A LITTLE HUMOR

I used to love watching the show, Father Ted. I don't know how many of you have ever seen it, but here is a portion (in two parts) of a show. Btw, please say a prayer for my former student. He is in Peru. It might be a while before I hear how he and those he works with are.

Part 1:


Part 2:

HEADLINES!!!!!

1. Canadian team discovers gene that turns cancers off...(H/T: Global Mail)
Now, this would be an answer to prayer!

2. SEX MARATHON: Russians get day off to procreate, then win prizes...
Another contest I wouldn't win.

A Russian region of Ulyanovsk has found a novel way to fight the nation's birth-rate crisis: It has declared Sept. 12 the Day of Conception and for the third year running is giving couples time off from work to procreate. The hope is for a brood of babies exactly nine months later on Russia's national day. Couples who "give birth to a patriot" during the June 12 festivities win money, cars, refrigerators and other prizes.

(H/T: Denver Post)

This is after I read this a couple of weeks ago: "Sex for the motherland: Russiam youths encouraged to procreate at camp..." Yeah, Putin isn't a threat. Damn.

3. Lightning strikes man twice
Rumor has it that he has an electrifying personality.

4. Tardy Edwards keeps Iowa supporters waiting in heat; hour-and-20-minute delay...
Any girl knows what a pain it is to blow dry and style her hair in the hot, humid weather. It just takes longer.

5. Cops: Boss killed two who kept asking for raises...
Guess he won't have to worry about making payroll, now.

6. Viking ship lands in Ireland after nearly 1,000 yrs
Beowulf said to be pissed about his men's lack of direction.

7. U.N. okays 26,000 peacekeepers for Darfur.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to send cardboard cutouts?

8. Burglars use "Mission Impossible" moves
Soundtrack inlcuded?

9. Missing 75-year-old says prostitute held him hostage
Apparently when he consented to s-n-m, he thought she offered him m&m's. He's since learned to turn up his hearing aid.

10. Pelosi following Hillary's lead? Cleavage on the House floor?
Ow, my eyes!
Kennedy: "Madam, I move to motorboat! (hiccup) I mean, would you like a ride on my motorboat?"

11. Dog shoots owner in the back in Tennessee
The pooch just couldn't take one more day of Milk Bones when all he wanted were some Snausages!

12. AMTRAK offers free booze
Just thought I'd share this as a public service announcement.

13. Sean Penn praised by Venezuela's Chavez
Mr. Pennnnnnn, you dick!

14. Murtha nabs $150 million pork
Typical. A politician spends millions on a ham.

15. Gingrich says energy war on terror "phony": Former speaker says energy independence is key
Someone please put him back in the home. PLEASE!

16. Foot and mouth disease detected in UK
In related news, foot in mouth disease is at epidemic proportions in D.C.

IDIOT OF THE DAY

Another failure in the world of thieves.

V-J DAY

We can never say "thank you" enough...

The papers proclaimed our victory.

Joy was expressed in the best way we know how: kissing and eating (That is an actual V-J day pig roast)! Well, there were the celebrations.

There are the stories of those who served. However, in all of the celebration, we must remember those who died. We were charged to never forget. Sadly, I think we are forgetting...a lot of things.

WOW! DOUBLE WOWIE ZOWIE!!!

I just got an email from a former student. He was the jock. Got all the girls...more than he needed, so I hear. He had the attitude and thought he could charm his way out of any situation (and usually did). Something told me to pray for him, though.

I prayed during our class period (and sometimes when I'd see him or his girlfriend--prayed for her, too). I prayed that he'd give his life to God and serve God. This was the type of guy that would never do such a thing. In fact, most people didn't hold him in very high regard because of his behavior. I still prayed, though.

So, back to that email: He's a missionary when he could have done anything with his life. He's got plans to become a minister, too.

I'd say that is an answer to prayer. I'm proud of him and I am awed by God.

I was going to do a post about prayer and how it is lacking in our country these days. I saw a clip of Ronald Reagan talking about a Bible verse his mother's Bible was opened to during his inauguration:

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I needed this, tonight. Sometimes we feel like our prayers and the needs, hopes, and dreams we give to God in those prayers don't get any further than the ceiling. I've been feeling that way the past month or so (ok, the past three years). God is there, really He is.

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!

I've decided to take a trip into Philly. You want to go, too? Ok. (Again, what do y'all want for free? Don't answer that question!)

Parking is really expensive, so let's take the train to Philly; shall we?

I'm hungry and feel like doing some shopping. Let's go to South Street. I'll take you to the punk store where I used to shop. No. I've never been to the condom store. I did blow a kiss to the tranny in the window one night. He/she didn't like that too much and he/she shot me the finger.

Phildelphia is special. It is full of resourceful people who like to make music.

Ok, here's a less cynical view of Philly.

If we are rowdy enough, we might run into Wyatt while he's on the job. I think he got confused with the whole "undercover" detective thing. Wyatt manages to make friends wherever he goes--well, his uniformed brothers--not so much.

Yeah. We can stop by and visit with the good Captain. We'll have to catch the Captain in between calls, though.

Then, on our way back out of Philly, we can go be accosted by drunken mummers and "comics."

Ok. Time to go back to Jersey. Maybe next time we come over it will be for a parade!

Hope you had fun! :)

I'm bored.

So. I did my nails. Yes, they are mine. Crappy photo; but hey, I'm bored and this is free. What do you want for nothing? Huh? Scully--see the bent pinkie?

Here's a Metallica video. The one I wanted to play had a girl flashing her boobies. We can't have girls flashing their boobies.

A TRIBUTE TO "THE KING"

I can honestly say that this song has never been, nor will it ever be "dedicated" or sung to me. HA!

SUNDAY SONG

Band: Third Day
Song: When the Rain Comes

Some funnies!

I found these church bulletin bloopers. (H/T: The Good Clean Funnies List)

The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse.

"Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: 'Lunch will be gin at 12:15.' Please correct to read '12 noon.' "

Any church member over the age of 18 is invited to participate in this lay ministry program. It requires a minimal amount of training and time. The orientation will include six weekly classes of about 200 hours each Tuesday night.

The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Meat and drinks will be furnished.

The last day of Vacation Bible School will include a field trip to the state game farm. We could use some additional volunteers to help preparing the lunch of sandwiches, potato chips, cheese, crack, and cool aid that morning.

Remember the youth department rummage sale for Summer Camp. We have a Gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order.

NOTE TO SELF:

When buying a lottery ticket...

DO NOT USE A STOLEN CREDIT CARD! IDIOT!

MEET MY FUTURE HUSBAND!

HA!

Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

I totally suck in all that is of the dating world. So when I saw this quiz, I thought I could use a good pick up line (not that it would ever get used). So, go find yourself a pick up line and try it on your significant other.

Your Pickup Line Is

If loving me is wrong you don't wanna be right!

The Magical Pick Up Line Generator

THE DEATHLOK 10,000

Deathlok is nearing 10,000 hits. Go make him feel good about himself. That is all.

GREAT SCOTS!!

I was reading Scully's blog, Skywritings and noticed that she mentioned she's half Scottish. Since I'm half Scottish, I decided that I must absolutely add her to my links list.

She's smart, witty, and has way more fearlessness than I'll ever have.

Go by and say, "hello."

UBER GOES TO NYC!!!

Uber, (who I would link, but her site it kerplunky) has bestowed upon me the fun task of blogging her trip to NYC. I'll be calling her in a couple of days to "interview" her. As part of that Q & A, I'd like to include questions from you. So, think up a question and leave it in the comments. I'll be calling her sometime, Sunday. She'll prep the answers Monday and Tuesday.

I hear she's gonna see the nekkid cowboy! Yeee haaaa!

CAPTION CONTEST!!!!!

What better way to begin my second year of bloggy goodness than to have a caption contest! Well, I would have had one, regardless. HOWEVER, this week you will have a choice of two pictures (you may caption both, too). Have fun! I will post winners Tuesday morning.

PICTURE #1 (Hill D'Beast)

PICTURE #2

OTHER CAPTION CONTESTS:

• Bagel Blogger (I took 4th place this past week!)
• Bullwinkle Blog
• Cowboy Blob
  
• Deathlok
• Gone Rick Motel (I WON this past week!)
  
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• WILLisms
• Wizbang
• Wyatt
  

THE WINNERS!!!!
Picture #1

5. Jim @ Parkway Rest Stop: Hillary cuts a "silent-but-deadly."

4. Redneck: Hillary--in getting ready for the NOW convention-carefully tucks her penis.

3. Vincent Antonelli: Fearing that showing cleavage on the Senate floor wasn't enough to show her feminine side, Hillary decides to show us all her "O-face."

2. Wyatt: "Rosie, your fingers are cold!"

And the winner of picture #1 is....

1. Deathlok: Sadly, Hillary's "Ooooo, me so horny" impression did NOT go over big with the Chinese Ambassador.

Picture #2

4. Gollum: Of course, if Herman wanted to feel her boob, he'd have stuck his hand down her pants.

3. Redneck: Redneck, circa 2050

2. Scully: Britney & Kevin: CHAOTIC-The Golden Reunion

And the winner of picture #2 is...

1. Dragon Lady: "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."

UMMMMM.......

Reminder: You can't spell-check a tattoo.

DREAMS

Having a dream about someone from your past, who really hurt you, can make your day really sucky. Just thought I'd share.

BLOGIVERSARY: AND THEY SAID IT WOULDN'T LAST

Almost two years ago, I started reading Wyatt's blog because of a link provided by a local paper. A year ago, I had a dream that I started a blog. The next day (a year ago today) I started up my blog. What did I have to lose, right? Well, I certainly haven't lost anything, I've gained. (Well, I've lost weight.)

I've gained some bloggy friendships with some funny, kind, twisted, and like-minded folks.

You all have thrown good thoughts and prayers my way when I needed them. You all have made me smile and giggle with your comments on my blog and with your posts on your own blogs.

I want to say more, but I'll just get too sappy. I just want to thank all of you, sincerely, for visiting with me and taking the time to converse.

I just want y'all to know that I appreciate every one of you very much.

In fact, I salute you! (HA!)




Three posts that mean a lot to me, not in any real order:
A post that talks about love.
A post about someone I love.
A post about the profession I love.

By the way, today is Wyatt's wedding anniversary. Go remind him how lucky he is! :)