Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Recently I've noticed a very disturbing trend. Boys in my school are sporting fake tans. In addition to those fake tans, they are sporting the spikey, douche-bag do.

(None of these are the boys in question.)

Why? Most of them are nice boys. Why? I want to take them aside and ask why on earth they are walking around with the pout and the over-stiffed hair. Oh, did I mention the pink shirts and low-rise jeans? Well, at least the jeans aren't falling off, since they are not baggy.

What's next? Eyeshadow and lip gloss?


John D. said...

They sound like junior metrosexuals. All part of the androgynization of America. Sad and pathetic, if you ask me.

Snigglefrits said...

Gag. That's all I can say. Yuck.

Ssssteve said...

Looks like a bunch of Boy George's!! What a bunch of fags!

USA_Admiral said...

Metrosexuals in process; please disturb them.

Anonymous said...

What's next? Eyeshadow and lip gloss?

Next? They're already there. I can't believe you took hot chicks with douchebags, and stripped out the one redeeming quality. The hot chicks.

Good bag hunting though.

Anonymous said...

I wish I was as awesome as those guys...

Anonymous said...

You shouldn't be surprised by the preponderance of scrotal activity in your area. Although permutations of the douchescrote virus have spread into an international pandemic, New Jersey is an epicenter - a bagtropolis, if you will - of tribal tat, frosted hair, forehead grease, and other douche trademarks that make you want to punch a choad in the throat.

Big Bad Wolf said...

This is a situation that can be quickly remedied with liberal application of a wooden baseball bat coupled with repeated utterings of the phrase, "Stop being a douchebag!" timed to coincide with the blows.

On a much more upbeat note, cameras are everywhere and photos of these boys in this phase WILL come back to haunt them.

Just like the ones of me with a mullet...which have since been destroyed.

RT said...

John D
It's like a bad experiment with electricity and a paint can shaker at the same time. Blammo!

Yet, I have to keep a straight face and not ask questions. One student who has adopted the look is just the sweetest, nicest kid in the world. I'm trying to figure out why he did it.

You know, you really need to not beat around bushes and tell us how you feel. You are way too reserved. ;P''''

Imagine how long it takes to get that crap out of their hair. (The cans of Aquanet I used took forever to wash out. I think until 1995.)

Well, I didn't even notice the "hot" chicks were missing. I don't usually notice the chicks, sorry. However, the douche-bag equivalent among the females are the girls who have blonde hair, orange skin, and frosted pink lipstick--the kind that went out circa 1988.

You will be someday! Just eat lots of carrots and pumpkin for the orange skin and drive and listen to dance music. You'll get there; dreams come true.

Yeah, Jersey has tons of douche-bags. Thus, why I don't really care for Jersey. I don't quite fit in.

Big Bad Wolf
I'm afraid the stiff hair would splinter the bat into matchsticks.

I have pictures. Scary pictures.