God's Grace

Thirteen years ago, yesterday, I was in an awful car accident. I was t-boned at approximately 50 mph by a F250 pick up truck. I was driving a little Mazda. My passenger side back seat was completely flattened/crushed. My passenger side front was, likewise. I was just going to the store. I wanted to get a paper to check flight prices for Italy. I used to have a friend that lived in Italy and I wanted to visit him. Instead, I got strapped to a back board and the pleasure of wearing a neck brace. The impact actually ripped my jeans. I walked away from it. I shouldn't have. The next day I went to get my stuff out of my car, well what I could salvage. The guy where my car was taken asked how the driver was. My mom said, "She is the driver." He just shook his head in disbelief. I didn't have any broken bones. My knees were slightly bruised and I scratch on my face. The outward looked fine. However, I had eggplant colored bruising that causes issues today on part of my body. I also hit my head on the metal part that outlines the windshield. I had such a bad concussion that I couldn't remember things from two minutes ago. I worked really hard on my memory and developed memory tricks to get me through college (summa cum laude). However, I haven't fully recovered it. I can tell you as clear as day everything about my childhood and up until the accident. After the accident, unless something really stands out to me or I try really hard, everything is a blur. If I don't do something right away, it's gone. What's weird is that weeks later, it all pops into my head like it was yesterday. It even causes me to sound airheaded because I totally forget what I'm saying as I say it. I have to read everything the kids read every time they read it and then retake notes and re-answer quizzes and tests, because even if it is already done, I have to go through the process. That's why I'm stressed all the time.

I've learned a lot from all of this. I used to have a obnoxiously great memory. Now, I have to be patient with myself and just learn to let go of things when I feel frustrated. It has taught me to be patient with others. If you've ever talked to me and I've "blanked out," now you know my frustration. It's why a lot of my sentences are short, too. I'm trying to keep my train of thought. When I'm tired it is worse, obviously.

Sometimes we have to adjust. I wouldn't have gone to college if it wasn't for the accident. I almost loss the use of my right arm from thoracic nerve damage. I can't really write on the board, since my arm goes a bit numb. But, I adjust and find other ways of doing things.

The past 13 years have been quite a lesson.

**Please note that the picture is not of my car, but that is what it looked like. I didn't want to take pictures. The driver of this car was severely injured and had to be cut out.