Rejection sucks. I think I've experienced it at every step of my life. From hyper-critical family members, parents who have better things to do (or who just don't want to be bothered), people I've tried to be friends with, and yes...men. I remember once in sixth grade I was trying to make friends with some kids and a girl said, "Sorry, "D" you just aren't our type."
I seem haunted by this ghost of never being good enough or the "right one."
I used to say "f'k" it. I used to pretend like it didn't matter. I'd just harden my heart a little more. After all, I can't let others hurt me anymore, right? Shut them down before they had a chance to see how much they mean to me.
But that fear is probably the one thing that paralyzes me the most.
I wish I could get over that fear and let people see and know what they mean to me. Don't get me wrong, I inch ever so close as to tell people how I feel, but then I stop.
You can only swallow that lump in your throat for so long before it chokes the life out of you.
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9 comments:
Just do it! Say it like there's no tomorrow. Damn the consequences!
If you're rejected then that's not where you want to be anyhow, am I right?
I mean, when I feel that way I stop and think, "Hey wait a minute...maybe "I" don't want anything to do with "them" because they'd have to be pretty stupid to not know I rock." haha
It's true, and you rock.
You're too sweet. :)
I know I said I was going to bed, but I can't sleep.
One of my favourite books. . The Great Gatsby, has this line to the effect of "paid too high a price for living a single dream".
Not everything we wish for, we get. . I've loved deeply only to be rejected for someone half my age and half my IQ, because they were simple, young and uncluttered. I've been betrayed, and I've been disappointed.
I've been scorned for doing what I do. Some old friends who hate everything government, literally refuse to speak to me. I am now the enemy because I chose to stand up and do what little I can do to keep people safe.
I've been shot at, critiziced, and dumped. . yet there is within me a core of resolve that it doesn't matter, because I know I'm worthy of being loved, I'm worthy of the life I chose to live. I won't make my life stop,trying to achieve it. I won't pay that high price of chasing after some elusive thing that may be under my nose right now. I won't be someone I am not, in order to seek something that I already have. I am going to live my life, with the love of my friends and family, and the honour I chose over income.
And I will be happy.
I wish I could think of something good to say.
I love the Great Gatsby. Teaching the book for many years and getting to the core of it has taught me a lot about letting go of the past and trying to not relive it. The more we try, it could be to our own demise, whether physically as in Gatsby's case or in the demise of our spirit.
recection does suck big time i been in your shoes(there kind of tight)lol i been laughed at and rejected my whole life. you grew up in the wrong part of town. you got a wieght problem. your parents are poor. crap like that and i did not have a girlfriend till i got out of emt school. but now i go for it if someone dont like me its there loss. if you judge the book by its cover you miss out on alot thats what i think when i get rejected now. you are an incredable smart woman and i love what you right if someone dont like you because you dont fit there mold of what a pperson should be there nuts and should trade there brians in for a toaster because they are not using it. you rock RT and if they dont want to be your friend you donr need them you can come hang out in my ambulance anytime. we would have a blast :)
"I wish I could get over that fear and let people see and know what they mean to me. Don't get me wrong, I inch ever so close as to tell people how I feel, but then I stop."
Mind over matter, RT.
The people who mind you telling them, don't matter.
And the people who matter, will never mind.
Great Advice AD and its 100% true. the ones that matter will never desert you because you speak your mind, the ones that do aren't worth worrying about.
RT, just remember, the ONLY person you have to please is the one that looks back at you in the morning from the mirror.
All the rest of us are extranious...
Real friends accept us for who and what we are, warts and all. I probably have 4-5 real friends, the rest are pretty much acquaintances.
My tag line in another forum pretty much says what I've decided to do-
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand, pretzels in the other -- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a ride!"
So I'm doing what I want to do, and to hell with the rest of the world... :-)
Thank you all for your kind words and great advice.
I appreciate it A LOT.
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