long can they all fake it? This will be interesting. Seriously, they can't go long without beginning to whine, lie, cheat and steal...can they?

Some Sweet Stuff

Sweet: My dad is cute. Today, we had our weekly lunch date. The 15th is his birthday and he said he keeps telling people that he is 68...the year I was born, and I will be 38, the year he was born. I love my dad's innocence and genuine spirit. In fact, he was upset with himself that he did not send my mom a birthday card on behalf of my bed-ridden grandmom. They are divorced. (Btw...mom's b-day 10/27, grandmom's..10/30...dad's 11/15...that's a lot of b-days at one time.)

Sweet: I went to Barnes and Noble today for a journal to keep track of how I feel vs the food I eat and how I feel when I am in that dreaded mold-infested classroom and if it is raining outside...I'm noticing a trend of bronchial issues. Anyway...(ramble, ramble), I found a little book titled Hockey Haiku. Here's one that I thought was really good.

Don't let the pink ice
fool you. This goon's lagoon ain't
for Barbies. That's blood.
-Poch & Davidson






November Sweeps: Pandering Attempt

Well, not really. I have added Ssssssteve's other cousin (hopefully he doesn't have as many cousins as I do, or we'll all be in trouble), Terri at Middle of No Man's Land to my linky list.

If you have not visited Terri, do so. She's in the middle of nowhere, probably with one traffic light for entertainment. I lived in a similar place, once. My form of entertainment was going to the livestock auction. Watching grown men spit chew on the floor (gobs of it) is always a lovely way to cap an evening.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

HMMM...MY MALE BLOG BUDDIES AS ASPIRING FASCISTS?????

burn hippy!

Things that make me want to shove hot daggers in my eyes...

1. Tractor trailers that ride my ass, in heavy rain, when I'm doing 65 mph...in the frakin' right lane! Please tell me where I am supposed to go...the shoulder?

2. Teenage boys bickering about how one of them hurt the feelings of a girl the other boy likes. They were bickering like old ladies. Grow some and shut up!

3. Students arguing a point, just to be contrary....grrrr.

4. Nancy Pelosi's fake, dentured smile, over-made face, and condescending voice. BTW...she rattled off a nice list of "gifts." Hmm...wonder how high taxes have to go to pay for all of it?

5. The thought of Barney Frank and Ted Kennedy having control over committee hearings/committees. Damn.

6. Having to listen to my very liberal colleagues talk about the election...any part of it. Apparently we'll have fuel alternatives and no corruption in D.C. now that they are in control. Dizzy dreamers!

7. I didn't finish my work at school and now I have work to do over my long weekend. BAH!

8. Rain. (Unless I'm in bed and just listening to it.)

9. All the Monday morning-quarterbacking going on in the media, today. SHUT UP!

10. People who take country music way too seriously (see my Faith Hill post (and read "Carole's" post)...the much visited one)...Ummm...I think we are at war...there are more important things to lose a wig over.

I'm cranky, I'm tired, and I'm pissed at the world...well, at stupid voters. Lemmings!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

LIGHT BULB!!!

Ok...this could be dangerous, but I just had an idea. I can't think of what to do with my four-day weekend. I am leaving work tomorrow with no planning or grading to do (that's the plan). For two years I have either been too fatigued or too pained to go anywhere when I had down time. Now I want to do things, but I'm so far removed from a social life and fun that I don't know what to do. Ok...get to the point rambler, right? I had a thought a few minutes ago of doing a photo scavenger hunt. I have an awesome digitial camera that I hardly ever use. So, my blog buddies...you get to make suggestions as to what I should find for photo mayhem. Keep in mind I have limitations. I can't climb mountains, run, jump, scale tall buildings in a single bound. You get the picture. (I made a pun... ha ha)

I need to have some fun and since I have to do it solo, this might make going out to do "nothing" a bit of fun. Oh...I'm not taking pictures of human flesh.

Since I have a full day of blood work, taking my mom to breakfast, taking my dad to lunch, and visiting with my grandmom on Thursday. I'll probably do this on Saturday. I'll need to rest Friday.

Oh speaking of something fun to do...I heard a commercial for a concert for The Cult tomorrow night in Philly....I'm so pissed. I wanna go! Not fair!

Smackdowns!

Since Faith Hill and Kevin...Mr. Spears-Federline have received a smackdown this week, I thought I'd share two short stories of "burns" that I had to deliver to two students this week.

Yesterday, during a critique of the school newspaper, a student from the first year class was going on and on about a few mistakes that should have been caught, but had been addressed. When I say "on and on," I mean the girl would not shut up and was quite nervy. That's when I asked, "And they didn't print any of your articles in the paper this edition, did they?" Yeah...the class was silent at first and then a few said, "buuuuuuuuuuurn!" I then invited her to copy edit the entire paper during the next layout. Simply, we have too many people copy-editing and weird stuff happens.

Today, I had study hall. We have a rotating schedule. There is a girl in my study hall who is very bossy and likes to tell the teachers what she is going to do. Well, she became uppity and rude, as kids with no sense of respect often do. She left the study hall and I put her in for a cut. Then she came back at the end of the study hall with a pass from her music teacher. (She had a lesson and all I did was tell her to wait two minutes while I retrieve a sign-out sheet..to which she replied, "I don't have time for this.") Now...she returns...and I start to tell her why I became gruff earlier and why she needs to work on understanding that she is expected to do things a certain way (they are the rules). Well, she kept interrupting me and she became rude. Afterall, I'm the hired help in her world. I told her, "you are a child; I am an adult, and you need to do what you are told when you are told to do it. When someone tells you to wait two minutes so that something that can benefit you can be done, you need to sit down and wait two minutes." She was speechless. RT 2 Rude kids 0 (Note: During our first run-in, students told her she should just sit down.)

I never talk to kids this way. But they just got on my last nerve and did the cha cha. In fact, I was trying to clear an area of the school after a bell and one of my students saw me and he said, "Ms. **, are you trying to be mean again? It isn't gonna work. You're too nice."

One more day until my four-day weekend! Ahhhhhh.....

I couldn't stop laughing last night after I saw this...

Faith Hill Poor Loser at CMA (close - up)

The best part of this is that her body language clearly shows she thought she won (kidding, my ass). I think Faith should rent All About Eve this weekend. ;P

Monday, November 06, 2006

Vote America

VOTE & PRAY.

I just saw the funniest thing!!!!

I was watching the CMA (Country Music Awards) show. [It can happen.] Then the best thing happened...no, Johnny Cash did not come back to life...when they handed out the best female artist (?) award to Carrie Underwood, they still had all the other nominees on camera. Faith Hill (Mrs. Tim McGraw) screamed WHAT!?!?!?!?! in disbelief and stormed off camera. It was too funny!!! Hopefully the morning news shows or YouTube will have it tomorrow or in the near future. It is the one thing you've always wanted to see happen on an awards show and it happened!!! Priceless...so, Faith Hill has a bit of a chip on her shoulder, eh?

Things I'm grateful for, today...




1. Sexy men in kilts! Don't have to be wearing my family tartans. Yowza!
2. I finally finished those horrible, dreaded essays this evening. Tomorrow after school...everything else...will I ever get caught up from when I was sick?
3. I generally have really nice, sweet students.
4. My former student, with tourette's and ADHD exclaimed that he loved me...is that one of the tourette's things or does he mean it? Sweet kid...highly misunderstood by many teachers. I'm the only one he did not torture. I think I remind him of his mom.
5. I will be sending goody boxes to my former student in Iraq. I love sending goody boxes...now to someone I know! (bittersweet)
6. I didn't fall asleep driving home tonight.
7. I have off Thursday and Friday. I'm doing the happy dance! Now to find something to do Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
8. The guys on Prison Break are hot.
9. Did I mention men in kilts...well some men in kilts, are hot?!?!
10. I'm grateful for the cool, crisp air that smells of fireplaces and wood stoves...love that smell.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

There can be only one




Ok, ladies...I wanted to provide you with clips of Adrian Paul in action in Highlander, but none of the clips did him justice, and the music used with them was really dumb. So, I am forced to use stills. He's hot. Yummy!

Don't worry ladies...

In the post below, I sink to my deepest lows yet to pander to my male blog buddies. Ladies, I will sink even deeper for your readership...well, there are only a few of you. I'm going on a reconnaissance mission, now. I hope to be able to locate some major pandering to out-pander what I have given the guys.

November Sweeps: PANDERING ALERT!!!!

DANISH BACON

This is why I never visit the Jersey shore.

Hang Him High

Caveat: I don't do serious very well.

I don't usually write about stuff that is too serious or current events. I like to let my very eloquent blog buddies do it. (I'd just be a cheap copy.) However, I want to comment on the Saddam Hussein verdict. I hope that his death will end a dark chapter in Iraq, that the people will see that he is gone and that they can get on with their lives. I feel like a Pollyanna making that statement, but somewhere in their souls they have got to muster the courage to change their country. Unfortunately, I do not think they realize just how much positive power for change they possess.

I want to be optimistic enough to say that Hussein's death will inspire change, but the Iraqi way of life is so inherent to violence and corruption that I doubt much will change. If it does, it will take decades. But, it is comforting to know that if change does progress over decades, the change in Iraq will benefit future generations. I'd like to see the people that suffered under Hussein experience a much more pleasant way of life, though. Even our founding generations had that opportunity.

I'm glad we went and ousted the prick. I'm glad he's going to die. I hope the Iraqi people have the victory of seeing Hussein die and the importance of it seared into their minds.

I'm not sure how to sum up all of this. These are just my thoughts. I want to be optimistic. I want to believe there will be change. I want to believe that Hussein's death can be a symbol for Iraq to flourish, just as the deaths of other maligned rulers have inspired positive change.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Red-faced

I was thinking...nothing better to do...and I remembered a time when I felt really embarrassed. I mean so embarrassed that I'm sure I turned about ten shades of red. It wasn't the time I walked into a support pillar in the Cherry Hill Mall when I was flirting with a guy a liked, and it wasn't the zillion times I've said something dumb. My most embarrassing moment was when I had to sing "Love Hurts" in my acting class without the help of music. While I sat in the "audience" waiting my turn, I could have kicked myself for taking the assingment seriously and picking a song that would challenge me...a song I had always wanted to learn. The other students were singing "You are my Sunshine" and other such nonsense. Ugh. Well, I survived and now I know the words. I don't sound like Edith Bunker when I sing it like I do on Steelheart's "Never Let You Go," so that's a good thing.

What is your most embarrassing moment? (Obviously nothing too embarrassing. What if I meet you someday?)
The young ones - University challenge

I used to love this show. For all you House fans, Hugh Laurie is in it.

I wanna...

If you could run a department of our government, what would it be and how would you run it? (improvements/hirings/firings, etc...)

I was going to ask, "If you could run the world, what would you do?" However, I didn't want to encourage FIAR's megolamania and Fmragtop's dogmatic behavior any further.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Some really stupid stuff...

So...I'm feeling kind of icky again. Hmm....maybe it could be that classroom. The other teacher I share the room with keeps feeling sick. It can't help that when they cleaned the filter in the system above my desk that black sooty stuff got all over everything. It also probably doesn't help that squirrels were somehow involved in all of this...yeah...I've been inhaling squirrel crap and piss and whatever else squirrels spread around. Nice....When I got really sick they decided to look at the filters. There is a mold problem, too...probably that black stuff.

Well...then on the way home I was so tired I fell asleep for like a second or two. I was on a two-lane road @ 45 mph. One second I was in my lane on my way to pick up the Boondock Saints (tomorrow night's entertainment...and the wine), and the next thing I know I my eyes open and I'm totally in the other lane. Good thing no one was in that lane...head on collisions aren't too nice, so I hear. I am a really careful driver, so that upset me beyond belief.

So...then for dinner I had Chinese. My two fortune cookies were excellent, so I thought I'd share them:

God will give you everything you want.
Wow! That would be amazing considering the crap-fest my life has been the past few years!

You will travel to many places.
Yep, Texas and Montana are where my friends are and will be living...I'll be taking some trips.


Have a good evening, y'all!


Simpsons Music Video: Ballroom Blitz

I love this song, but the actual video of The Sweet performing just creeped me out a little too much...too fem...I like this better. :)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Let November "sweeps" begin!

It is November sweeps in tv-land. So, why not extend the sweepiness to the blog-world?

This November, for your readership, I will do the following:

1. I will drink lots of booze and blame it on a need to be more relaxed when I grade.

2. I will go to that married guy's house and deliver a "health warning" to his wife.

3. I promise to stop using the word awesome in my truly valley (Delaware Valley) girl way.

4. I will smite terrorists with both hands tied behind my back. I will use only my piercing blue eyes!

5. Instead of offering charitable or physical help to the disabled and ill...I will only mock them...unless of course they give me bacon.

6. I promise to visit each blog on my links sidebar at least twenty times per day...hey it is only about five more than I already do.

7. In a move orignated by Wyatt for more ratings, I will post girly loveliness for my male blog-buddies.

8. For the two or three females...I promise some major beefcake. I don't need much encouragement, though.

9. I will continue to participate in a YouTube 12-step program and will try not to rely upon clips...unless of course you have requests. Pandering isn't beyond me.

10. In an attempt to spice up my blog, I will blow up cars, buildings, have people involved in high-speed chases, and I will display torrid love scenes. Oh wait...I can't hook up a camera to my apartment...too personal.

And in a move unknown to tv-land, I will entertain reasonable requests and suggestions. :)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

From "His" position...

Credit goes to Rachel for posting this on her blog. This is the most awesome response to Kerry that I've seen! It is awesome!

I like the end of this ad...

Wrestling

I'm sick of all the political ads, but this just tickles my funny bone...even if he is trying to say, "look at how bi-partisan I am." Whatever...

My cousin just sent me this...

My cousin Ken is awesome. We don't stay in touch nearly enough. His brother, from TN, sent him this. (I didn't correct any spelling or anything.) This makes me prooud to be Scottish! ;)

A Bono (of U2) Story - Gotta luv the Scottish sense of humour!

Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says softly and seriously into the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies...... A voice from near the front pierces the silence..."Well, fucken stop doin' it then!"

A peek inside the vacant mind...

Some things that went through my head today...

1. Why don't these students use the writing lessons and resources I've given to them (and their teachers before me), to write really good essays with excellent assertions/opinions and credible textual evidence to support their opinions? I read the book. I don't need a book report.

2. Why do students ask me a question (multiple times within seconds of each other) after I explained that one point just minutes before?

3. If I read a headline that states, "Miami zoo hosts poop exhibit," does that mean the Democrats have changed their minds about when and where to have their next convention?

4. Why do honors students think they still only read for plot?

5. Does using big words mean you're smarter than me?

6. Why does grading make me amorous? Why do I think about amorous matters so much?

7. What the hell is that kid wearing?

8. I really wish the NEA/NJEA would not insult my intelligence and send me voting "recommendations."

9. The commercials stop Tuesday night, right?

10. I can't believe cricket players in Pakistan got caught doping. Hmmmm...wonder what the punishment is...you'd think cricket would be punishment in itself.

11. That Rick Santorum ad with him knocking out a wrestler is funny.

12. Yeah, idiot! Slam on your brakes in front of the state trooper...he won't notice that you're doing 85 mph when you cause a twenty-car pile up...ass.

13. Who started a baker's dozen?