Thursday, July 05, 2007

Good-byes are really, really hard.

My best friend called this evening. She's just returned from her honeymoon and she and her husband are packing up what is left of her apartment and they are leaving tomorrow morning for her new home on U.S./Mexico border. We both have problems with the whole "good-bye" thing. In fact, when I said it at the end of our phone call, I burst into to tears (well, haven't stopped, really). I cannot tell you how much her friendship has meant to me over the years. We've known each other since we were 12. We've been super-close friends since our early 20's. She's seen me through more than my fair share of broken spirit and broken hearts. I was there for her through similar events. The past three years, when I didn't have the ability to walk or the energy to get out of bed for days at a time, she remained my friend and always at least called to encourage me. In fact, she was the only friend that stuck around after I got ill. This past winter when I was finally able to walk more normal and finally started to feel better, she was there to celebrate my victories with movie nights and lunch or dinner out. That meant so much to me. It also meant a lot to me that she always (and even in tonight's call) told me something nice about myself (because I never believe it). Simply, she is the awesomess (as she would say).

After flaking out a little the past month or so over the prospect of my only and best friend leaving for the other side of the country, I've tried to think of how to be positive about this whole thing. I'll have to get over my fear of flying, because I'll want to visit her. I could also look at this as God getting ready to expand my horizons and force me out of my shell. That is harder to grasp than the idea of me getting on a plane. While I might have a little bit of boldness in this forum, I'm anything but in real life (unless it is a one-on-one situation or if I get to know you). It is time for a new chapter, eh? It is really hard, though. I'm really going to miss her.

Just a note: Next week, I'll be driving to Nashville. I haven't driven outside of NJ in at least three years because I haven't been able to physically stand it. So that's one new adventure! I have no clue what I'll do while I'm down there, but when have I ever lived my life doing things the way they are supposed to be done? I haven't decided whether or not I'm going take my laptop on my trip. I don't think you all would miss me for a week would you?

Well, that's next Friday. I'll think about it more at that point.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd miss you! To bad we don't live near each other, I bet we could be great friends.

Sezme said...

Thanks.

Why can't a single guy say that?

Captain America said...

What the hell do they want to be near the border for???

Sezme said...

He's serving and protecting our country--he's a major in the Army.

The funny thing is--she HATES Mexican food. HA! See, God has a sense of humor.

rachel said...

If you don't take the laptop, please take the camera.

I'd nag more but I'm about to put up the "gone fishing" sign on my blog.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Look into Skype for your long distance. It might save you a few bucks.

John DuMond said...

Sorry to hear that your friend is moving away. I've had to go through that a few times myself. It always sucks.

As for the laptop, FWIW, I vote for you taking it. That way you can keep us up to date on your trip to Music City.

Anonymous said...

Decades ago, the distance would be a barrier. Now days, it isn't.
Friendships do not have a range.

Skul

Sezme said...

Rachel:
I'll definitely take the camera.
Have a safe trip!

JohnD:
Yep, it sucks. It is compounded by untrustworthy former friends rearing their heads, me being "ok" and them proving, yet again, they are untrustworthy.

I'll try to take the laptop. There's only one of me carrying luggage, though.

You all might just get reports from my room (24 hour room service, video games, wireless, starbucks...vacation in itself).

Skul:
Thanks for the perspective. :)

Uber said...

Aw... I have a friend lots like that too, since we were 14 years old. Believe it or not, left on my own, I stay home alone LOTS (even still) and missed her SO much when she married the Army man and took off to Germany. I thought nothing would ever be the same ever again and cried so much! But that was when we were 18 years old (we're 35 and 36 now) and here she is, two divorces later, at my house almost every Friday night (squeezing me in on her way two work because of course there be a new guy in the picture...again haha).
I think with or without men in our lives...it just never changes between best friends, even if it seems that it has for a time. *hugs*

Sezme said...

Yeah, crying lots, especially the past couple of weeks. Crying now, thanks UBER!

I think they'll stick. She's marrying at 38...we're not the desperate type..think that's why we got so used to it being "us" and making jokes about being 90, sitting on the front porch with our shotguns and no teeth yelling at kids. Heh.

I'll be visiting lots and I think she'll be coming here a lot since her family is here.

It's a hurt I don't think I ever felt before, but I know I'm not the only one. Kind of lonesome, though. That's why you guys see so many posts and hits from me right now.

Dionne said...

You'll be missed while in Nashville but I give strict orders for you to have a great time :-)!!!!

Sezme said...

Well, I finally heard from my cousin, but he wasn't offering any ideas of what to do for fun.

If all else fails, there's always shopping! ;P

I'll find something to do.