Friday, July 11, 2008


I was reading the post of someone who lost her husband/partner to a massive heart attack yesterday. He was in his early fifties. (I'd link her, but I'm not entirely sure she wants traffic right now.)

She talked about following your dreams and the importance of doing so. You see, they had been pursuing their dreams to live life as they saw fit, in some beautiful, yet at times, forbidding landscape.

Her words stuck with me and made me think a bit about what dreams I have. After trying to think beyond the basic stuff I think we all want: love and acceptance, I couldn't think of anything. That bothers me.

I have no dreams.

There is something very wrong with that, I think. I kind of just go through life.

I remember when I was a young kid I wanted to be a heart doctor and cure heart disease, since both my grandfathers had it. I sucked at math and well, I gave up on that idea. The only thing closest to that was to then just go to college. I did, performed extremely well, and graduated summa cum laude. But, now what?

However, any time I have ever wanted to do something that I felt was really important, that might border on a dream, it got squashed or I convinced myself that it was not worth pining over, because it would just fall apart or go bust.

So, I think I've lost my ability to dream.

Maybe that's why when I see dreams in other people, I become a hyper-encourager. I want so much for everyone else to see their dreams through, or at least try, so that "what if" never comes into the picture.

I don't even know how to end this. I just don't know why I don't have any dreams. I have things I pray for: good health, provision for my needs and such. I'm not sure that counts as a dream, though. Those are all things that require God's grace, not a talent or desire (beyond what I give God).

In the post that I read, there was a live out and follow your dreams without hesitation. That would be my advice to those of you that have dreams. If I get any, I'll do the same and take her advice.


Jeffro said...

I don't know about all that - here lately all I've been trying to do is survive and keep my head above water. Bills and all.

I've never been all that goal oriented - "I'm gonna work towards getting that (fill in the blank here)" and move on to another goal. My "dream" is more to keep working on being a moral person. I'm a simple guy with simple needs. Sophisticated desires have no hold over me - I'll die happy even though I won't be driving a Bentley, or have a personal jet, or even a swimming pool in my yard. All of those things would be nice, but I'm not going to measure my life against whether I acquire that sort of thing.

Nor will I find the cure for cancer, or save the whales, or whatever. I'm comfortable with that, too. I just don't see my life as stunted or unfulfilled because I won't achieve those things.

I know who you are talking about - I've forgotten the site exactly, but I've read her in the past. They are commendable for trying to live their dream, which was really pretty simple if under difficult conditions. Don't feel inadequate because you've not taken on such a challenge.

You've made a difference in the lives of many children, and your devotion to your family is admirable as well. Don't sell yourself short.

Plus, my condolences. What a shocker, and he was too young.

RT said...

I'm fine with being ordinary and not doing major, spectacular things. Really.

Upon reflection, I think what has grabbed me most is that I feel like I've lost my ability to dream. Somewhere along the way, it became easier to not have them. Too much disappointment will do that to a person, I suspect.