I've been working on that attitude of mine this week. I've also been thinking about simple things that make me happy. Stay with me on this one. It is a good thing.
Before I got ill I used to cook and bake all of the time. In fact, a way to deal with stress was to bake lots of stuff and take it to work or give it to my friends. I'm an especially good cookie and cake baker. Once, when I had some friends over (used to have some of those) for dinner, I served a chocolate fudge cake. It was a little dense, very yummy, and made me feel higher than a kite when I ate it. I made it from scratch, even the frosting. When I frosted it, I took a serrated edge, lightly scraped the side of the cake and then shaved bittersweet chocolate onto the top of the cake--all for decoration, of course. They thought it was a store bought cake. I took it as a compliment. But that is not why I cooked and baked for my friends and co-workers. Yes, it is nice to hear that your efforts are appreciated and that you do something well. However, what meant the most to me was their enjoyment of what I was able to do for them. I feel like that a lot. I always want to do things for people. I like to make people happy and to make them smile. It isn't a "people-pleaser" attitude. It is what people in my faith call a "servant's heart" kind of attitude.
When I see someone hurting, I want to comfort him or her. When I see that someone has a need, I want to meet it in some way. When I see that I have a resource or talent from which someone might benefit, I want to offer it. Something leaps in my heart when a student actually asks for help. It is just something that makes me feel like I matter. It is also something I feel like I'm supposed to do. I like to give.
So, I was thinking today about how much I miss cooking. I haven't been able to stand long enough to cook, and there are reasons that relate to my mom and my living situation, but I miss entertaining. I miss being a part of "things." I miss doing things for others and meeting their needs in some way. Hopefully within the year, I will be in a position to entertain and put smiles on the faces of people I care about--friends and relations.
I look forward to it.
7 comments:
"Before I got ill I used to cook and bake all of the time. In fact, a way to deal with stress was to bake lots of stuff and take it to work or give it to my friends. I'm an especially good cookie and cake baker. Once, when I had some friends over (used to have some of those) for dinner, I served a chocolate fudge cake. It was a little dense, very yummy, and made me feel higher than a kite when I ate it. I made it from scratch, even the frosting. When I frosted it, I took a serrated edge, lightly scraped the side of the cake and then shaved bittersweet chocolate..."
OMG, where were you fourty years ago???
I was known by God, but not even a speck on this earth.
Dang, I forgot, you're a young pup.
Skul
Younger than some and a bit older than others. ;P
Except for the ganache on the cake in the picture, that is pretty much what my cakes used to look like. I'm out of practice, now, though. I have strict orders from my friend in El Paso that I am to make my biscotti and pizzelle recipes for her and send them to her for Christmas. Not sure that will happen, but I hope to make my great-grandmother's Scottish shortbread recipe. Melts in your mouth.
Geez, am I hungry now. Gotta go bake something.
Yah, I'd love to have you over at my house when you're able to cook/bake more. I don't like to cook much at all.
And now that we are trying to get out of debt we are on a strict budget so no going out to eat. It sucks!!
All that to say I can't wait for you to be able to do something that brings you pleasure.
Mrs. G & Dee:
I used to buy tons of cooking magazines and watch all kinds of cooking shows. Then, I'd try to replicate things. Sometimes I did really well, other times...eh, not so much. However, I just felt good when I did it. I get bored and antsy really easy, cooking is the one thing that just keeps me completely focused.
Don't worry, Dee. If you clean as you go and if you enlist the help of some non-adults, I'm sure cooking will become a better experience for you. I think you've said that you home school your children? Develop a home ec. class. :) It uses basic math, science, reading comprehension, and problem solving.
:) Just trying to make it more enjoyable for you.
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