Hold 'em if you got 'em!

And I thought the Salem witch trials were wacky!

It appears that in the congo, sorcerers have been using their freaky magic to steal or shrink men's penises.

Imagine: You go to bed one night a happy man. However, when you wake up the next morning, you are no longer a member of the stand up to pee society.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

See, Hillary causes shrinkage, but all she has to do is look at 'em.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

The hysteria is real, as is the belief that this can really happen to a man (sans Hillary):

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

Dang.

(H/T: Yahoo)