1. He'd try to develop a task force, in conjunction with security advisors, to rid the world of bacon...this, of course, will be quite unsuccessful and will result in his demise.
2. Frank J will add the feminine perspective to the discussions.
3. He will insist on creating high-level, top-secret administrative positions for monkeys. However, scandal can't be too far behind since Frank J is a (literal) monkey lover.
4. He'd offer to write books of speeches already given by President Bush. He'd then sell a t-shirt with the image of the book on it.
5. Hearing that brushed nickle nobs look nice on new cabinets, Frank J will have his nipples replaced in a painful (humorous to us) operation. He means well.
But the only thing that Bush will trust Frank J to execute as a member of the cabinet is official car starter and food taster. I hear the secret service wants to make his job interesting. They're thinking of testing his tolerance to polonium-210. (FJ is convinced they'll be teaching him the nuclear football code.)
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