I've wondered just how much I should talk about myself (aside from stupid stuff) in my blog. I don't want to sound or seem self-centered and needy.
I think I'll just talk about the past couple of years, but if you want to know more about me, just ask. Two years ago, I lost the use of my legs. I was bed-ridden for six weeks and had to go to physical therapy three times a week for a month to learn to walk again (muscles went to mush). I had been working two jobs, teaching full-time all day, then teaching four hours in the evening three days per week. I wasn't taking care of myself, ignored signs of a thyroid going to rot, and didn't realize I had a separate disorder that makes me pre-diabetic. My body simply gave out because all of my hormones (not just ones guys get squirmy about) had gone wacky. Up until this spring it was all I could do to get out of bed when I didn't have to go to work. As soon as I came home...I went to bed. My laptop is right next to it, and has become a portal to the outside world at times.
It's been hell, and I feel like a ticking time bomb because both issues caused my girth to become girthier and at risk for a load of stuff. It's been very depressing, quite frankly. I can't just go out somewhere and hang. I can't go to Phillies or Flyers games like I want to, I can't just go to the mall for hours on end, and I can't just go walk on the beach like I want to.
BUT...things are getting better, and hopefully, I'll be able to do those things when spring blooms again. I managed to walk around a grocery store for an hour today. My limit is slightly over. It is not that I don't have strength; I was able to ditch the cane last summer. Because I was so wiped out from everything until this past spring, all of my lower back/upper leg muscles don't have stamina and cramp up a bit.
BUT....things are getting better. I'm becoming more agile, my overall health is improving, and I'm beginning to lose some of that much unwanted and unneeded gain of girth.
Today, for the first time in two years, I was able to go to school and do some heavy lifting and work. Then, to be able to go shopping afterward was an even bigger plus. (Not to mention that my foggy brain is clearing, too.)
So hopefully, I will soon be blogging about my adventures. A lot of life has passed by me the past two years, but I hope to more than make up for it. So until then, my blogs probably won't be so exciting and will probably have to do with school, since that's my life. If I can resume my love of photography soon, maybe I'll provide some nice shots.
Now back to my usual drivel: So today...after realizing I have five preps (lots of planning over the weekends), I decided to numb myself with Chinese food again. My fortune cookies were odd:
"We are great together."
"It tastes sweet."
How weird and so not fortunes! Usually I get "Your love life (yeah, the non-existent one) will be harmonious and full of joy/laughter." "You will be showered with good luck."
So, we all know the joke. If you add "in bed" to end of the two fortunes I had today, they are actually good/interesting fortunes. :)
Thank you for reading all of this. I know it is long-winded. I always enjoy reading all of your blogs and getting to know y'all. Hopefully, I haven't bored you all to death. Hopefully I'll fun adventures and many milestones to report-soon.
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6 comments:
"I don't want to sound or seem self-centered and needy."
Puh-lease! That's the official motto of SYLG!
I think that reading blogs is way to find out more about the world than just what happens to the famous people. What the MSM thinks we want to hear.
I'm already wondering what the symptoms of a "thyroid going to rot" are.
Who knows. What may seem to you to be acting self-centered and needy could help one of your readers.
And meanwhile, I'm rooting for you. I'll look forward to your post about your triumphant return to meandering around the mall more than hearing from the MSM that some celeb did a concert/movie opening in some foreign country. You'd win, hands down.
You WILL make it, and you will go out dancing under the stars...on the beach even! :)
Earp: I thought your motto was, "You have the right to remain silent."
Rachel: Thyroids can go to rot in varying ways and degrees. Mine, had been on the decline for a while, but I wrote the symptoms off as a severely broken heart,
9-11, and mondo stress levels from working my job (eventually two jobs). Lethargy, depression, really super-dry skin, dry eyes, carpal-tunnel-like tingling, foggy-brain/can't concentrate, gaining weight and not being able to lose it (zero metabolism). A couple of other symptoms I had that have their roots in my body trying to work up enough energy to make it through the day was massive appetite and really strong cravings for salt. I'm the 13th on my dad's side to be diagnosed with some form of thyroid disease. Nice...all from my grandpop's mama. The gift that keeps giving. At least I didn't get the crazy gene. Anyway. It is advised, as far as I know, that women in their mid thirties should get a thyroid test, anyway. I think the tsh level should be a 3..I had tested higher as much as ten/twelve years ago, but it was an accepted number at that time. I'm not a doctor, so I'm not claiming any end-all, be-all knowledge. I also have something called PCOS. I won't go into it; don't want to scare the men-folk (it is the hormonal issue I alluded to). BTW...I can use all the good vibes sent my way. Having both problems is f*****d, to say the least.
DL: Your lips to God's ears. I used to be a very good dancer, very limber, and very on-the-go. I want to be "her" again.
RT, your blogging friends here will never be bored by what you write. Especially when you have the bravery to open up like that about yourself! Amazing! I will be praying for you that God will give you the strength and determination to get through this! God bless!!
Steve:
Thank you. What y'all don't know is that I am an "evangelical" (not to be confused with a nut-job) with quite an edge (don't pretend to be perfect and can't stand those that do..that's a blog of its own). Anyhoo...I'm beginning to think I should re-read Job. Twelve years ago I was t-boned at 50 mph and developed thoracic outlet syndrome and was told to find another line of work or lose the use of my arm. I went to college...(I'm a senior year high school drop-out/went to live in L.A. w/ a band)...gotta 3.75 gpa, ended up in a stellar school district, and then this. I trusted God then and he gave me a college education...He must be setting me up with something really awesome after all this. I keep three pieces of scripture in the back of mind at all times: Psalm 37, Nahum 1:7, and Jer. 29:11.
Going through all of this has been very isolating. I have only been to church once the past year and a half because of the fatigue and pain...now I don't go because I've gotten out of the habit, I guess. However, I think I've learned a lot about God by staying away from "man's wisdom" for a while. Geez...I just keep running at the mouth. :)
Thank you all for being my blogging buddies. It is appreciated more than y'all will ever know.
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