I was online clicking all around the universe and happened upon a site of one-liners. I love one-liners. They can inject laughter into any situation and conversation.Here are a few (from the site) that tickled my funny bone.
1. "In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them." - Johann von Neumann
2. "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." - Peter Kaye.
3. "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon
4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.5. I am not single, I'm romantically challenged.
Got any favorite one-liners?
14 comments:
My favorites are numbers 3 & 4. Good stuff!!
Have you decided who you are pulling the lever for tomorrow???
I have decided. I'm kind of excited about tomorrow, too. :)
101. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Voting Tuesday should be interesting.
Not everyone can be a hero; somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
---------Will Rogers
Did you hear about the Truck driver that broke his arm when he pulled out to avoid a child... and fell off the sofa.
There are 10 kinds of people -- those that understand binary and those that don't.
(/geek oneliner)
did you hear about the constipated mathematician that worked it out with a pencil...
I intend to live forever... so far, so good. -- Steven Wright
Shooting is an engaging system of disciplines requiring lots of relaxation, muscle control, and breathing control- in other words it's basically yoga with a loud boom...
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be -- Abraham Lincoln.
It's better to have loved a short girl, than never to have loved a tall.
(my wife is short)
Admiral
True. However, if you are like me and are in a job with no advancement (unless I want to be an administrator)...it makes no difference.
Bobg
And I would gladly applaud them as they marched by.
Rodney
(Drink a little coffee today?)
1. WTHell? I have had a family full of truck drivers over the years. I don't recall any of them having sofa issues.
2. 101010101011010101100!!!!!!
3. Ewwwwww! I'll have to tell the math teachers that one.
4. Good luck with that one.
NFO
See, I yoga never crossed my mind. Sex did, but not yoga. Is there still the loud boom?
Rodney
1. True
2. I'm a 5'10" girl, whatever.
Did you hear about the Truck driver that broke his arm when he pulled out to avoid a child... and fell off the sofa.
The pulling out to avoid a child means to avoid 'fathering' a child, which is why its a sofa (could've been a bed). I didn't make that one up, but I just happened to remember it.
The usual amount of coffe and two paczki's
Oh, yeah, well, I missed that one. Well, one of the truck drivers is gay, so that could have been what threw me off. HA! (Don't think he's gonna father a child.)
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