unSecretary General wants Santa's job!!!

Marauding Monger Mission: The New un Secretary General


Changes unSecretary General, Ban Ki-moon will make in accordance to his "naughty & nice" list:

1. The only members of the unSecurity Council will be the Monger Horde™, the United States, and Great Britain.

2. The unSecretary General will charge the Security Council with the task of ridding the world of the extremism and strife caused by nut-jobs. At the top of the list is Frank J, followed by nations that are ruled by dictators (either dressed in faux military garb or dressed in sweaters).

3. Changes will be made at the unSecretary General's place of business:

• Screwball leaders will be allowed to make inane speeches, but only to lure them in for capture.
• The menu will include a plethora of bacon® products!
• All of the flags flown will be American.

4. Other changes being considered:

• Removal of UNforceful troops from where they are stationed, as they are doing absolutely nothing...well unless you count serving as unarmed targets
• The extortion of money from the United States will stop.
• Food and money donated to unfortunate areas of the globe will actually find its way to those that need the relief.
• The unSecretary General has decided that none of his children will be caught in a money making scandal.

5. Any countries or leaders caught buying, selling, or mediating any trade for arms with Iran or Russia will be kicked out and lose any and all funding.

Oh, and ice hockey will be the official sport of the world!