A couple of jokes...

The Slacker:
The Chairman of the Board, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO known as a hatchet man. The new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers, and make a real impression on his first day.
The Chairman takes him on a tour of the facilities, and the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business.
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $500 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $500 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now get out and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
Finally one of the workers raises his hand.
"Yeah?" the CEO demands.
"Pizza delivery man, sir."

Bubba Goes to Church:
Bubba goes to a revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over.
To the preacher's surprise, Bubba gets in line.
It takes awhile, but Bubba is very patient. When it's his turn the preacher says, "It's been a long time since you came in, Bubba."
Bubba simply nods.
The preacher says. "What you want me to pray about?"
Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."
So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while.
After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "OK, Bubba, how's your hearing now?"
"I don't know preacher," Bubba says. "It's not until next Wednesday."

(H/T: Jumbo Joke)