Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!!

A week from Thursday, I begin my seventh year of teaching. In honor of the "seven-year-itch," I have decided to channel some humor and try a top ten list of what I can look forward to during the school year.

10. Assignments turned in to me with weird stains and substances encrusted on them.

9. The word "opportunity" spelled "oppertunitie" at least a bazillion times--despite my efforts to correct the spelling. BTW, why do students insist on creating possessives when they want to make a word plural???? I correct the errors, but again...they ignore my corrections. Yes, their grades get lower because of it.

8. At least four notes from parents stating that their children could not finish an essay on time (after given a week, and two of those days in class) because: a pet was ill, the child was ill, a pet died, or because the computer blew up into tiny pieces.

7. Parent emails that state his/her child is different from all the others and needs special attention, special seating, my individual attention after school, weekly or daily emails reporting on the child's progress, etc....this email will come from at least twenty parents. (BTW...I do offer help after school...I've had about five students in seven years take me up on the offer.)

6. The same student will always be absent for all tests, quizzes, and in-class essays. That same student will wait until threatened with a zero to make up the work.

5. I will have at least one student cut class to study for a test for another class.

4. All of my students will have ADHD/ADD/OCD and some kind of barking/mad dog disorder....at least their parents are convinced of it.

3. There will be students who think that sucking up to me works.

2. There will be students who think I hate them because I grade them honestly and try to help them improve.

And the number one thing to look forward to during the school year:

1. Kids who want to negotiate their grades the last day of the marking period....because a "B" shames the family name (actually have had that said to me and it was true).

**Bonus: I will have at least one student copy an essay word-for-word off of another student or piece one together from various websites and turn the essay in to the required plagiarism site. That student will deny any evidence of cheating. Nice.

Of course, these are all "problems" that my counterparts in lower-performing schools would love to have. Truth be told, I'm very grateful for my job. I'm blessed.

4 comments:

Ssssteve said...

What grades do you teach? I don't think I could teach 5-8 grades! Kids are just morons at that age!

And Thanks for the work you do! We don't have enough "right" minded teachers in education these days!

FRIAR said...

yOu remidn me off a teecher i onse had.

RT said...

SSSSSSSteve: I teach high school. I substituted 4-8 a couple of times. One day I had a fourth grader named Billy (even remember his last name). Every five minutes he jumped out of his seat and screamed my name and then said, "Look what I can do." Ultimately, he was a very cute little boy, but I was so glad I chose secondary ed. My humor is too warped and dry for little kids to process. I really enjoy watching my kids mature over four years and love to watch them go on and pursue their dreams. Graduation is a day with so much pride and emotion...too much to describe. I'm most proud of the misfits who find their ways. I was once one of them. BTW-there are a few of us who are "right" minded. We are a quiet club, but it is interesting to hear the the lefties speak thinking everyone thinks and believes as they do...quite interesting.

Friar: Ok..I had to remember you are sarcastic. I just hope I remind you of the teacher who tried to tell you that your writing ability was in need of improvement. :) Some of our best students are kids who started out as homeschoolers. However, my district is within the top ten of my state and we have super-high expectations. We are pretty much college-level in our expectations. It is stressful, but worth all the hard work. The parents are really involved and have high expectations of their children--that is the difference between us and all the other "thems."

RT said...

Let me rephrase that....my school is in the top ten high schools of my state. We have an in-district rival that didn't do as well as us...I need to make that distinction. ha ha