Good-byes are really, really hard.

My best friend called this evening. She's just returned from her honeymoon and she and her husband are packing up what is left of her apartment and they are leaving tomorrow morning for her new home on U.S./Mexico border. We both have problems with the whole "good-bye" thing. In fact, when I said it at the end of our phone call, I burst into to tears (well, haven't stopped, really). I cannot tell you how much her friendship has meant to me over the years. We've known each other since we were 12. We've been super-close friends since our early 20's. She's seen me through more than my fair share of broken spirit and broken hearts. I was there for her through similar events. The past three years, when I didn't have the ability to walk or the energy to get out of bed for days at a time, she remained my friend and always at least called to encourage me. In fact, she was the only friend that stuck around after I got ill. This past winter when I was finally able to walk more normal and finally started to feel better, she was there to celebrate my victories with movie nights and lunch or dinner out. That meant so much to me. It also meant a lot to me that she always (and even in tonight's call) told me something nice about myself (because I never believe it). Simply, she is the awesomess (as she would say).

After flaking out a little the past month or so over the prospect of my only and best friend leaving for the other side of the country, I've tried to think of how to be positive about this whole thing. I'll have to get over my fear of flying, because I'll want to visit her. I could also look at this as God getting ready to expand my horizons and force me out of my shell. That is harder to grasp than the idea of me getting on a plane. While I might have a little bit of boldness in this forum, I'm anything but in real life (unless it is a one-on-one situation or if I get to know you). It is time for a new chapter, eh? It is really hard, though. I'm really going to miss her.

Just a note: Next week, I'll be driving to Nashville. I haven't driven outside of NJ in at least three years because I haven't been able to physically stand it. So that's one new adventure! I have no clue what I'll do while I'm down there, but when have I ever lived my life doing things the way they are supposed to be done? I haven't decided whether or not I'm going take my laptop on my trip. I don't think you all would miss me for a week would you?

Well, that's next Friday. I'll think about it more at that point.