SOME FUNNY

Here's one of my favorite comedians. I put quotes of Mitch Hedberg in my header once in a while, so enjoy. If you don't have my sense of humor...oh, bloody f'n well. ;P I think I'm stealing an idea from John D.

What a country!!!

Ok, so I'm writing under the slight influence of beer and crankiness. You know what? The same thing that is just so utterly amazing about our country and how it stands the test of time is also the most grrrrrrrrr, too. Now Al "you-don't-have-to-pay-me" Franken has decided to quit his day job and run for office...senator...whatever. So. I have never found Franken funny; in fact, I always kind of wondered who he was schtooping or what pictutes he had on someone to get any fame at all. Talentless dork. Anyway, do you think the good people of Minnesota want THIS as their next senator? Hey, I know "Gopher" was a politician, but at least he had some brains.

Don't get me started on Biden. He'll just implode within a week or so. I'd love to see a psychological study done of him and his ego. It would be thousands of pages in length.

While I'm at it, how about England take those terrorists they've caught, behead them (hey, they've got the tower for it), and show it on the internet? Turnabout is fair play.

I'm going back to my nice cold beer, now.

COMING ATTRACTIONS!!!!

I have nothing today. I'm feeling the gloomy bleck of winter. I thought I'd share some things I'm looking forward to seeing in the next couple of months. I hate winter more and more each year. Well, maybe I'll have a snow day, Friday. That would be cool! Feel free to share what thoughts (or whatever) are getting you through the lack of sunshine. :)

Do you remember your first?

Do you remember your first concert? Mine occured Jan. 29, 1985 at the Philadelphia Spectrum. There I was a mere 16 years old, standing at the front of the line. The one cool thing my mom ever did? She got me out of school early to get to the concert. It was a general admission concert which meant, get to the front and you were assured of "front row" status. I ended up about third row distance and my feet were not touching the ground. The crowd swayed to the left and to the right. I was little freaked out since the tragedy at The Who concert was prancing through my mind. It also didn't help that the guy I went with decided to tell some freak on massive quantities of some substance and ready to foam at the mouth that I wanted him real bad. Ugh. So then he started doing what creepy guys do at concerts and I said the magic words to get out of there, "I'm gonna puke!" It was like the Red Sea parting for Moses. I stayed within third row distance, but I moved to the side a little which worked out great. I could breathe, my feet were touching the ground, and creepy-guy was out of reach of me...well he was trying to touch me. Ewwwwwww! Twisted Sister opened up for Maiden. It was an awesome concert and in the end, I wound up hooking up with my best friend and we got to see the encore together and jam. I miss him sometimes. Anyway, after my "trying" experience, he spotted me just before the encore and grabbed my shoulder. Let's just say he had to duck an elbow as I turned around...I know how to take care of myself. He was lucky I had quick reflexes. His beautiful face was spared my wrath. So... here is a song from that evening. Enjoy the bit of history and adventure.

Flashdance gone bad!

What is with the emasculation? HUH? I don't get it. Why does this guy look like he was inspired by Flashdance in a bad way? (Is there a good way?) More and more I am noticing that men are being turned into women. It has been a slow turn. Yes, I know I drooled over guys with eyeliner, but they were still very much men....trust me. However, why are these designers designing prissy frocks for the guys? Damn Europeans! I don't even want to know what these guys are waxing, either.

A headband? On a guy? Is this Olivia Newton-John's video for "Physical?" Dress the men in jeans that fit, with shirts, not blouses. Whatever happened to flannels? Biker jackets? Leather? Ugh! (Sure, Deathlok, laugh at me for thinking Billy Lane is hot, but at least he looks like a freakin' man!)

Sorry. I like real men and this picture just set me off...it isn't even a joke anymore. These freakin' wack jobs are making men into women. Look at the boy...vacant look, no soul--just like last week's picture. They better not start dressing women like K.D. Lang, either, dangit!

Hillary is to singing, as nails are to blackboards

Everywhere, dogs are howling! I'd say, "Keep yer day job," but I don't want that, either.

Movie review and other nonsense...

I was supposed to see Stomp the Yard this afternoon, but my friend had a bride meltdown because of her parents and their vision for her wedding. I keep trying to tell her to elope, but she's not having it. Anyhoo, we decided to sit and talk for a while before the movie, so we decided to see Night at the Museum. Yes, I know it is a kiddie movie, but it was funny and kept my attention (didn't bore me). If you have little ones around 5-10, I think they will really find it fun. There is a fun twist involving Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, and some other guy I recognize, but don't know his name. I laughed a lot and so did my stressed out best friend, so the movie accomplished its task--entertainment. I enjoyed all the M & M commercials, too. Plenty of inside jokes to be had during that period of the previews, but I won't go into it here, sorry.

After the movie we headed out to Panera for dinner and then we went to two stores. Y'all have no idea what it means for me to go out two Saturday evenings in a row and be able to have the stamina to do lots of walking. I even went grocery shopping. To top everything off, I was able to get rid of two pairs of jeans today--because they are too big!

Feeling human again is a nice thing. I feel like I'm waking up from a long nap.

Step away from the keyboard!

Sometimes I have to admit I that I am just plain idiotic at times. I hate reading directions and when I am tired enough and trying to find something on my computer, I tend to just push some buttons that look good at the time. Looks can be deceiving. In my can't-get-to-sleep ridden state last night I decided that I'd try to clear some photos off of my computer, when I completed that easy task, I decided that I'd try to reestablish my connection MSN. WHY? Well, I wanted to send something to one of my friends and that something is easier for me to send when sent by my MSN email. My MSN hasn't worked since I had to get a new hard drive and I had come to accept that MSN was gone. Afterall, I didn't just want to push buttons willy-nilly and do something stupid. Well, stupid came-a-calling last night and I opened the door. I must have been lonely. So, to make a long story not-quite-short, I have no internet access on my laptop. My network connection is toast (for now) and I somehow pushed the right buttons to restore any internet connection to my desktop computer. I'm sure there is an easy fix, but I'm too stupid to know which button to click when I should not have been "pushing buttons" in the first place. Just thought I'd share my idiotic behavior so you could laugh. :) Risk taking and curiosity are not good traits to have when you have a computer sitting in front of you.

Guess what I am!

You Are a Strawberry Margarita

You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you... It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple!

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Is it wrong that I want a margarita for breakfast? Just asking.
I think the end of the Strawberry Margarita description has me pegged, but you'd have to get a few drinks in me to find out. ;) But then that would mean y'all would be corrupting me.

I've got the weiners!!!!!!

I know I'm late with my decision as to which caption best fits this picture, but it was a hard choice and I wanted to allow for your entries.

The top ten captions are:

10. Roland: "That's my purse! I don't know you!"

9. Skul: "Are you sure it's male, and do you think its embarrassed being seen like that?"

8. Dragon Lady: "Pants! Don't leave home without'em."

7. Pinhead: "Do these pants make muscles look big?"

6. Fmragtops: "And here we have Nigel, the bastard love child of Harry Potter and Mary Poppins."

5. Wreckse: "And now please welcome our new member, Sassy Spice!"

4. Wyatt: Model: "Why won't Ssssteve stop staring at me?"

3. Sssssteve: "But Michael, I am only 12 years-old, and my friend Wyatt sends his love, XO XO XO"

2. Wyatt: Seigfried and Roy off camera: "Check out the unit on that guy!"

1. Captain Den: "$1500.00 an hour to shave my balls and wear stretchy pants. Can being manhandled by Richard Simmons be far behind?"

I might do this again soon, so store up those snarky comments!

FRIDAY SILLINESS

In other silliness, a true story from one of my classes, today (It's a little off-color, but I couldn't help but laugh.):

Student A: "My friend was telling me about a friend of his that was trying to get busy with his girlfriend."

Student B: "Yeah!"

Student A: "They didn't have a condom, so he wrapped himself with plastic wrap."

Student B: "I wonder what his girlfriend said."

Student C: "I'll have that sandwich to go!"

A PANDERIN' POST!

I wish I could figure out how to get the RT Tube screen up on the post. Grrrrr...Chuck Norris doesn't need a screen with his face on it; he reaches through it and pulls you into the monitor. Yeah, I know, totally lame--bite me!


FEEL FREE TO PROVIDE YOUR OWN! NOT A CONTEST, BTW.

It's not a fluke!

Seven days ago I posted about how well I felt. Well, to be honest, I thought it would last a couple of days and then I'd feel like crap again. Guess what!?!?!?! I still feel awesome! No fatigue, no general funk, and no leg pain. WOW! I have not felt this good in almost three years. I'm finding it easier to eat like a rabbit and I'm losing weight. In fact one very kind lady at work said, "(my name), you look great! Whatever you are doing, keep doing it." That was so nice of her. It is all relative, of course. You could meet me on the street, not know me and think I look like crapola, but then I'd just "f" you anyway. (I digress.) The next thing I plan to do is join a gym. There is a "retro" gym around the corner from me that has tons of cardio equipment (gotta start small). They even have a room where you can do a workout while watching a movie from the '80s. Now how awesome would that be after dealing with the actual Breakfast Club at school, all day!

I just wanted to share. I know I whine every so often, but as my best friend said tonight, "The old (my name) is back." So it is another movie plus a trip to the mall for some nicely scented stuff this weekend.

Keep praying for me...I've got a long road ahead of me, yet. :) God is good.

Don't forget there are a couple of contests below. I'll wait to post the caption contest winners until tomorrow night.

Running with the devil...

Apparently, Fidel is recovering so nicely, that he is almost jogging. WOW! I thought Lazarus beat the odds!

So, if Fidel is just about ready to go jogging, what else can he do? You tell me. Personally, I think Fidel will be joining Che for a long, hot sauna in the deepest reaches of the lovely resort, Lake of Fire, located in the Pit of Hell. But, I tend to use my imagination too much.

I'll post the winners Sunday night..really, really late.

Good deeds and eye candy

I finally finished all of my grading and planning. I can come out to play again. In my dream world where I can have any cool, funky hair cut/dye job and ragin' clothes I want, and not worry about being professional, I'd have this guy on my arm. Well, he does good deeds for the troops. He's creative. He's mad smart. Ummmmmm....he'd scare my relatives. Yeah. I haven't given them a good scare since my chain wearing days.

I'm gonna go take a really cold shower now.

Just to add to the "yummy," The Cult. I can't believe this song is almost 20 years old. Dang.

IS IT ME?

Is it me or is this world swirling closer to the drain? I'm armed with my life vest and my Tylenol PM, but geeeeez, could we please have a break in the craziness for a little while?

Iran makes me scared and really, really insanely angry at the same time. You just can't predict what crazy people will do. I should know, I have a few in my family.

Iran (North Korea, China, the whole entire world) makes me want to curl up. (Yes, I am a wuss when I feel overwhelmed by crap.) However, now we have a new Christ figure walking about: Tommy-boy Cruise. Puhlease! I can't wait to see this one. I have my Christ and that is what matters. He died and rose from the dead without Hollywood special effects, thank you.

Just so you don't think I'm completely overwhelmed and wanting to drink lots of booze to escape from life (well, I did ALMOST buy some beer tonight), a volleyball-like spike "in your face" op/ed about Hilldy-beast and liberal views of the war by VP Dick's daughter has been written.

Malicious Fabrications: Frankj and a case of mistaken identity

MONGER HORDE: VICIOUS FABRICATIONS
Not only do I have the scoop on how I first found out about Frankj's passion for manatees, but I also have had a conversation with a special woman and thwarted her run for president. Hey, what's the Chief Mongress for?

Chief Mongress=CM
Hillda-Beast=HB

CM: So you want to have a conversation with me?

HB: Yes, I want to know your concerns for our nation.

CM: Safety/terror, Iran, Iraq, North Korea learning to fend for itself, criminalization of Christianity, leaders who don't know how to lead without partisanship and petty whining, taxes...you know the usual stuff.

HB: So you want programs to ease your angst?

CM: No. I want to use a flat tax, not have to line the pockets of people like you, know that my troops are taken care of and have what they need to succeed in their missions...you know...sane stuff that doesn't require people in suits to constantly pass a tax hike or create more red tape to do something.

HB: Um, er, ok then. Do you have any questions of me about what I can offer you?

CM: I really don't care what you have to say. I'm not listening.

HB: Can I make any promises to get your vote?

CM: Yeah. Promise you won't run for president.

HB: But don't you see, if I'm president it will be a historical moment for women!

CM: Condaleezza Rice would be ok in my mind. She has more of my values.

HB: Yes, but I'm married, I have a child. I went from baking cookies to the senate.

CM: Didn't you work for Rose Law Firm and have some shady land dealings? Didn't you have a child for political reasons?

HB: Look how far I've come, though, as a woman.

CM: Does your family respect you?

HB: Haven't you seen my daughter. We've toasted champagne. And my husband just adores me.

CM: Umm...Didn't he have multiple affairs?

HB: Well, look how much power I have!

CM: Yeah...whatever did happen to Foster? What about your healthcare plan?

HB: Well, I know important people. People in Hollywood, people in the media.

CM: Media...hmmmm.....do you know Frankj?

HB: I have never heard of that manat....I mean man.

CM: That's not what I hear.

HB: It was all a big misunderstanding.

CM: Weren't you on a Florida beach with Willy for a photo op when you met Frankj?

HB: Yes.

CM: Did you get into an argument and storm off into the water?

HB: Yes.

CM: Didn't Frankj mistake you for a manatee? Didn't you two, well...you know?

A few days later....

HB: "Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you all that I will not be running for president."

Hmmm....I wonder if she'll be receiving a special Valentine's Day present from Frank?

I'm stealing an idea! Watchya gonna do 'bout it?

CAPTION CONTEST!!!!!! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM!

I saw this picture of a model in leggings from a recent fashion show in Milan and so many snarky remarks ran through my mind. Mind you, I'm a girl who once drooled over men that wore make up and spandex. Although, I preferred the leather pants and tattoos. (Don't worry, I know the '80s are gone.) Well, I digress as usual. I'm going to keep this up as a contest until Wednesday and post the winners sometime Thursday. I have a lot of grading and stuff to do the next few days for the end of the marking period, so I'll be visiting y'all, but I won't be posting. Have fun!

They matter

I was going to write a post about how truly amazing the movie Dreamgirls is, but after wandering around the news-oriented sites, I've decided that something is way more important. Something so important that I don't really care about Hillary and her millions, Barak and his hype-machine, the press and their licking of politicans' boots. I don't care about who is divorcing, marrying, boffing, or having children with whom in Hollywood, or anywhere else for that matter. I don't care that the O.C. has been cancelled or that the Eagles won't be playing today. Something way more important has happened: We lost 25 of our soldiers in Iraq on Saturday. We have soldiers that get injured or die somewhere on this earth on a daily basis. That is the real stuff, what is important. They have families, lovers, children, friends, and others who care about them deeply and now there is a missing part in their lives. A piece that can be imitated, but never replaced for a sure fit.

Keep those people in your thoughts. Trust me, Brangelina is not worth our brain cells.

What mythological character are you? I'm a...

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Pimpin' on the Ponderin'

In my quest to spread my lack of creativity everywhere, I have composed a post on Prison Break Central that matches song titles to characters. If you can think of any to add to the funny or profound (loosely used, of course), then have at it. You need to click on the link now, or Wyatt will have some kind of spaz attack. You know he's good for it.

SWEET!

I had a great day today! I was so totally alert and not exhausted. My legs didn't even hurt. I'm a human barometer, so the weather hits my legs. I didn't feel any pain. A little stiffness, but no pain! :)

Oh, but it gets better! This morning, I was putting on a pair of slacks that I haven't worn in a month and I put them on without the zipper and buttons undone. It is nice when clothing gets too big. It is a nice excuse to have to buy new clothes.

Also, the past week or so, I've noticed that my shoes are no longer snug, which means I'm not having some of the swelling problems I've been having. Guess what that meant? New shoes! Girls love new shoes, but these new shoes weren't just any new shoes, the ones I had been wearing I bought just before I got ill, so they are a width larger than what I bought today, so that means my shoe size went down, too. I was beginning to walk out of my shoes.

Then!!!! IT SNOWED! It was the happy snow that you don't have to worry about too much.

So, I'd have to say that I had a very good day! I experienced moments of extreme happiness; it has been a while.

We need some humor!

There seems to be a ton of bad news. Bad weather causing a lot of hardship, injury, and death. The craziness of the world, in general. People betraying the trust of the public and of those that trust them on a personal level. Just a lot of general yuck!

Drudge had the best video on its site, today. It will make you laugh. It does have some language that sensitive ears might find offensive (not a whole lot, just a Red Forman type).

I think Wyatt will especially like it. You know he misses the wagon.

This should have been a sign!

As a mere child I listened to Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin...well the rock stations in Philly. So it should have been a huge sign of things to come in my youth when this band, sporting fast cars, a carefree attitude, and a great gimmick, caught my eye!

THE GODFATHER: BETRAYAL

Sources: Lawyer Found Nude In CJC With Young Teen (KYW-3/AP)

Well, just the headline alone is enough to make my skin crawl. In fact, I was eating breakfast this morning when I saw this story on the morning news. I almost hurled, especially because of what I heard next:

"Sources told CBS 3 a Sheriff's Deputy entered a room on the third floor of the CJC building and found 49-year-old Larry Charles, who was naked, with his 14-year-old goddaughter."

Yes, his 14-year-old goddaughter. Not only is this man given a position of trust within the girl's family and seen as a "mentor," but he is also seen as a person in a position of trust within our society as a lawyer.

This incident is indicative of what is wrong with our society. We entrust people with a sacred duty of looking out for those who require it. Sadly, wolves lurk to take advantage of those who look to others for guidance and help.

Sadly, it seems that increasingly, people do not have a moral compass. More and more we hear of people taking advantage of our youth. We kill them before they are born and now we are killing their spirits before they have had a chance to become fully grown.

I have always been of the belief that if someone wants to change his or her life, there is hope for that person and that person, in most cases, should be able to do so. What kind of hope does a girl like this have? Yes, she was in the juvenile justice system, but that does not mean she doesn't deserve a chance at life. She shouldn't expect that sexual abuse is normal behavior.

It is official!

I am totally hooked on 24 after two nights of episodes. I have never watched 24 before this season. I'm slow. WOW! What a beginning to a season!

Just in case I've worried y'all

...here's some Iron Maiden.

Change: A mountain of a verb

A birthday, a death, and a new year. All three on their own can cause someone to ponder about life and changes that need to be made for a better quality of life. All three within weeks, well that can spark quite a self-revolution. As I inch closer to 40, try to pick an approach to the new year, and deal with the "how am I living or not living my life" questions that come with the death of an important person in my life, I've been thinking about change.

While I'm up for fun and excitement, I don't do well with change. I seem to do best when I allow myself to wallow in my vice (only have one left) and accept hard luck as my lot. The past month has taught me something, though. I have a bit more power over "woe is me" than I thought. For years, I thought that I was not capable of some things or even worthy. Through some thought and the kind words of others, I have found that is simply not the case. I'm better than killing myself with food. If my body can't tolerate it, why am I eating it? If I have to eat like a freakin' rabbit, then so be it. I'd rather be healthy and active and enjoying everyday rather than experiencing physical pain, walking around waiting for my health to just fail, and consequently hating life. I don't know when I became that person, but she needs to go somewhere far, far away.

It is amazing how we can convince ourselves that how we are now is how things will always be and that nothing positive can result from negative circumstances. We are armed, from birth, with the ability to choose. We can choose right from wrong, moral from immoral, left from right, and we can most certainly choose to slough off bad habits, past hurts, and change behaviors that would otherwise mean our demise (well that's how the doctors put it don't they?).

I'm not trying to preach. I've got a huge plank in my eye. Just encourage yourselves to be good to yourselves. Why be miserable when you can live a good life, hopefully impacting others in a positive way. I'm realizing I can't live unless I choose life. I'm good enough and the views of others that deem me otherwise can go, welllllll, they can get bent. I'm tired of condeming myself because of the hang ups of others.

Two lenghty and "deep" posts in 24 hours. My brain hurts. ;P

A dream deferred?

I have taught American literature and have taken what Frederick Douglass says in his biography and connected it to literature written before King's speech and after (Twain, Hughes, & Wright). Often I ask the students to write from King's and Douglass's perspectives, letters to today's activists and social leaders, or those perceived to be leaders. The reason I have them do this is because I see the dream of a man, for equality, trashed by those who physically stood by him and those who proclaim they have the best of intentions for those who were and are discriminated against, whether based upon gender, people of color, or the disabled. King's speech can be applied to all. It is not my desire to speak only of people who proclaim to be leaders of the African American community, but to apply this speech to all of us--elected officials, and everyday citizens.

I want to look at some excerpts and wonder aloud, like I have with my students, "Is this turning out to be a dream deferred?" Yes, there have been strides made to ensure that everyone has an opportunity to education, decent housing, and employment. Is the playing field equal for everyone? No. Is it right? No. As long as people follow their human tendencies for service of self, mocking difference, and not allowing themselves to understand others, inequalities will exist no matter the race, gender, or physical handicap. What we can do as individuals, though, is try to challenge ourselves to not fall into pitfalls that cause us to ignore God's creation. Afterall, Galatians 3:28 states, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

“When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

Have we, as a nation, claimed payment on this promissory note? I think King's generation did, but sadly my generation and the generation after mine have regressed. Social division plagues this nation to the point that people don't listen to each other's ideas.

“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.”

How sad that our country continues to drink this combination. It is hemlock to a nation's will. This is why we cannot stomach the hard tasks. If we have so much fighting within the "family," how can we see the realities of our enemies? If we are not looking out for one another, how will we be prepared to meet our nation's challenges?

“We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”

Have those that lead in the name of the downtrodden and the neglected remembered these words? I see manipulation, conceit, and a lack of true "soul force." This applies to all areas of our society: officials looking for trips, meals, and deals that earn then cash to stash in their freezers, teachers who can’t keep their hands to themselves, people who physically harm others because of race or other differences.

While King's words were written because of the racial divide that defined our country for a great portion of its early history, these words can still be applied to our society as a whole. I watch the news and see divisions across all aspects of our society, whether they be racial, faith-based, socio-economic, based on physical appearance--you name it. If there is a difference, there is a division. It seems to have a strangle hold on our country that I have never seen before. Maybe it is because I'm full-on into adulthood. It saddens me, though.

I can't speak about my faith without it being degraded, people look at my physical appearance and use that to decide whether or not I am worthy of a job or a spot in their lives, people look at my skin color and assume I am racist, do not have any friends of color, and do not wish to see the betterment of urban areas.

Somehow I think King's well-intended and idealistic dream has in some ways come true, but we as a nation are not seeking to fulfill it anymore. Education is seen as a joke, mere overpaid babysitting, when it could be the key to a future as a dignified and productive member of society. People write others off as not worth the time and effort. Not only do we destroy precious unborn lives, but also the lives of those that walk the earth. How many people that could have been true leaders in this society have gone by the wayside because the dream did not exist for them?

We are at a real crossroads in our society. We can continue to hate and be divided by differences, or we can choose to open our eyes and our minds and follow through on a dream that could only cause our country to gain strength and a moral compass.

The fat lady has sung; it's over.

This is just a small bit of evidence that FMragtops was doing dark evil things while watching the Eagles/Saints game. Every time he finished a gator po'boy, he stuck a toothpick in a voodoo doll. Why does such a dark, sinister city have a team named the Saints? Shouldn't it be the Gators? The Mojo? Ugh. Well, I for one, will never allow a Philadelphia sports team take a hold of my heart, suck the life out of it, and then leave it on the floor for the world to stomp. Well, not until the next exciting run. The Flyers suck, so it won't be them. The Sixer's stink, so it won't be them. The Phillies? Maybe the playoffs, but not all the way. I know. We have indoor lacrosse and they are always competitive.

So, FM, enjoy it while it lasts. Y'all have had your share of heartache and losses, real losses and heartache, and the imaginary heartache provided by sports. Hope this gives the region a bit to make them feel good.

BRIEF FUNNY

I had two students finished with a test and nothing to do. Knowing they were capable of disrupting the class if not occupied, I allowed them to play hangman. The young man placed blanks on the board for two words and the gallows. The young lady guessed a few letters, so I turned around to see the progress. It was the name Saddam Hussein. Get it? The kid thought, "Hmm. We're playing hangman, so what would be better than Saddam?" Well, I thought it was funny and quick witted of him.

TIME FOR YOUR SATURDAY CARTOON FIX!

Here is a cartoon you could always find me watching on Saturday mornings.

:) Enjoy the day!

RESOLVE!

WHEREAS: I had a "crick" in my right shoulder all week that finally went away yesterday;

WHEREAS: I woke up with a "crick" in the left side of my neck, today (really need neck rub);

WHEREAS: I'm probably using semi-colons incorrectly;

WHEREAS: I'm tired as hell;

WHEREAS: My last class gave me an adult sized bangeroo of a headache;

WHEREAS: I had to yell at that last class because they just wouldn't shut the eff up;

WHEREAS: I have a three day weekend;

WHEREAS: I am developing the philosophy that I do not need to grade stuff seven days a week, ten months a year;

WHEREAS: I am burnt out;

WHEREAS: I only saw the sun once this week, during a sunset;

I resolve to not grade at all this weekend, to find some fresh air, and to not feel guilty about any of it!

Uh-oh, it's limerick time!

There once was a dictat'r from Iraq
whose neck slung in rope without slack
while his body swung time
hell's bells tolled and chimed
and now he is deservedly frak'd!

Your turn.

It's picture time!!!!!!

I wanted to show you all the pretty flowers given to me by my supervisor.

I also wanted to show you the sunset from this evening. It was so pretty, but it was almost over by time I could take the pictures. At least I got to see the sun today. :)

Love this song!

Time for RT Tube. I just wanted to post this song because I love it. Enjoy (I hope.)

HEADLINES!!!!

I'm tired, blah, and my brain is blank. You all get to read a headlines post. Tomorrow evening, I think I'll post a picture of those pretty roses I received. I've been tending to them. Today I snipped the ends and gave them fresh water. They smell like my grandmom's garden. My posts will be a little later than usual this week and next week. I have journalism after school.

Enjoy the funny! At least one might be funny.

Bear pleads not guilty to gun charges
It is likely he'll be found guilty, however. Pic-a-nic basket jacking is a felony, afterall.

Backstory: A London scene set by guerilla art
I've been to the zoo several times and visited the monkey "cages." I don't want to know what the guerilla is using for "paint."

Whale carcass found in Washington state
Rosie O'Donnell claims she's alive and well. However, Teddy Kennedy hasn't been seen for days.

Tehran pollution kills 3,600 in a month
Unfortunately, it hasn't choked the right people, yet.

Five Reasons to Get Off the Couch in '07
1. To get a beverage
2. To go to work to afford to buy the beverage
3. To pay the pizza delivery guy
4. To get fresh batteries for the remote
5. To go to the bathroom

The future of travel to Cuba
1960 era American automobiles

Scorpions on a plane
Get the mutha f'n scorpians off the mutha f'n plane! Well, these scorpians won't "rock me like a hurricane."

Artist spearheads giant banana project
Heh...giant banana

Senators vow ethics reform, but will deeds match words?
Ummm...NO! Dumb friggin' question!

La BOMBA!!!!

Ok, so now the liberals have had one of their rallying cries squashed. We have bombed Al Qaeda in Somalia. Yep, libs cried, "Why don't we go after the concerns in Africa???" (Well, whinier than that, really.)

Back in the swing of things

Aside from the fact that today seemed like an eternity, I had reasons to smile (notwithstanding the fire alarm going off during a downpour-no umbrella-grrrrrr!)

1. I realized Spring Training begins in about a month. That means spring and JUNE cannot be far off in the distance.

2. My students missed me. Isn't that sweet? Well, they said the sub was weird after they said, "We missed you soooooooo much." It counts and it made a long day very bearable.

3. Co-workers told me that it was errily quiet and boring without me. I am known for my one-liners, banter, and wise-cracks. Surprised?

4. One co-worker said I looked the best I have in a couple of years: thinner, rested, nice new curve-hugging outfit. It felt nice after a week and weekend of family that sees me every blue moon discuss my weight and such. (The outfit is a size smaller than my last shopping trip.)

5. My supervisor gave me over a dozen roses and beautiful card. I have a picture of me and my grandmom, on my college graduation day, that I placed the roses next to on my desk.

The best part of today was that the sun was shining so brightly and felt so warm during my drive home. It helped with the lingering blah.

A GIMMICK FOR WYATT!!!!

Captain Den, over at "First In," has a great detective gimmick contest for Wyatt. Vote for the gimmick you believe our beloved detective should have. There are some great ideas from which to choose, or I assume you may throw your own ideas into the fray.

Oh, and have a great day or evening, everyone! Hmmm...wonder if they let detectives wear chaps?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!

Boy am I glad I prepared this post during the first half of the Eagles game. I'm wiped out from the rollercoaster ride. I might have to hit the Tylenol PM, tonight. So, did you guess the lie?
Now for the truth:
1. I am, according to my grandmother (mom's side) and a family tree done many moons ago, related to William Henry Harrison and Benjamin Harrison. How? I have no clue. I was told so long ago, I can't remember. Funny fact: I hate wearing coats.

2. My great-great grandfather Palmer had a sporting good shop in Stirling, Scotland. One of things he was known for were his handcrafted, silk umbrellas. Umbrellas are quite a necessity in Scotland.

3. When I was 16, I went to a small, local venue (City Gardens) to see Megadeth and Slayer. While the two guys my best friend and I hopped a ride with talked with Slayer, the not otherwise engaged members (at various times Araya and King) played tag (not knock down drag out or anything) with my friend and me. Two years later, she found herself dating King. The two events are totally unrelated.

4. While at Great Adventure for some fun, sun, and Quiet Riot/Night Ranger (we were bored) my best friend and I were stunned to notice a certain group of gentlemen following us (at times) and crossing paths with us. Yes, Anthrax. We have a picture, too. They sat a few rows behind us at the concert, with no one else in between. We didn't want to sit with the crowd. That wouldn't be metal. HA!

5. One night after exiting The Roxy, Sunset Strip was full of (as usual) guys with black or blonde hair (or combination of both)...never saw a redhead until this night. I was standing next to him and his hair was so pretty that I turned and said to my friend (loud enough for the guy to hear me), "Wow. He has such beautiful hair." He turned and smiled. My lithium-needing-but-wouldn't-take-it roommate said, "He's a f*g." The smile turned to a dirty look toward my friend. I was like, "Dude, he'll kick your ass!" Fast-forward to when I came home from Cali and the G-n-R video for "Jungle" just came out. (Literally event and video a few months apart.) I look at the video and it is the "guy" from the Strip. I think a stuttered a bit and screamed.

6. It happened as I stated. S. Bach wasn't in the band yet. They went out to LA the same time I was out there and had practice space in the same building as some other friends I had. That too, took a video for realization, but for my friend, as I never met them in Cali. Seaside Heights was enough.

7.A big fat lie! I've been told I have a nice, soothing voice, perfect for the radio or voice-overs, but it has never come to pass.

Yummy Distractions!

I need some distractions from putting thoughts together right now, so I decided to post a couple of clips by a band I find hot. Well, there are others, but I'll save them for another time. I'm going to make it a weekly for a short time, not forever (breathe easy Wyatt). So this band, LA Guns, is a band that once I left Cali, all my friends were friends with. Doesn't it always work out that way? Damn. Anyway, in the first video, "Never Enough," you will find my oooo-I-want-him crush standing in front of the drummer most of the time, playing the guitar (well, the bass player, too). The second video, "Electric Gypsy," I've only included because they all just look too delicious. The sound is awful, but the guy with ALF on his bike just, well, never mind. ;P

Please note: I have been posting like crazy the past few days. Below my mindlessness, you'll find more mindlessness, but of a contest type nature and a non-tag meme nature. You can also leave a funny story about yourself. Just scroll down. Have fun!

Ummm...what would you do for playoff tickets?

Apparently there is a couple in Philly willing to let you watch.

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

This has just made me say a few words I will not repeat online. See, I know the overall necessity of such actions, but for it to leak? Don't tell me crap until it happens, please. Thank you.

You know, when the world is ending, you really begin to see how inane everything is that you thought was so important. I know I feel that way.

MEMEME-Am I tone deaf?

Wyatt posted a no-tag meme on his blog about what he finds attractive. Ok, so here is my list (not in any particular order):

Intelligence & Street Smarts
I list these two together, because you can be the most intelligent person in the world, but if you don't have common sense and street smarts, you're going to have problems. An MIT graduate that can't handle dealing with people would not be a good thing. At the same time, I do like to have conversations that go beyond sports, so that is why intelligence and street smarts are combined. And I really don't mind if I'm not the most intelligent person in the room. I like to learn from others. College doesn't = intelligence, either.

Kindness/Gentleness
This is really important, probably the most important. These qualities, combined, are usually found in people who are patient. I hate when people lose their tempers and make asses out of themselves. Sure there are frustrations that pop our corks once in a while, but to be in a constant state of grrrrrr is not a good thing. It is stressful. I hate confrontation and I hate feeling stressed out about walking into a place where confrontation awaits. Someone who is kind and gentle tends to want to understand other people and their potential rather than always sit in judgment of them, too. So, that is a good thing in my book.

Creative
I'm sagittarius, so this might be why creativity is so important to me. Again, I think it has something to do with seeing people/the world in a way others might not see them. Creative people are usually open-minded and up for learning/trying new things, too, which can never be a bad thing.

Awesome sense of humor
I love to laugh. I cannot stand when people are so into themselves or their "seriousness" (or life's seriousness) that they cannot laugh. I really like silly, stupid movies or smart humor. It doesn't matter. The ability to banter and throw one-liners=awesome!

Generosity
This doesn't only apply to money. Generosity with time, energy, thought, and the other items on this list are probably more important. The whole what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine thing pisses me off.

This was hard for me, to be honest (oh, someone who is honest/trustworthy is really important...super important). I don't really talk about these things.

Guess the lie...

We'll play a game this weekend. You have to guess which of the following statements about my life is a complete and utter lie:

1. I am related to two former presidents.

2. My great-great grandfather married into the Spalding sporting goods family and had his own umbrella/sporting goods shop.

3. When I was 16, I played tag with Slayer in the parking lot of a venue where I had seen them in concert.

4. My friend and I crossed paths with Anthrax many times one day at Great Adventure. We hardcore metalheads were there to see Quiet Riot and Night Ranger.

5. My friend called Axl a nasty word for homosexual on the Sunset Strip...too his face.

6. When I was 17 a limo pulled up to next to my friend and me and when the guy rolled down the window I asked what band he was in (it was too obvious) and he said, "Skid Row." I said, "Yeah, you look it." He said, "We've got Jon Bon Jovi in the car." I was like, "yeah, right." About a year and half later/two years later..."Youth Gone Wild" was a hit. Damn.

7. I once had a temp job at a local television station and was asked to voice-over some promo spots because they liked my voice.

The truth will be revealed Sunday night. Have fun!

Hmmmm. That reminds me...

When I asked for funny stories that let us laugh at ourselves, Wreckse mentioned Motley Crue-ish handcuffs. So I went looking for pictures so you could see what he meant. Well, it is an excuse to put up a picture of the best album cover known to man (well, me). If you look just above the studded hip belt, you will see the handcuffs attached to a belt. However, we po' kids attached them to the two front loops on our jeans. I usually included some chains every now and then. It is hard to see, but the hand holding onto the one cuff has a ring like one I used to wear. I used to wear skulls, grim reapers, and other scary rings (all of which had to be silver).
Here is a somewhat recent picture of Mr. Sixx. This one displays his artwork. I like tattoos, but maybe not that many. I think he needs to grow his hair back a bit more, though. :)

Music Time

Don't worry, I'm not going to hammer your ears with metal. Believe it or not I have varied tastes. I have an interest in jazz. Not a very knowledgeable interest, but one, nonetheless. I like old-school jazz, none of that Kenny G crap. Our area has a decent part time jazz station (shared with classical music-another one of my "likes") at Temple University. I watched a movie this evening that made me want to listen to some jazz, so I thought I'd share.

Ummmm...think we need to be a bit hardcore these days, eh?

Apparently, our National Guardsmen have been overrun at the border. Damnit! The failure of our ability to allow ourselves proper security is alarming. I'll add one more emotion to my list, today--pissed!

Of course our country's main concern right now is the Donald vs Rosie debate and any other thing that can keep the media from focusing on our country and our concerns overseas. Ugh.

IDEA BOX

Right now, I am about as stressed as I have ever been. I have had the same dull headache for about three or four days, I'm in knots, and in a persistent teary-eyed state. (Sorry to kill your buzz) I need some fun ideas on how to reduce my stress level; afterall, I have to prep for next week and begin teaching on Monday.

With that said, what do you do to relieve stress?

DOUBLE WHAMMY OF GOODNESS!

I had two fortune cookies tonight. Trust me, with these two fortunes combined, my life can't help but be good!

Fortune 1: God looks after you especially.

Fortune2: You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.

Woo hoo!

Laughter

I need to laugh. This blog is usually my comfort zone away from "life" stuff. I want to do something fun, but I don't really feel like finding anything. I will share a funny story about me and I hope you do the same. If you can't laugh at yourself, you've got issues. :)

My story: I used to be a mall rat. One crowded Saturday afternoon I was walking with a guy I really, really, really liked in my very teenage, I can't live without him, way. As we were walking I kept constant eye contact as he talked to me. Unfortunately, that meant turning my head to the side. Even more unfortunately, as we walked, I walked smack into a support pillar for the mall. Yeah. I turned eighty shades of red. Turned out he was an awful kisser and we were doomed from the start.

Your turn!

LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Today, we buried my grandmother. During the viewing, before the service, I had the opportunity to sit and reflect. I kept finding myself looking back in my mind always sitting next to her on the couch and listening to her. She would tell me all the family dirt, she'd give me advice, she'd tell me she was proud, she would always have a kiss and a hug for me. These were all constants from the time I could climb up on the couch next to her. I'd always sit to her left. I'd always have a soda, and I'd always sit waiting, eagerly, to hear what she had to say (unless, of course, talk turned to me wanting to be lawyer). There will never be another grandmom in my life. There will never be one like her for me to sit and listen to. I'll never taste her Christmas cookies again and I'll never be able to listen to her laugh, or listen to her whistle, or hear her sing Scottish ditties. I'll never feel her soft hands hold mine, or feel her kiss on my cheek. This is what I thought of today as we buried my grandmother.

Of great comfort to me today were those that told me how proud my grandmom was of me and that they knew how close I was with my grandmom. That meant a lot to me.

I realize today is about my grandmother and not about me, and I hope I don't come across as too self-absorbed. There was love wrapped into all of those things my grandmom and I did together and I wanted to share them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Be good to yourselves. I hope the next year finds us all healthy and living well.