HEADLINES!

1. Girls Gang Blows Up Houses With Homemade Bomb Over Boy
I bet he feels special. (morons)

2. San Francisco may offer street yoga
Given the street yoga people are more bendy, I bet they steal business from the street walkers. I smell a turf war.

3. Romance lives at Riker's Island.
Just yesterday, Bubba and Bruce had a lovely ceremony.

4. Driver gets in wreck, sees his home catch fire, gets ticket
That just sucks. No funny there.

5. Mystery deepens as 4th severed foot found
I wonder what happened to the remainder of the bodies. Creepy. Stay away from Vancouver, B.C., folks.

6. In final stretch, Clinton says 'I still believe I can win'
Meanwhile, her shrink is making a mint off of her!

7. Studies link lead to adult crime, brain damage
Ummm....and?

8. La Scala to stage Gore's 'INCONVENIENT TRUTH'...
See # 7.

9. TODAY: Sex doesn’t matter, until it’s gone
Again, I say, "DUH!" (Yeah, uh, trust me on that one.)

10. The last headline isn't posted because of humorous purposes. I'm posting it because it is one of the sweetest stories I've read in a long time. Click on the headline to read the story.

Del. Students Raise Money For Teacher's Trip Home