Sunday, December 16, 2007

Headlines (lame ones)

1. Pieces of Britney Big on eBay
I bet her brain doesn't get many bids. I wonder how much her. . . never mind.

2. I-Report: Frozen limbs come crashing down
Geez! Look out for those arms and legs. That could hurt.

3. Celine Dion takes her final bow in Vegas
Darn. I was going to go to Vegas to see her perform. NOT!

4. Author of nasty letters from Santa sought
Apparently he's a bit miffed with some kids who keep asking for a Red Rider BB gun. They'll put your eye out, you know.

5. Vuitton-clad official spouts socialism
Then he realized that he was a capitalist.

6. German dads jump at chance to stay home with kids
Meanwhile, French fathers deny the ability to procreate given their innate lameness.

7. Clinton Invites Voters to 'Inspect' Her
Ewwwwwwww! Even Bill won't do that!

8. Lovers turn to text message to say it's over
IR ON A D8 W/UR BFF! U SUK! BYE! >.<

9. Deformed swan finally finds mate

There is hope for me, yet.

10. Man accused of stealing plane to impress girlfriend
Yeah, because nothing says lovin' like a conjugal visit at the Federal prison.

2 comments:

USA_Admiral said...

1. I am so tired of hearing of this bag.

7. Was mighty hard to read.

9. You are way too hard on yourself.

Thanks for these.

RT said...

1. So am I.
7. Heebie jeebies!
9. I'm a realist.