Malicious Fabrications: Frankj and a case of mistaken identity

MONGER HORDE: VICIOUS FABRICATIONS
Not only do I have the scoop on how I first found out about Frankj's passion for manatees, but I also have had a conversation with a special woman and thwarted her run for president. Hey, what's the Chief Mongress for?

Chief Mongress=CM
Hillda-Beast=HB

CM: So you want to have a conversation with me?

HB: Yes, I want to know your concerns for our nation.

CM: Safety/terror, Iran, Iraq, North Korea learning to fend for itself, criminalization of Christianity, leaders who don't know how to lead without partisanship and petty whining, taxes...you know the usual stuff.

HB: So you want programs to ease your angst?

CM: No. I want to use a flat tax, not have to line the pockets of people like you, know that my troops are taken care of and have what they need to succeed in their missions...you know...sane stuff that doesn't require people in suits to constantly pass a tax hike or create more red tape to do something.

HB: Um, er, ok then. Do you have any questions of me about what I can offer you?

CM: I really don't care what you have to say. I'm not listening.

HB: Can I make any promises to get your vote?

CM: Yeah. Promise you won't run for president.

HB: But don't you see, if I'm president it will be a historical moment for women!

CM: Condaleezza Rice would be ok in my mind. She has more of my values.

HB: Yes, but I'm married, I have a child. I went from baking cookies to the senate.

CM: Didn't you work for Rose Law Firm and have some shady land dealings? Didn't you have a child for political reasons?

HB: Look how far I've come, though, as a woman.

CM: Does your family respect you?

HB: Haven't you seen my daughter. We've toasted champagne. And my husband just adores me.

CM: Umm...Didn't he have multiple affairs?

HB: Well, look how much power I have!

CM: Yeah...whatever did happen to Foster? What about your healthcare plan?

HB: Well, I know important people. People in Hollywood, people in the media.

CM: Media...hmmmm.....do you know Frankj?

HB: I have never heard of that manat....I mean man.

CM: That's not what I hear.

HB: It was all a big misunderstanding.

CM: Weren't you on a Florida beach with Willy for a photo op when you met Frankj?

HB: Yes.

CM: Did you get into an argument and storm off into the water?

HB: Yes.

CM: Didn't Frankj mistake you for a manatee? Didn't you two, well...you know?

A few days later....

HB: "Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you all that I will not be running for president."

Hmmm....I wonder if she'll be receiving a special Valentine's Day present from Frank?