1. Kucinich Questions Bush's Mental Health...
Ok. Do I really need to say it? Kucinich does realize he's nuts, right?
Is it me or does Kucinich look like Mr. Peepers? (Dry-hump alert.)
2. No Charges for Tasered Student...
Heh. Yeah, I think he did receive some charges (just not legal ones).
3. Ireland's tallest tower in Dublin To Be Named After Band 'U2'...
Great. Bono has a huge ego and messiah complex; now people will be worshipping a phallic symbol in his (and his band's) honor. Locusts will be arriving shortly after.
4. ROMNEY COMPARES HILLARY TO AN 'INTERN'...
What? She likes meeting Bill beneath the oval office desk and has a fetish for cigars? Who would have thunk it?
5. Student finds Italian treasure in old sofa
I found an Italian on a sofa, once.
6. Dogs shoot man on hunting trip
Ever since Michael Vick was exposed, dogs have been a little jumpy.
7. Traffic stop yields embalmed heads
The driver claims that he was just taking them home to make head cheese.
8. Good news for New Jersey squirrel eaters
Ummm...tastes like chicken? (ewwww!)
9. Donkey power fuels ecological rubbish revolution
We have our own donkeys. They keep contributing to the rubbish rather than disposing of it.
10. Old prostitute left streets, needed walker
I hear the guys liked her best. Well, she could remove her teeth.
Actually this is a sad story and something we probably never think of. (However, elect a democrat and our sex workers will have every public program available to them. Even matched savings.)
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4 comments:
Here's another good one for you - "Cheerleader gets creamed by football team". I think she actually got hit during a play, but the headline was funny.
I'm a little tipsy right now, but I swear it said, "Headlines! You know you look for men."
I don't. Look for men, that is. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I'm either being hilarious or a complete dips^it. I shouldn't blog while drunk.
Mrs. G:
I saw that after I posted my headlines. It belly-laughed! Doesn't every cheerleader get creamed by the football team?
Fiar:
While I do look, I wasn't looking when I wrote that headline. Now if you look for them, I hope you are drunk, because you'd have some 'splainin' to do. That, or you'd be a complete dipsh*t.
Now, go get dressed in your Vampirate outfit and go scare some kiddies.
Ya know I never connected the Hillary compared to an intern comment. Am I an ass or what?
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