McCain Says He'll Fight Clinton's 'Pork'...
Hillary's? Will he eat the cracklin's?
Bill's? Pulled pork?
TOWN: $500 FINE FOR SAGGY PANTS...
How much for saggy t*ts?
SHOWDOWN: Pelosi wants to allow lawmakers' adult children to tag along on taxpayer-funded travel -- for free!
Well, you know, the royal family needs to go places. I know, how about we give them some Dom, too.
SQUIRREL GOES ON RAMPAGE, INJURES THREE...
Apparently a relative of this guy.
Motel patron uses Bible to set blazes
Talk about being on fire for God!
Indian man, 73, fails school exams on 38th try
The stereotype is apparently a myth.
Lose weight and get drunk faster: US study
Woooo hoooooo!!!!!!! I'll be an even cheaper date.
Driver almost chokes on bag of marijuana
Ummm, reminds me of...nevermind....we never got caught!
Fla. cops catch man accused of peeping, peeing while wearing lingerie with blond wig
And folks, that is how I met Sssssteve (First with Flair)!
Woman complains to cop about "bad crack"
Det. Wyatt responds, "Sorry, Ma'am. I didn't mean to bend over and pick up my pencil in front of you."
N.C. fines man who switched car from diesel to soybean oil
North Carolina has hippies?
Two Chinese officials jailed after bridge built by blind man collapses, killing 12
Note to self: Even Chinese built bridges are cheap and junky.
(I'll skip the obvious joke...too easy.)
Republican punches Democrat on floor of Alabama Senate
About freakin' time! Apparently the Democrat didn't feel anything: no sense, no feeling.
Lion and tiger kill man on building's roof
Oh my! Was there a bear in the vicinity?
Lumber magnate marries woman who is 62 years younger
Guess he's got some good, pressure treated wood, eh?
Wisconsin woman: Deep-fried testicles 'taste like chicken nuggets'
I always found that . . . oh . . . nevermind.
Polish lawmaker equates short skirts with loose morals, says they should be outlawed
(Insert polish joke here!) Yeah and big feet and big hands equate...IT IS A MYTH, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!
No charges in case of mannequin salesman caught boiling skulls in his apartment
I can't think of a caption for this, but this would make a creepy movie.
Telephone company: Woman's name is too gay
What's wrong with the name Pat MacDyke-Carpetmuncher? (She took her partner's name.) [Wow. I gotta get my butt to church...this is bad, today.]
Bulgaria's last 3 dancing bears freed
Once in the wild, they were beaten and their tutus were hung from the top of a pine tree.
The grind's almost over to forge two perfect balls
Grinding? Perfect balls? Heh...I've heard that one before.
Toddler served margarita in a sippy cup
Finally, a cure for teething and the annoyance of small children screaming in the middle of restaurants!
Man says he found snake head in beans
Ummmm....(I've been bad enough.)
Streaker sets off school extinguisher
Guess he had a "smokin'" bod.
Three-legged dog Jack the Peg saves Australian family
Arrrrrrrrrrgh he be a pirate dog!
UN SECRETARY GENERAL: CLIMATE CHANGE BEHIND DARFUR KILLING...
Seriously, what the heck are they smoking?
Exclusive: Suicide Bomb Teams Sent to U.S., Europe
Again I ask: It is the end of the world and I'm still not good enough? Dang.
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5 comments:
"Wow. I gotta get my butt to church...this is bad, today."
The whole thing or just enough to sit on!
I'm biting my lip and squinting my eyes right now.
Heh...that was funny, though. Hey, those church pews can hurt after a while. Good thing I have my own built-in cushioning. ;P
...salesman caught boiling skulls in his apartment...
"I can't think of a caption for this, but this would make a creepy movie."
That's agood thing RT. I might have to start my own "list".
Skul
That was an awesome laugh riot. Now I can go back to work.
Skul:
Don't worry. Except for the annoying twitch and the drooling, I'm perfectly fine. And I wonder why I can't get a date?
Deathlok:
Really? Thank you. Now get back to work while I begin my NINE WEEK vacation. :)
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