Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Not-so-happy fat guy

It appears that weighing 308 pounds isn't enough for Broderick Lloyd Laswell. He used to weigh in at 413 pounds, a weight he prefers.

Since his September incarceration for fatally beating and stabbing a man (he then set the guy's house on fire), Laswell has experienced deprivation of the worst sort. His Aramark catered meals only amount to approximately 3,000 calories per day. He's so hungry that he's decided to file a lawsuit. It has also really impacted his workout routine, too:

"On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out," Laswell wrote in his complaint. "About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again."

WAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Poor baby. His tummy feels empty. What a freakin' loser!

However, being a wise Professor of Crime and not one of common sense, Laswell then says that the other inmates and he do not get enough exercise; therefore, the weight loss is due to the inmates, "being starved to death." (Gee, did you ever think a criminal would contradict himself?) There is also a complaint afoot to have hot meals served, since only cold meals are served, now.

1. I haven't heard of prisoners starving to death.

2. If I ate 3,000 calories a day, I'd weigh 600 pounds. I can't even eat over 1100-1200 a day.

Another plus? Laswell filed the lawsuit without a lawyer. Heh. What an ass.



Jeffro said...

The last diet I actually tried to stay on was 1800cal/day. I was not an easy person to live with, but the pounds melted off.

As for this assclown, he's lucky to get 3000 cal/day. He's in on murder charges. The more weight he loses, the less electricity needed to fry his sorry butt.

John D. said...

Most inmate lawsuits are Pro Se (the claimant represents himself), as few lawyers will touch a lot of these cases. While some inmates do have a good case, most of the suits are frivolous. As annoying as this abuse of the legal system is to me, I have to admit that the trials are sometimes very entertaining.

RT said...

Given his current weight, I wonder if he'd sizzle like bacon?

John D.
I'd love to just sit and watch these guys plead their cases. Do they allow popcorn in the courtroom?

DBA Dude said...

There are people who would pay good money to achieve that kind of weight loss!