Monday, October 09, 2006

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Having seen and liked the use of headlines by other bloggers, I've decided to steal the idea:

Parents try to unadopt troubled boy
That's what happens when you don't pay attention to the return policy.
(Good thing I wasn't adopted, btw.)

How to give yourself a raise
Wyatt's step-by-step guide to self-fulfillment

Fears grow of Asian arms race
Apparently, legs aren't good enough anymore.

Hemorrhoid cream is not for the face
Unless you are an asshole, of course.

Tacos growing in cheesesteak country
I hear tacos are easier to grow than cheesesteaks.
(There are so many places to go with this one; I'll let you guys do it.)

Want bright, non-obese kids? Let 'em go out and play!
Don't forget to take away the hours of "World of Warcraft," too.

The universe might be oval shaped, scientists say
Now it officially matches the map used in schools. Scientists must have felt bad about the changes that had to be made in the Pluto curriculum.

Cardinals oust Padres
The Vatican must be a rough place. (Cardinal O'Grady gives Padre O'Brien a body slam followed by the figure-four leg-lock.)

Paparrazzi plague Pitt, Jolie's rickshaw
Yeah, because when you want to avoid the paparrazzi, you outrun them in a rickshaw!

U.S. gains in parts of Iraq in Jeopardy
I'll take "there is good news" to be had for a billion!

Earthpark planned for Iowa
Gore's new plan for unsuccessful farms....have people come look at the dirt.

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