Monday, October 08, 2007

YOU KNOW YOU WANT THEM! HEADLINES, SILLY!

1. CNN meteorologist: Gore's film is 'fictional'...
Next, the enlightened meteorologist will state, "This just in, the Colts have won the Super Bowl!"

2. Confused Moose Thinks He's a Cow...
Transpecies freak! Next thing you know he'll be walking around singing Judy Garland songs.

3. iPod catches fire in man's pants
Why did this song pop into my head?
(poor taste alert)

4. Charges dismissed in sherry enema death
See, if he had used a top-shelf vodka, he'd be fine. I don't even want to know what kind of sick freaks give each other sherry enemas.

5. Burglar" turns out to be drunk neighbor
Captain America assured the neighbors that he'll make sure Wyatt stops wandering naked and drunk into people's houses.

6. McCain Wants Greenspan, Dead Or Alive...
Ooookayyyyyyy. That's a good way to make friends and influence people. Jon Bon Jovi is said to be looking into copyright infringement.

7. Chinese girl , eight, prepares to swim Channel by paddling with legs and arms bound
Isn't that child abuse? Oh wait, it's CHINA!

8. Doughnuts are not the enemy, claims the professor of obesity
It's what's in the doughnuts that kill you. Embrace the lard, people! (That made me a little queasy.)

9. Drug-related crime is main cause of jail sentences in Iran
Homosexuality is still a death sentence, however. Wait. I thought they did not have the same societal ills as we do. Someone very important is a bit dellusional, eh?

10. Pelosi: 'I pray for Bush all of the time'...
Praying to your voodoo gods will not get you anywhere, Nancy.

5 comments:

IHeartQuilting said...

Thanks for doing these each week, they are very entertaining. My favs this week are # 3 and #8, although I'm skeptical about the doughnuts.

Anonymous said...

I found some bandwidth!!
Made it to Charolette in 19 hours.

Why does number four just creepme out. Doesn't everybody do that?
Why not Port? Is Chivas too good?
Am I missing out on something?
'scuse me, I'm gonna go give my mouth a Chivas enema.

Skul

Sezme said...

Mrs. G:
I'm glad you enjoy them. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't, because I don't get many comments on them. I thought people didn't like them.

I'll keep them. Just hoping to make some people laugh. :)

Skul:
Great! I get loopy at hour 12...how about you? Enjoy the race!

Yeah, number four is really creepy. Chivas? You Ted Kennedy or something? ;P

Rodney Dill said...

iPod catches fire in man's pants
Why did this song pop into my head?


El Chorizo Caliente Grande

Sezme said...

Your sausage is big and hot? Hot to the taste? Que? ;P