Monday, July 07, 2008

Headlines!

1. Japanese sailor first to cross Pacific in wave-powered boat
Uh...ummm....

2. Stratford man lived for mind games
What guy doesn't?

3. Man out-spits father, claims pit-spitting title
You know you have become a man when you can out-spit your dad.

4. What's a penis worth? $795,000, court rules
Hey, Wyatt! Forget the vasectomy, your kids' college funds await!

5. SLAM: Kerry says McCain lacks judgment to be president...
O.k., so I'm laughing too hard to retort. Kerry-Heinz really is that stupid, isn't he?

6. Thief makes off with $40,000 in bananas
A rogue group of chimps, tired of rising food costs, claimed responsibility.

7. Report: Schoolboys Get Detention for Refusing to Pray to Allah
We are PC-ing our right minds into oblivion. I'm really beginning to hate my profession.

8. Miners refuse to work after death
Lazy bums.

9. Never withhold herpes from loved one
It is the gift that keeps on giving and giving.

10. Farmer bill dies in house
Ol' MacDonald was seen fleeing the scene mumbling something about a "whack, whack here and a whack, whack there."


5 comments:

Snigglefrits said...

Too funny RT!

Wyatt Earp said...

Does size change the price?

Rogue said...

Where's the penis link? I want to see if I'm owed some money.

Snigglefrits said...

Careful what you ask for gentlemen, YOU might end up owing instead of being owed.

RT said...

Snigglefrits
I know I've felt short-changed in the past heh.

Wyatt
I didn't think about that. I guess you'd end up with a gift certificate to Sesame Place or something.

Rogue
See Snigglesfrits's warning. HA!