Helen Marjorie Cameron M...

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while.....but our hearts forever.
Author Unknown

"Surprised by Joy--Impatient as the Wind"

Surprised by joy — impatient as the Wind
I turned to share the transport--Oh! with whom
But Thee, deep buried in the silent tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind--
But how could I forget thee? Through what power,
Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss?--That thought's return
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.

William Wordsworth

My grandmom passed away this evening. I'm sadder than I can really express. I want to let you all know that my grandmom was so much more than the frustration that I vented a few weeks or so ago.

She was born in Scotland 89 years ago and grew up in British Columbia, Canada.

I was blessed with a grandmother who always made sure I had new glasses and a new winter coat, because my mom couldn't afford one (this is my dad's mom, btw). She taught me how to say "momma." She taught me how to make tuna fish sandwiches. She taught me that biting my nails was a bad thing. She was always game for Go-Fish and tic-tac-toe. We used to watch Creature Double Feature and the WWF on Saturdays when my dad had visitation.

She taught me a little bit about gardening, cooking, and about all the family history and stories. Somehow, I am related Rob Roy.

I remember when my mom's dad died when I was little, I was sleeping over her house, in a cot, snuggly beside her bed. I heard the phone and I knew, just as when I held her hand on Saturday for the last time I knew.

My grandmom and I used to have lunch dates at Strawbridge's in Philadelphia. We'd dress up and go window shop. Sometimes she bought me new shoes (I was an ever-growing child). Then, we'd go to lunch. We'd have a good time.

Grandmom was generous to a fault. Always sneaking me a five dollar bill, telling me, "Don't tell anyone." I thought it was a fun game, but she was hiding it from my grandpop. So, I'll add brave to my description of her. She even gave me her coveted recipe for Scottish shortbread...which you can find down a ways on this blog.

She always forgave my immaturity and impulsiveness. She was always proud of me. She was proud when I became a paralegal, proud when I went to college and graduated with lots of honors, and she was proud when I got my job. She only ever begged me to not be a lawyer because it would change me. We have relatives that are lawyers...I'll leave it at that...so when I had the real opportunity to pursue my legal career, that I wanted so much...I stuck with teaching, and I haven't regretted it.

I was lucky to have the grandmom I had. I could've had any grandmom. I was supposed to be put up for adoption. So, when I think of the alternatives in my life. I am very glad, crappy childhood and all, that God gave me a grandmother that taught me to love and to be generous. On top of it all....she was beautiful. The inside and the outside made her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

The poem I've chosen is one that I read in college that brought tears to my eyes. It takes a couple of read-throughs. But I have to get used to moments of joy and not being able to share them with my grandmom. There is so much I had been hoping to share with her...adult joys.

I wish I could go on and on about my grandmom. She was my best friend. Just know she was the most awesome woman who dealt with a lot, who never let it turn her into a bitter woman. She was brave, strong, proud, and sentimental.

Hug those you love. :) I'll be back to post in a few days, but I'll be lurking. I need my friends. :)

The song, "Veronica," by Elvis Costello always reminded me of my grandmom. So I hope you see its worth.