Headlines!

Ok. I kept falling asleep while I did this post. Seriously. It has taken me almost two hours to do this. I'm not promising anything. Well, except that I'm going right to bed once this is posted.

1. It Can Run For Hours; It Lives Longer; Has More Sex; Eats More Without Gaining Weight...
Huh? Oh, excuse me, I was just daydreaming.

2. 'Unwelcoming' USA sees sharp fall in visitors...
Good. I'm tired of people coming here to enjoy the U.S. and then having them go home just to trash-talk us.

3. Al-Jazeera: US Air Force struck Syrian nuclear site...
If it was true my response would be, "YAY!!!!"

4. 2 AM campaign call irks 3,000 NY voters
I guess they are trying to take advantage of drunks. It is just like any other long night of drinking--big talk, promises, promises, promises..no follow-through.

5. Mondale Endorses Clinton for President...
Well, there you have it. Hillary can just stop while she's ahead, now. One of the biggest political losers in the world just endorsed her. Heh. She should see if Dukakis wants to go for a tank ride with her.

6. Breasts: New weapons in terror war
Finally, I have a purpose in life!

7. Love hotels woo investors
Is that what they are calling them now?

8. Woman Says Pet-Sitter Made Pig Fat
Ummmm. . .

9. Mich. woman fined for stabbing husband with fork during restaurant argument
Next time, she gets to choose the restaurant.

10. Mythical, bloodsucking beast just a coyote
Oh, I thought it was Hillary.