God's Grace

Thirteen years ago, yesterday, I was in an awful car accident. I was t-boned at approximately 50 mph by a F250 pick up truck. I was driving a little Mazda. My passenger side back seat was completely flattened/crushed. My passenger side front was, likewise. I was just going to the store. I wanted to get a paper to check flight prices for Italy. I used to have a friend that lived in Italy and I wanted to visit him. Instead, I got strapped to a back board and the pleasure of wearing a neck brace. The impact actually ripped my jeans. I walked away from it. I shouldn't have. The next day I went to get my stuff out of my car, well what I could salvage. The guy where my car was taken asked how the driver was. My mom said, "She is the driver." He just shook his head in disbelief. I didn't have any broken bones. My knees were slightly bruised and I scratch on my face. The outward looked fine. However, I had eggplant colored bruising that causes issues today on part of my body. I also hit my head on the metal part that outlines the windshield. I had such a bad concussion that I couldn't remember things from two minutes ago. I worked really hard on my memory and developed memory tricks to get me through college (summa cum laude). However, I haven't fully recovered it. I can tell you as clear as day everything about my childhood and up until the accident. After the accident, unless something really stands out to me or I try really hard, everything is a blur. If I don't do something right away, it's gone. What's weird is that weeks later, it all pops into my head like it was yesterday. It even causes me to sound airheaded because I totally forget what I'm saying as I say it. I have to read everything the kids read every time they read it and then retake notes and re-answer quizzes and tests, because even if it is already done, I have to go through the process. That's why I'm stressed all the time.

I've learned a lot from all of this. I used to have a obnoxiously great memory. Now, I have to be patient with myself and just learn to let go of things when I feel frustrated. It has taught me to be patient with others. If you've ever talked to me and I've "blanked out," now you know my frustration. It's why a lot of my sentences are short, too. I'm trying to keep my train of thought. When I'm tired it is worse, obviously.

Sometimes we have to adjust. I wouldn't have gone to college if it wasn't for the accident. I almost loss the use of my right arm from thoracic nerve damage. I can't really write on the board, since my arm goes a bit numb. But, I adjust and find other ways of doing things.

The past 13 years have been quite a lesson.

**Please note that the picture is not of my car, but that is what it looked like. I didn't want to take pictures. The driver of this car was severely injured and had to be cut out.

Random stuff and shopping with RT.

At the end of each summer, if I have a few dollars left over from what I so carefully pecked away at all summer, I go shopping for some things I need. So today I went to Target. It was an eclectic day: bedding, pillows, chocolate, popcorn (gonna watch a movie tonight), nightie, a watch (keep breaking them), and some cosmetics stuff. I noticed a few things, as I am an observant person. Parents tune out their kids a lot, don't they? There was one cutie with his mom. He was looking at the lunch bags and apparently the one he was looking at had an iPod holder/case thingy. I kid you not, he looked like Waldo without the greased up hair and his mom really looked like Waldo's mom. His voice had an Alfalfa-like quality to it and I was waiting for him to break into song to Darla (lucky little girl). "Mom, isn't this cool? I mean it's got an iPod holder; if I had an iPod, I could put it in this iPod holder. Mom? Isn't this cool? I could have my lunch and listen to the iPod at the same time." I love to watch kids try to manipulate their parents. Kids always think they know what they need when they need it...much like us with God. Remember how frustrated we'd get when our parents said "no" or worse: WAIT? Ugh, I hate that word. Sometimes things are worth the wait, though. I hope that kid gets his iPod and the really cool lunch bag with the iPod holder. I'm sure he'll be appreciative. Seeing others get what they have waited for always gives me encouragement.

The other random stuff? Heh. The Phillies are sucking me in! They have me by the heart and they are sucking me in, and I'm waiting for yet another broken heart. But like any other dreamer...maybe they won't break my heart this time.

I remember during the 1993 World Series, I was driving around Northeast Philly (Tyson Ave./Princeton Ave. area, Wyatt and Cap'n.), with my sunroof open, listening to the game. My stomach in knots just hoping and wishing, but secretly knowing that they'd break my heart. They always do. Then the pitch: Out of the park and Phillies' season was over. I said a few colorful words. There was a dull pain all over Philly for a few days and then I remembered, there are always the Flyers and the Eagles, and the cycle will repeat itself, and it has. They are human, given to winning and defeat. They will get our hopes up (and their hopes), and we will eat Tums the entire ride. I'm enjoying this Phillies team. I watch a lot of the games, especially the lovely SWEEP of the Mets. But I think the classiest play all year showed them as decent human beings.

And since I'm such a weak, easily influenced person, I bought some Guinness to try for the first time. Hey, it got a smile at me from a guy who walked up into line behind me. At least I think it was the draught.

CAPTION CONTEST

Have fun! I'll post the winners Monday evening (by 10 p.m. EST...time to go back to school). Have a safe and fun holiday weekend.


OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bagel Blogger
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel (I WON this past week!!!!)
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• WILLisms (Scroll down a bit, but enjoy the recap of favorites as you do so.)

WINNERS!!!!

6. Dennis: Are you ready for EXTREME Counterinsurgy maneuvers now Private Pyle!!!!

5. Scully: What happens when Coach Crennel tosses a coin to see where the Browns summer training camp will be.

4. Rodney Dill: Packers go to extreme measures to get Brett Favre in shape for one more season.

3. Cowboy Blob: Now, Private Maynaaaaard, as much as I admiiiiire your aggressiveniiiiiss, you wiiiill refrain from biiiiting the dummiiiiies during bayonet driiiiills. Have I made myself cleaaaaar?

2. Wyatt: President-elect Clinton unveils Hillary-armor!

The winner is.....

1. Deathlok: YOU WILL SECURE YOUR HELMET!
YOU WILL GET IN THE CANNON!
YOU WILL MANEUVER AN AERIAL ASSAULT ON THE ENEMY!

You know what today is?

It is a SPECIAL kind of cat blogging day!

WINK, WINK.

A joke

I've got nothing, today. So here's a joke I found at Comedy Central. Hope it doesn't offend anyone. I thought it was kind of funny.

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

(Oh, and I'm not taking the Chinese class. It costs more than I thought and it turns out I'm not really going to have the time I thought I would.)

Three more weeks!

The Flyers open camp in three weeks! A lot of the players are skating already, too. I'd say things are looking really good, too. For example, new Flyer, Kimmo Timomen is looking pretty good.

That's one, fine Fin!

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

MY MOM GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!

A little laughter is always good for the heart.

All the headlines fit to print...

1. 'Big Bang' theory pioneer Ralph Alpher dies at 86
So, what do you think he said when he met his "maker"?

2. Study: Chick Magnets Today Look Like Cavemen
And this is news, how?

3. Man accused of biting girlfriend's snake
Well, that's a switch.

4. Church Deacon, OU Fan Tears Scrotum Of UT Fan In Bar Fight...
Guess he put the fear of God in the guy, eh?

5. Woman traps thief in back seat of car
Really, I thought he said, "I want you honey." I didn't realize he was saying, "I want your money."

6. The latest in film publicity? A barf bag
Finally, a great place to advertise Tom Cruise's next film.

7. Tunnels to prevent carnage of Canadian salamanders
The little known hockey team always seems to get squashed.

8. Beethoven's doctor may have killed composer accidentally
"Bom, bom, bom, bom."

9. Sex quenches thirst of female beetles, study finds
I'm feeling kind of parched.

10. CBS sending Couric to Iraq, Syria...
Wow. CBS is really looking to get rid of her contract, aren't they? That's cold.

Pimping a contest

Redneck has a caption contest for the next few days. It's all about FRED!

Planning

So, I'll be up at school the next couple of days getting myself up to speed, so that when 1600 kids come flowing through the doors next week, I'm ready.

When I was mentally preparing what I need to do the next few days, I remembered that my birthday is in about three months. I have an idea of what I want to do, but it would be kind of boring to do by myself (that thought crept in after getting all excited about it).

Anyhoo, my birthday is on a Saturday this year, so that means a weekend of possible excess! Yeah, I let myself get into the "excess" zone a bit here and there. Got any suggestions? I need something to look forward to these days.

Just trying to be creative.

Ok...fill in the blanks. Have fun. I tried to be specific enough for things to make sense, but vague enough to allow you all to have elbow room. You can use more than one word in the spaces if you need or want to do so. Hey, at least it isn't a limerick. ;P

There once was a guy named ____________.
He liked to ____________________.
Once, when he ______________ he found out that he _____________.
And that put an end to ____________________.

PS...My mom has a job interview tomorrow.

A tale of a boy and his kick ass dog!

Runs and eats meat!

A few days ago I read an article about the T Rex being able to outrun Beckham. At first I wondered why Beckham was used, except that the article would get attention because of his name being used. Why not the fastest (although roid-laiden) runners? Also, given that the T Rex was a carnivore, why would it want to outrun Beckham? Wouldn't he be sweet to eat?

I prefer this T Rex, though:



Music is my balm, people. :)

A SONG FOR ME!!!!!!

What? Were you expecting this fantasy driven song?



HERE are the winners for the caption contest.

That's a lot of money for some...well, you'll see.

Someone paid $9600 for THIS! Let's see, what can I sell for $10,000?

Good things

While I've been so pissy and a real whiner lately, I do take stock of my blessings. I have a good job at a great school, I know God loves me, and I have a brain that can and will be used when I feel like it. I also have friends, bloggy and otherwise that all bring something valued and appreciated into my life.

I drove my mom around to pick up job applications and stuff, today. Then, I took her out to an early dinner. When we walked in the hostess went on and on about my new hair-do. That made me feel good. But then, when we were leaving, I was making a left turn at a light and a guy checked me out! WOW! That hasn't happened in a long while. I even smiled at him. Maybe it was the cool hair and shades. :)

Ok, so there is this song that I love when I want a good laugh. I totally forgot I was going to buy beer today (been craving it) and so...this is the next best thing. (Yes, I was once this obnoxious.)

Not the mommy!

I had a true light bulb moment during my weekly lunch with pops. First, you need to know that I was already upset that I'd overslept and missed church. Now, if we combine the utter desire and need for me to go to church and not going, my mom still not getting a job, and the lunch I'm about to illustrate, you might get an idea of why I'm so contemplative lately.

Dad: How was church?
Me: Didn't make it.
Dad: Is it because of how they want you to do things?
Me: No. Couldn't sleep.
Dad: Nerves?
Me: Yep. (I think that is our code word for don't wanna talk about it, but things are on my mind.)
Dad: Well, you work through it in your way, right?
Me: [In my head] No friggin' choice, do I? (Well, I'm tired.)

During lunch we had a waiter that could barely understand English, let alone speak it. He was also new, which meant he did not know the menu. And my mom can't find a job. And this is all I can think about. Tears well up.

So my dad gets his usual fish dish. He nearly chokes about five times, because of bones. He complains to two of the wait staff and the hostess. He asks me if fish is supposed to have bones. I answer, "You didn't order a fillet." Does he carefully eat his fish? No. He shoves in huge pieces and then complains that he keeps finding bones. I had to tell him to be a little more careful, so that he could pick out the bones. Then it hit me as I looked around the diner. This is my life. It is an endless dance of don't hurt my mom's feelings because she'll shut down, and gingerly deal with my dad because of his cognitive issues. Don't try to convince him that contractors don't just come out to the house to install a door and don't burst his bubble when he says that they'll come out to the house when they say they will. Different week, same conversations--over and over and over again.

I told my mom a couple of months ago that she has until June to get her act together. However, having to get a new car means...get your act together sooner. I told her I wanted to move out and have a life. She said, "You can't leave me."

Yet, I'm an only child. Do I just leave them? I've been struggling with that question for a few months. Well, really more than a few months. I haven't had to really make the decision to leave because I haven't had real opportunity, yet. So, I could always put off the thought or make excuses.

Then I'm sitting there today with my dad. I'm wondering, "Is this my life?" It's not like I can divorce my parents and leave them in my memories. I also love my parents and don't want to hurt them.

I took the very long way home and then took my mom out for a little while because I just couldn't bear the thought of going into that apartment. I didn't want to go home.

Then when I finally got home and finally forced myself to go up the stairs into the apartment I thought, "This doesn't have to be my life. Maybe if I actively do something rather than waiting for my mom or dad to actually be, well, adults and parental, I can have a life."

So, most of the night I've been vacillating about whether or not to yet again, whine. But, there is a point to my whining. I'm going to do something with my life. I've decided that in June I will leave NJ. I don't know where I'll go, but I need to leave.

I feel like I am abandoning my parents and from a Biblical view, I really, really feel like that is what I'm doing. However, it also says that parents aren't to exasperate their kids. I think it is time we all grew up. Chances are they will follow me wherever I go, but isn't that the point? I should be out getting my life, now and they can catch up with me.

I can't be sitting in the same diner, just another Sunday. I can't be pleading with my mom to go out and look for a job.

A year from now I want them to see me have a life and to actually be really living.

FORTUNE COOKIES!!!

I had two fortune cookies today:

Soon you will be sitting on top of the world.

and

You are soon going to change your present line of work.

Now combine those two with the one I have taped to my desk at work about being showered with good luck and the one I walk around with in my purse (think it is still there) that talks about a harmonious love life, and I'll have some hope, perhaps.

Sad songs...

Big White Hat has challenged us to think up the saddest song we've heard. Personally, I can't make it through the first verse of this song without tears watering up my eyes.

Who's hotter?

Wyatt has a "who-is-your-celebrity-match" thing at his site. Scully got Colin Farrell and I got Justin Timberlake. While JT is cute, he's a total poser. However, Colin Farrell is just plain HOT! (They both have screwed Brittney---ewwwwwwwww!) While Scully hasn't weighed in on JT, she says that Mr. Farrell is too scruffy. I like scruffy.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

COLIN FARRELL

It's funny, kind of

It is funny how your own words can come back to haunt you.

With all my talk this week about faith and struggles, this is kind of a kick in the butt.

YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!

No, I'm not the "lyrical Jesse James." (Where do I get this stuff?)

I found a place I can send my mom to find a job! (It's getting that bad, folks.)

SUNDAY SONG

This is not my usual "quiet" type of Sunday song. This is a "goin' to meetin'" get up out of your seat kind of song. You will notice some confused faces in the crowd. They are probably Baptist. I grew up seeing that confusion, as I was raised that to clap or be excited in church was not a good thing. Don't say I didn't warn ya. I love this song and the singer is one of the best around.

Singer: Russ Taff
Song: "Ain't No Grave"

Marry well, sweetie....

People laugh when I tell them that my IQ, ability to speak well, and my ability to write have suffered since I started teaching. Welcome to my world.

Guess what I'm gonna do?????

I'm going to sign up for a non-credit Chinese class!

I can't wait. Once a week for two hours isn't bad, and I will be able to understand what goes into the language so that I can figure out how to help some of my students to understand English better.

Coolness!

Seriously, well, not...

I've been kind of serious the past few days. Yeah, I've got a lot on my mind. However, that doesn't mean I still don't have my sense of humor:

This is an example of a tattoo that I would NOT find hot. Just so ya know.


Apparently, spelling the word "Center" with an "E" gives this establishment that little extra bit of class! It's a shame that the owners didn't think about the name a little longer.

A matter of faith

The media is making much of Mother Teresa's perceived lack of faith. They quote her questioning her faith in letters:

"Where is my faith? Even deep down there is nothing but emptiness and darkness. If there be a God--please forgive me."

Her struggles led her to fear that she would be a hypocrite. I have heard stories of missionaries and ministers who dedicate themselves to work hard and do as they feel called, only to never experience the "fruit" or results that they had hoped for as an idealistic servant of God. But, I have also heard stories of the seeds sown by them becoming the fruit of long-held faith once those missionaries had passed or retired. It happens. Sometimes we never see the fruit of our labor.

Throughout the past three years I've been in a tug of war of sorts within the faith I have in God. I deeply believe that He is real and that He guides my steps. I've prayed for months for a friend and I am seeing those prayers answered in what appears to be the positive for him. However, my mom continues to be out of work for almost three years, I still have things that I pray for myself that seem to not get answered. But...I know I have to continue to believe. I've seen too much and have had prayers that were unlikely to be answered, answered. We have to look at the everyday and minute things as well as the big things.

I think people are focusing on the wrong thing with what Mother Teresa's letters revealed. She was a human being. While wise and devoted to her calling, she had times of weariness. She saw much despair and had to be impacted by it. She did what we all do; we question. If we didn't question, then we wouldn't need God. We'd have no need for faith. That's what I think her letters reveal.

I struggle all the time. Sometimes I think God has me in this never ending holding pattern. I get really frustrated, as y'all saw this week. However, I know what I pray for and how I see God putting things in my life, heart, and prayers to keep me going. That's why I share my answered prayers with you all. He's real. His timing is not our timing (grrrr), but it is so His will is done, not ours. It is so He can receive the glory and honor...not us. I look forward to sharing many more answered prayers.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Pimping a petition

Sssssssssssteve at First with Flair has a quick read about a soldier whose house was destroyed by a fire. The soldier's family is getting by while he is in Iraq. Go sign a petition via Steve's site so that the soldier can get an extreme makeover. Go, now. That's an order.

You also might want to pimp this petition so that as many people as possible see it and sign it. Just a thought.

Hot as Hades!

Tomorrow is supposed to "feel" like 100-105 degrees. (Really, may I please flee from this cruddy state and its cruddy weather?) Anyhoo--just like a couple of week's ago, I am thinking about going to the movies to escape the heat.

Here are my choices:

• Mr. Bean's Holiday
• Superbad
• War

Maybe I'll do all three.

ONLY IN PHILADELPHIA...

CAPTION CONTEST

Have fun! The winners will be up for you all Tuesday morning. **The answers to the trivia questions are posted.

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Picking the winners for this week's contest was t-o-u-g-h, tough! Thanks for playing, and see you again Friday.

6. Ssssteve: Putin: "Johnson" put that away! You crazy comrade you!

5. Rodney Dill:
"G4?"
"Crap! you sunk my battleship."

4. Wyatt: "The Crazy Commies" look crestfallen after losing the World Risk Championship to a guy who lives in his parent's basement.

3. Cowboy Blob: Hey, Vlad, is that crack "Don't get involved in a land war on the Asian landmass" supposed to apply to us too?

2. Scully: The planning committee for the proposed Kazakhstan Disney point out the newest additions. . .Never Never Profit Land, and Paris Hilton - The Ride.

And the winning caption is....

1. CUG: And while many of us are well-guarded, powerful, murderous dictators, for our safety, we all need to stay out of this war zone, here: It is called, Philly.



OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bagel Blogger: (Scully and I tied for 1st place this past week!)
• Bullwinkle Blog (I received an honorable mention this past week!)
  
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• WILLisms
• Wyatt
• Wizbang
  

HEADLINE HUMOR!

1. When a $3 candy bar is . . . worth it
A. When you have PMS
B. When you are feeling amorous
C. All of the above
(Yeah, I said that!)

2. Crowded House reunites for tour, album
Deathlok just choked on his skinny tie!

3. Obama hits back on charge of inexperience
Unfortunately, he chose to sing about his frustrations.

4. Wrens with little help lay larger eggs
So do Democrats...

5. States petitioned on ocean acidification
Dude, the dolphins are just following the pretty swirls and trails.

6. What kind of man are you dating?
Ummmmm...an invisible man?

7. IRAN'S ROUGH JUSTICE: 80 LASHES FOR MAN WHO DRANK AND HAD SEX...
Well, maybe he likes that kind of stuff.

8. Bare-chested photos of Putin create stir
Yeah, hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllll!!!!

9. Seniors having more sex than you think
Yeah, baby! Ben gay, walkers, and Viagra! Woo hoo!

10. Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis
Geez! Did she get confused and think she was having a weenie roast?

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

First, I'd like to thank those of you who spent a lot of time, off the blog, talking to me last night. I had a moment of great weakness. It happens once in a while and I try to not bring it to the blog, but...I flaked. It happens. I'm human.

Again, thank you. I appreciate you all very much.

So, today was a day of pampering. I got my hair dyed a richer red with blonde, chunky highlights AND I treated myself to a pedicure. I haven't had one done in a salon in almost three years. I've done my own, don't worry. I am a beauty school dropout.

I've decided that despite my "flake" that I'm going to continue to just give God those areas of my life to Him. I think that's why I flaked. As my friend would say, I just gotta "hush" and be still. Allowing others control of a situation...even God, is hard.

So it must be, though.

Here's some humor for the day:

My biggest fear...

Rejection sucks. I think I've experienced it at every step of my life. From hyper-critical family members, parents who have better things to do (or who just don't want to be bothered), people I've tried to be friends with, and yes...men. I remember once in sixth grade I was trying to make friends with some kids and a girl said, "Sorry, "D" you just aren't our type."

I seem haunted by this ghost of never being good enough or the "right one."

I used to say "f'k" it. I used to pretend like it didn't matter. I'd just harden my heart a little more. After all, I can't let others hurt me anymore, right? Shut them down before they had a chance to see how much they mean to me.

But that fear is probably the one thing that paralyzes me the most.

I wish I could get over that fear and let people see and know what they mean to me. Don't get me wrong, I inch ever so close as to tell people how I feel, but then I stop.

You can only swallow that lump in your throat for so long before it chokes the life out of you.

Behind the mask...

Ambulance Driver has the most heartfelt post that you all MUST read. Halfway through, I was crying my eyes out. Never mind, why...I just was. Seriously, read it. Now.

I think this song is fitting to AD's post (really, read it). I'm gonna go cry some more.

The race to 10,000

It is Scully's turn to hit 10,000 hits! Go visit her and be awed by her writing talent. Personally, I think I might have to take up the art of shooting at a target. That looks like fun!

*I'm glad Scully is on our side. (That's her target.)

UBER'S BLOG IS BACK!

Go visit Uber and give her some long overdue hits!

Also, a Q & A about Uber's trip is just a click away!

My guilty pleasures...

Wyatt gave us a glimpse into his guilty pleasures, today. This topic makes me have to think really hard, and all that action inside the cranium kind of hurts this time of the year. However, I was able to muster up a few things.

I love old movies. Detective movies, suspense, westerns, musicals, or comedies--you name it, I love them all. I love the affectation used in old movies. I love how beautiful women were made to look with their gorgeous costumes and glamor. The men are men and more times than not, save the day. In some cases, the men and the women are equals, well before militant feminism had its way with our society.

One of my favorite "series" of movies is The Thin Man. I really enjoy the banter between the characters of Nick and Nora Charles. Nick is suave, funny, and smart. The character of Nora is just as witty and smart. I heart this couple. Every time I think I'll be able to buy the box set of the Thin Man movies, something comes up...but, one of these days I will and that will be a nice long weekend of curling up under my favorite blanket and watching movies.

Aside from my chocolate addiction (which I need to stop), I'm not really a sweets person. I really like salty stuff. In fact, I love olives stuffed with garlic. Also something I love, but hardly ever eat are salt bagels with cream cheese and tomato. Dang, that is yummy! The weird thing is, you will almost never catch me adding salt to food, though. Yummy tip: To make your watermelon taste even better, sprinkle some salt on it. You will never taste sweeter watermelon!

One last thing, I feel I can share with you all is that I love doing things for others, anonymously. I don't even always have to see a reaction or know an outcome. Sometimes I do little things for teachers or students. Other times, in the past, I've had someone slip someone some "help" with their bills. Those things have always brought me the greatest pleasure.

What are your guilty pleasures?

TIME FOR TRIVIA!

Did you know? If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!

Now, it is your turn to answer some trivia.

1. Nearly _____ in ____ workers in teh U.S. has at some time been employed by McDonalds.
A. 1 in 6
B. 1 in 8
C. 1 in 10
D. 1 in 20

2. In what movie does Steven Spielberg appear as a clerk? Blues Brothers

3. True or false: In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant.

4. The average human will accidentally eat about a/an _______ in weight of insects over the course of a lifetime.
A. ounce
B. half pound
C. pound
D. gallon

5. The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of _________.
A. variations of Kerry's flip-flops.
B. varieties of products sold by Heinz.
C. varieties of combinations of ingredients used to get the final ketchup product.
D. varieties of pickles the company once had.

I'll post the answers Friday evening. Have fun!

STUFF

Redneck has a caption contest for the week. Go put in a witty entry.

My results for this week's contest are posted...scroll down a bit.

Mom's job interview went well. Think good thoughts.

I'm watching NASCAR on a Tuesday. Now, I'm going to get confused and think it's Sunday. It will happen; trust me.

WELL, THAT SUCKS!

When I'm feeling a bit melancholy, I search for stuff to show me that my life isn't a total suck-fest. I think I found someone who might just have a suckier life...at least for now.

IS IT TIME, YET? PLEASE?

I am jonesing for hockey so much that I am now watching clips of mic'd players and fights. Why does hockey start well into September? Eh? Dagnabit!

Oilers Players mic'd

This was a fun night!

I'm ready!

MOM UPDATE:

My mom has a job interview with a for-real big insurance company tomorrow morning. Ok, everyone...PRAY!!!!!

UBER'S TRIP TO NYC!

1. Vincent Antonelli: Compare and contrast the smell of the subways in NYC with the smell of...well...anything.
The only thing one can rationally compare and contrast to the smell of a NYC subway is, well, another NYC subway!

You haven't experienced a bad smell until you've entered a subway station just off of China Town, right beside a fish market, just after they've sprayed everything down (which just stirs up hellish smells). The smell of fish that sat in the sun all day + 120 degree subway station = The Uber saying "Hell no, I gotta get out of here. It's not like he's even all that famous!" upon walking right into a pre-production scene of The Frog King starring Joseph Gordon Levitt and being begged by the liberal to stay and watch awhile. I'm pretty sure Mr. Levitt heard me, too. Oopsie. Whaddyado? It stunk, and the subway did too. (RT to Uber: I have been to that exact station and have smelled that smell. Blek!)

2. Ssssteve: Would you trade the hills of NC for the buildings of NYC? Interesting question! Back in the horse and buggy day (OK, more like hair and heavy metal), I dreamed of a career in Graphic Design, an apartment in NYC, and planned to totally PWN! Madison Avenue, but minds change rather quickly when we have children. So, it was interesting to see what I missed and I must say that while NYC is an awesome city to visit (though all good things are tempered with roaches), absolutely not!

3. Did you see the nekkid cowboy? I looked everywhere for that elusive nekkid cowboy! I very much wanted to have a discussion with him about the danger of false advertising because he's not really nekkid at all. He should call himself "The Undie Cowboy" instead! I'm sure he heard through the grape vine that I would be arriving to discuss this issue and hid out, big chicken, because I never did actually find him.

4. What did you find the most visually stimulating? That's easy (especially considering I never located that "almost nekkid" cowboy). St. Patrick's Cathedral. Bee-u-tee-ful!

5. Did you go to the Hershey's store? I did not. I'm more the spicy than sweet type. I did, however, have a fascinating conversation Filipino woman on a train who said that was the first place she visited when arriving stateside. She purchased tons of the stuff but had no idea that it melted so easily so left it all in her car in the hot sun for many hours while shopping afterward. She informs that it still tastes "vetty vetty good" even after it loses all semblance of shape, though. Ha!

6. Did you see a show? Do sidewalk performers count? How about odd subway dwellers and/or cross-dressers? No? OK, how about people I actually know performing "Grease" at an amphitheater in WV before ever beginning the trip to NYC?

7. What impressed you? What impressed me most was just how courteous and friendly New Yorkers really are outside the heavy tourist areas (you know, when not sandwiched between large groups of people in plaid shorts staring up with their mouths open and blocking their paths on the way to work).

8. What gave you the heebie jeebies? Other than roaches taking over the entire city once darkness fell and rats jumping from the pier to retrieve trash by light of the moon, I'd have to say walking those three blocks from the subway station back to the apartment in the Bronx, well after midnight. I suggested the liberal try to get a little sun before the next trip because his glowing attracted way too much attention there! Of course he said my using a long "I" where none belongs in addition to the word "reckon" every two seconds wasn't doing much to ensure our safety either. (Don't worry Uber, I use the long "I" where it doesn't belong, too. It is the Canadian influence on me (or I've watched too many hockey interviews.)

9. What was your favorite part of the trip? The laughing and mocking everyone and everything, including one another and ourselves, on the elevator ride up to our host's apartment each night/morning after a long day of holding it all in, just to discover on the very last night that a hidden video camera in that elevator (behind a corner mirror) had been recording every single moment. The liberal was looking pretty rough after having walked 50 miles all over NYC in the sun, and so he decided to mess his hair a good bit more, put his face up to that "mirror," imitate my accent and say, "I aint got no place to sleep." No idea why that was so darn funny, maybe because the camera was installed in order to better keep the "bums" out of the building, but it still brings tears.

10. What "NYC" food did you eat? I ate at various Chinese establishments from China Town to the Bronx, pizza and cheesecake in Little Italy, bagels all over NYC, a burger containing more than a half pound of cow just to irritate a vegan liberal friend of the liberal (go figure, huh?), and even had a philly steak and cheese at The Trailer Park. Yes, I had to go on a diet two whole days before I left! (Uber, it is called a CHEESESTEAK!!!!)

11. English teacher-like question: Describe NYC with five adjectives. Why did you pick those adjectives? Romantic- Because there are all sorts of experiences I imagine would have been incredibly romantic were I not touring with a gay liberal who has the uncanny ability of causing me to laugh like a hyena while walking a pier by moonlight despite soft Italian tunes on the breeze because funny things constantly happen to him (and yeah, it's way funnier because he's a liberal and life tortures him). Example- He survived the streets of NYC, subway stations, trains, 2 am walks through the Bronx, and my getting through a heavy security zone with a boot knife strapped to my thigh just to have a butterfly fly right into his eye (hard enough to cause temporary blindness) at a park while viewing the John Lennon memorial (where he MADE me go listen to hippies sing about peace) just before we left. Haha! I just can't get enough of this stuff. Extreme- Everything from the heat, to the cold, to prices to meal and desert portions are extreme in NYC. Nothing seems to be made to enjoy or detest in moderation and that is both good and not so good at the same time, depending. Many temptations, baby! Isolated- Not only do many seem to be isolated in their own little individual worlds, but it is very easy to be sucked in and forget that a whole other world exists outside the city. A world in which citizens actually assimilate and eventually become Americans! Frivolous- You can find just anything you are able to dream up in NYC (much like the internet) except a bottle of water and a rest room when you most need them. Basic needs, people! Blunt- Everyone in NYC seems to be very blunt. They don't even say "bless his/her heart" to cushion insults! The horror...

RAIN

Have I mentioned that I like rain? I especially like cool, rainy days. I love the rhythm as it hits the roof and the gutter. I like the sound on the windshield and the swish of the windshield wipers.

There are lots of days when I need the warmth of the sun, but extended periods of rain never seem to bother me much. The rain feels comforting or cozy in a way. I wish I had a fireplace. Then, my rainy day would be even better. For now, I'll go curl up under my favorite blanket, turn off the noise, and listen to the rain. My best naps happen on rainy days.

NOT a Sunday song...

Instead of a "Sunday Song," I want to post a song that really hits my heart. There has been a lot of bad news the past few weeks. Luckily some of you have "someone." Don't take it for granted. Take some time to appreciate them.

A NOTE ABOUT THE HEADER

I know you all notice that I change my header picture a lot. I'm going to put pictures of what seem, to me, to be Americana. When I can't find stuff, I'll put up my pretty nature pictures, American in their own right.

I think I'm going to stick with the quotation for a while. It speaks volumes. We are all works in progress.

IN DEFENSE

I was bullied on a regular basis pretty much from second grade on up through high school. In fact, my neighbor's brother, a high school wrestler, taught me some take downs and my dad taught me how to fight at a very young age because I needed to defend myself. In fourth grade some kids were throwing firecrackers around and I snitched. Oh well. I was scared and 10 years old. The next day four boys from the grade above mine beat the crap out of me. I managed to get some shots in and not cry until I was about a block away, but it set the tone for high school. I was bullied a lot in high school. As a result, I hung out with people that weren't from my town. That constituted more harassment. One time a couple of guys, while we were in the smoking section, threatened me and did some physical stuff to me (won't go into it--think human wishbone). They threatened my friends from the other town, too. What happened? When the guys from my town chickened out at meeting the other guys from the other town at "the mall," one of the guys came down to take on my school. Our cops gave him an escort to the town line. (I am leaving out some details for brevity, but I was quite the outcast.)

So anyway, I just had all those flashbacks when I saw this clip. My cousin's cousin (other side of her family) is a brown belt in judo. She was so bad-ass that her husband, a MARINE, wouldn't mess with her. She ruled that roost. Heh. Maybe I should have taken some judo lessons.

PEOPLE, WE'VE GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

I am so tired of people walking around life clueless and without the attitude of looking out for fellow man. This is UTTERLY disgraceful!

Because we wonder...

I always wonder what makes a "normal" person become so radical, especially an American. This is an interesting, quick read about such a man.

I HAVE SOME WORK TO DO.

I found this on Ambulance Driver's site via Wyatt's site. Good blogs, visit them!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	4.5
Mind:	5.1
Body:	3.4
Spirit:	8.3
Friends/Family:	1.9
Love:	0
Finance:	4.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

CAPTION CONTEST!!!!!

Have fun! The winners will appear Tuesday morning, like magic! ;P

OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bagel Blogger (I took 4th place this past week!)
• Bullwinkle Blog
  
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel (I took 3rd place this past week!)
• Right Pundit (I took 3rd place--and Scully took 1st place this past week--yay, Scully!)
  
• Rodney Dill
• WILLisms (Make sure you scroll down.)
• Wizbang
• Wyatt
  

THE WINNERS!!!!

5. Vincent Antonelli: John Edwards, at a speech for the National Organization for Women, talking about the size of his package - health care reform package, that is!

4. Skywriter: "Remember, America: If you vote for ME...one less lawyer!!!!"

3. Deathlok: "I wanna be a cowboy...and you can be my cowgirl..."

2. Wyatt: "So, I got a facial and a no-polish manicure, then I skipped out on the bill!"

And this week's winner is:

1. Big White Hat: "Gee, my hair smells terrific."


Thanks to everyone who entered. I have fun reading the entries. Choosing winners is very hard. :)

Somone might need this:

I sent this to a friend, tonight. Just in case any of you might need it, here's a verse that might give you some comfort. :)

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

The remainder of the passage (that wasn't sent): 29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I'm adding this one for me:

Jeremiah 33:3: “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”

FLASSSSSSSHHHHHHHBACK!

Attn: Bloggy Friends!

Go find out why Scully's house isn't selling. Also, tell her a joke or something. I've decided to give her some stuff to give her a smile.

In case you are wondering....these are pictures of Oregon: Right--Oregon coast with some plane action.

Below left: Some more plane action with Mt. Hood in the picture.








And no girl should be without a box of ice cream with some
chocolate added for extra goodness!

MY HOPES HAVE BEEN DASHED!

BBC America promised me a mismatched pair, today. In fact, it was supposed to be a "heartwarming mismatched pair." When I clicked on it all I saw were dvd's of programs seen on BBC America. I was hoping they would show me something that would give me hope. Eh, no such luck. However, I did get an offer for a "Lovers package at a discount price" from some people with Viagra to peddle! Good times! Oh wait. Darnit!

Well, at least I got some chocolate ice cream, today. Oh, I got a birthday postcard in my email, too. Considering my birthday isn't until December, I thought that was mighty thoughtful of the complete stranger.

You would not believe...

I get several hits a day for this picture. Crazy!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I'm in a cranky mood, today. Not so much pissy and mean, but just cranky. I didn't sleep well last night, I can't think of a decent post for today, and I still have a ton of stuff to do. Yes, I'm procrastinating on that stuff. I'm not very motivated.

I have an idea. I'll write down things I wish were happening right now:

1. I wish I was enjoying some chocolate.
2. I wish my mom was at work, earning money to support herself.
3. I wish I had the winning lottery ticket for a 100 million dollars!

Hmmm...what would I do with 100 million dollars? Well, after taxes I'd have 50 million dollars.

• I'd get out of debt, get my mom out of debt (did that once already)
• Buy mom a new car and a her own condo/townhouse so that I could buy my own house with lots of land (note to self: hire landscapers)
• Quit my job immediately
• Buy some health insurance
• Take a year off from life and get healthier and in shape
• Take the music lessons I've wanted to take for friggin' years
• Start that scholarship fund I've always wanted to do
• Do something for the elderly
• After that year...decide what I want to do with my life
• Oh, and I'd get a dog (the cats will get used to it)

I think I'll go buy a lottery ticket and some chocolate, now.

**Just got an email from my former student. He's ok.