GRADING + END OF THE MARKING PERIOD + ONE DAY TO GET IT ALL DONE = HEADLINES!!!!!!!

"Dem leadership pulls DC voting bill from floor; conservative Dems were supporting DC gun repeal...
Leader Hoyer seen yelling at staff on floor...
Speaker Pelosi absent because she is desperately searching for Iraq supplemental votes...
Holmes-Norton standing silently in disbelief."
Tick...tick....tick...BOOM! They've hit the self-destruct button. Ironically, while not included in the first 100 hours, the Devilcrats have actually accomplished something: making me laugh!

"World's first 'spinal transplant' carried out..."
Realizing his/her spine was not in use [insert name of favorite politician here] he/she donated it to someone who would show some backbone.

"HISTORIAN PLANS BOOK FROM CHATS, TAPES WITH BILL CLINTON..."
Unfortunately, heavy breathing doesn't sell many books. Pron? Yes. Books? No.

"HARVARD CLUB PROMOTES ABSTINENCE..."
Well this is a no-brainer! Trust me, those kids really don't need to be having sex. They think using pocket protectors is safe sex.

"Houdini kin wants body exhumed, tested"
Reports are that the casket had a trap door and the remains have yet to be found.

"Heavy metal soothes bright teens"
Finally, someone has confirmed what I thought for years! Heavy metal clears my brain. Gotta problem with it? Just needed some iron...Iron Maiden!

"Officials buy horns to counter coyotes"
I'm sure there is a joke in here about being horny or too horny (Can you be too horny? I mean I'm...nevermind.)

"Iran's president cancels U.N. appearance"
He's skeeerd! He heard the Statue of Liberty was planning a special "encounter" involving her torch.

"New Orleans residents arming themselves"
Ummm...this is news? It is New Orleans! (Oh wait. Beads aren't a weapon?)

"Coming soon to U.S. pumps: terror-free gasoline"
Researchers have finally found a way to incorporate bacon™ and SPAM into gasoline. The Monger Horde™ is said to be very pleased with this development.

"Is that chimp angry? Facial cues crucial"
I don't know about you, but I'm so glad to know that chimps provide facial cues about their anger, because every time I run into one when I'm out and about, I'm wondering if chimps are giving me dirty looks or if they just look that way.

"China backs away fom green plan"
Because, you know, green and red are just too "Christmas" for them.

"6th Graders Vote that Global Warming is not caused by humans..."
Third grade class president, Albert Gore, sent to the corner to wear a dunce cap.

"Lakers' Bryant joins Chamberlain in 50-50-50-50 club"
Next on Bryant's "to do" list is to break Chamberlain's groupie record.

"Brooklyn Museum unveils first feminist art center in U.S."
Bic and Gillette will not be asked to sponsor any exhibits.

"'Pimp Of The Year' Gets 23 Years In Federal Prison"
Now he's the bitch! Reports state that because he is no longer able to perform his duties as Pimp of the Year, his first runner up, Wyatt, will take the title.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every now and then you just need a little therapy, eh? Enjoy the video.

I should be asleep.

I tried going to bed two hours ago. My legs and feet decided to have a party and didn't invite me. I think my thyroid is punking out again. My legs and feet are cramping for the second night in a row. I'm used to the "signs." This hasn't happened in a while. I see the appropriate doctor in a couple of weeks, so I'm chill. Just in pain and can't sleep. Grrrrrrrrr....

So what kind of stupid stuff can I say tonight?

The moving thing is looking for real in about a year. Who knnows? It could happen sooner. I'm trying to just take it as it comes, but I will almost most definitely be moving to a warmer climate. Some cold is better than bitter cold.

Hmmmm. Nothing else to report. I think I'll hook you all up with some linky dinks soon and post the winners of the caption contest a few people decided to try. You'd think Gore would invoke more silliness. Guess not. He really is an ass. Doesn't anyone on the left remember the PMRC? Doesn't the idea of censorship bother them? Oh, yeah. These are the same people that burn a soldier in effigy (not checking my spelling tonight) and fight for the right to kill babies. Ok, sorry I forgot there for a second. Figures that people with the stankiest breath have the biggest mouths and blow the hottest air. PU!

Note to self and other people's cell phone conversations

Note to self:
1. Don't have Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" as a ringtone when you're 50.

A cell phone conversation in a diner with my embellishments:
(Imagine the most obnoxious and loud Jersey accent you can.)

"Hey, where you at!?!?"

(English teacher cringes because a sentence was ended with a preposition.)

"Yeah, it's the first day of spring!"

(Ummm...actually at 8:07 P.M. it will be spring, but tomorrow is the first full day.)

"How's Aiden's face!?!?!"

(Probably mauled by a killer bunny rabbit or something.)

Meanwhile in a corner of the diner there is a woman (who I actually feel very sorry for) who is literally pulling out her hair and hitting her head against the wall. After she does this a few times, she pulls out her eyelashes. THEN she whips out a pair of scissors and proceeds to cut the insides of her wallet into tiny pieces. She's cutting all kinds of other things, too. ( I really felt sad for the woman, but really scared, too.)

Gotta love Jersey!

This blows in a good way!

After subtracting at least six or so of my own hits to myself (sounds a little abusive) I think I figured out who my 5000th hit was: VON! So, in honor of his hit, I've decided to feed a fetish of his. I need to go pray, now.

I'm sorry.

Folks, I realize my posts of late have been quite "fluffy." Not that I am known for my profound thoughts on this site, but I at least want to give the impression that I have some insight every now and then.

The past few months have been tiring and emotional. I have five classes for which preparation is separate/distinct. While I don't expect you to understand what that means to a teacher that possesses high standards for herself and her students, just know that I spent the last four hours on creating quizzes for only two of those classes. I still have three more classes to prepare. Luckily, I have my plan outlined and can take care of those classes the day before each class meets. Over the next two weeks I'll grade 80 quizzes, at least 360 assignments (if not more), 50-60 essays, and 200 articles. I've actually cut back a little bit since my health scare three years ago. It will all get done and I'll spend the better part of the next two weeks after school with one group (helps get the grading done, anyway).

So, I expect you'll see more fluff. I might have life-altering news in the coming months, as I might be moving (What did you think it would be?). My dad is in control of that blessing...and it is a blessing. Depending on where I end up, it could mean finding a new job. That, my friends, is another stress in itself.

I have a lot going on in my average mind right about now.

I'll try to post something of substance soon.

Two more weeks until my spring break! Maybe I'll be able to form a coherent thought at that point.

Something a little fun...

The truth about St. Patrick

Once you read what I have uncovered about St. Patrick, you'll never look at St. Patrick's day the same ever again. 'Tis a sad day to be wearin' the green. The truth about Saint Patrick:

1. St. Patrick was an occupier. He really wasn't welcome in Ireland.

2. He was intolerant of others' religious beliefs. Ireland was fine until Christianity came along.

3. Ireland never had snakes. It was all a lie. St. Patrick lied and Pagans died!!!!!

4. Born to a wealthy family, he and his well-heeled cronies, the Leprechauns, devised a plot to take over Ireland in their "War for Guinness."

5. St. Patrick wasn't really a saint. Like all leaders who take over a country and its ideologies, he was given the title by the people he brainwashed, not the entity that has the control to give the title.

KISS ME! I'M IRISH. And....here's a song by my favorite Irish band.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!

Finish the thought...

I wish_________.

(funny or serious...whatever you wish-ha!)

3/16: Ummmmm....I wish it didn't take me two hours to get home from work, today. Grrrrrrrr!

Hits needed to reach 5000: 49!!!!!!!! YIPPEEEE!
I'm such a hit whore.

Oh FOOEY!

There is just something about this song and the guy singing it. Grohl is happenin'.

HIT MEH!!!

Ninety-three is the magic number, folks. It isn't just the number of attorneys that Clinton dismissed (yup...didn't see the devilcrats crying over that one). Ninety-three is the magic number of hits I need to reach 5,000. Now, granted, I'm responsible for at least 4,000 of those hits, but I can't hit myself 93 times, that would hurt--a lot. I'd be bruised. You don't want me bruised and battered do you?

I'd make promises in exchange for your hits, but you are all female, married, or engaged. I don't go in any of those directions. So all I can promise is that I will continue to hit you all many times a day, just about every day.

Update: 3/15/07-I now need 69 hits!!!! Heh...69.

CAPTION CONTEST!!! Well, everbody's doing it!

I've decided to throw my hat in the ring. Since everyone is running a caption contest, I will, too. I will post the winners Sunday around race time.

I'm gonna go get an attitude adjustment, now. I'd say I'm gonna go get me some, but you know...it isn't quite the end of the world and hell hasn't frozen over just yet. Beer will have to do. Enjoy the contest! (Sorry, folks...that was "bad RT"...she's hard to control sometimes, but I don't edit her, either.)

That blows!

I'm in a grumble-guss kind of mood. It just sucks how one person can come back to haunt you and cause you unneeded grrrr when you otherwise feel happy....the happiest in years. So, since I'm feeling full of Wyatt-like bile, I thought I'd try something called "that blows!"

I had my new contact lenses less than 24 hours and one ripped....that blows. (Got a new one for free...all is well...still blows, though.)

I chipped a nail today. That blows.

I'm closer to 40 than I am 30. That blows.

I have about ten hours worth of grading to do (all of which was collected today) and more to add onto the pile, tomorrow. Yeah, that really blows.

I can't write what I really want to write....that blows. You know it is bad when you are censoring yourself.

I think I need to go eat some bacon™ or something. Wait, I don't have bacon™...that blows..

When you've got nothing else to say...

No friggin' clue...

I have no clue today. I have been really busy and have a lovely sinus infection. So, I've been posting a lot of bullpucky. Oh well...y'all seem entertained to some degree.

Here's what I've been up to, besides 5'10": I've been losing weight (people are noticing). I got contact lenses, today. Ummmm....I might be looking (seriously) for a house soon, within the next six months or so. No clue where, yet; well, I have a clue, but I don't want to discuss it just yet. At least not in this forum.

My mom has developed the annoying habit of coming into my room, my domain, and sitting on my bed to talk to me. (Can I have that house, now?) Anyone got a nice male relative in his sixties? She can be moody and lazy, but she's a great cook! (restaurant family)

So, this week is St. Patty's day, eh? My grandmom, Northern Irish, used to tell me to wear orange just to piss off the Catholics. My whole town is veryyyyyy Catholic. I don't think that would have gone over very well. She was a pistol, she was. Redhead. (Not the one that just died; the one that just died was quite Scottish, Anglican and blonde.) For years the Scottish in me has never allowed me to admit I am Irish. Now I just look at is as the Scottish and the Irish are fighting the English in me. Hey, it works. I'll be wearing green in honor of my heritage and in honor of some Irish knight I am supposedly related to. His name was Whyte. (Sometimes I think grandparents have vivid imaginations.)

Yep, I have no friggin' clue, tonight.

I'm still experiencing much happiness (happier than I've been in years) and general non-grumpiness. That's the important thing.
If you have any ideas about a post I can do, feel free to put in a suggestion or a request. I aim to please.

I'm going to go channel surf between The Riches (love Eddie Izzard) and the Flyers. Somehow I think I'll lose interest in the Flyers. I'll get three hours of sleep, but I'll still be HAPPY, darnit! Oh, and here is a little something to get ready for St. Patty's day! Well, it makes me think of drinking!

Have some cake!

REMEMBER, IT IS NO FUN UNLESS WE ALL KNOW WHY YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE!

You Are Strawberry Cake

Fresh, sassy, and romantic. You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat. Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Form of a Saturday morning cartoon!

Well, do ya?

Get yer headlines!!!!

"'Green Sex' Promoted to help Protect the Environment": Kermit the frog is said to be very excited!

"LIBEL: Restaurant Lawsuit Against Critic Who Called Steak 'Tough and Fatty'": I'm tough and fatty and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Doesn't fatty = flavor? Just sayin'.

"Denver Unveils Parking Meters for Homeless": Now they must beg for quarters and sleep in shifts.

"Wired Iraqi man questioned at L.A. airport; object found in body cavity search": Given one-way ticket to San Francisco.

"Scientists study Earth's missing crust": Rosie, hearing that the Earth has a crust, mistakes it for apple pie and takes a big bite.

"The World's Most Explosive Tongue": How'd my secret get out? Hey...a little self-promotion isn't bad, though, right? Did I ever mention that I have a slight lisp because my tongue is too long for my mouth (just a little too long)?

"Scientists find distinct 'dialects' in whale singing": Rosie seems to be fluent in all of them.

"More than 30 Vermont towns seek to impeach Bush": The proof that maple syrup rots the brain, frickin' hairy hippies.

"Turkish court orders YouTube blocked": RT Tube, however, can never be contained!!! Buuuhhahwhahahwhwhwahwh!

"Warning: Don't spam this Scot": Just in case you were thinking of it...don't do it! I'll kick your arse!

"Rare Mekong dolphin making a comeback": Von is very excited and is booking his flight.

"Meat-loving calf eats chickens": The calf is just following the marketing campaign of Chic-Fil-A.

"Catfish assault reported at Tenn. diner": For the love of God! Why are people beating up fish? What's next? Giving hushpuppies a curb-job? Dang.

"Cops: Groom hit his bride with car": He was just trying to get the sickness and 'til death do us part section of the vows out of the way.

A mind can be a scary thing when not in use.

All this week I have been involved with state testing and well, since we're not supposed to take anything to grade into the room with me, I realized I had tons of time to think. This is normally quite dangerous because I tend to just think about adult, indoor sporting events. Today, though, I made a conscious effort to think about other things. For example:

I pondered some of life's biggest questions:
1. Why do old women smell like moth balls? Are those the only balls they ever see at their age?

2. Why does bacon™ taste so good?

3. Why am I so ornery?

4. Why are we paralyzed by our fears?

5. Why do I sleep better after I've had a beer?

Then, thinking about my slippery drive into school, I made a resolution. Yeah. I know January 1 was like three months ago.
I have resolved that I will move somewhere that shuts down even at the hint of snow.

Finally, I thought of what might be my perfect "ordinary" day if I had a choice:
1. Wake up after eight hours of sleep, not four or five.
2. Eat breakfast, not inhale it.
3. Clean the house...in my perfect world, I'd have a house.
4. Exercise for like an hour.
5. Lunch/run errands
6. Chill for a little while.
7. Make dinner, have a beer, oooo and in a perfect world I'd get some.
8. Sleep for eight hours.

Yeah...I wouldn't have a job, but I'd be happy. :) Ok, so that is my sad little mind at work when it has nothing else to do.

Hope you had time to think, today.

Just chillin'

I've been trying to think of something to post that will "grab" your attention, something stirring. Eh...can't think of anything that I'd like to say, really. There are always the present controversies over what Ms. Coulter said and no controversy over what Bill Maher said. I could also post about how the world is crumbling and take my guesses as to when our lovely earth is just gonna blow to smithereens. I don't feel like dwelling on the negative, though. As of late, I've been feeling pretty positive, pretty happy. That doesn't mean I don't think about the general state of "ick" in which this world seems to wallow. There are always death, destruction, hate, and anything else that is bad that you can think of. I want to be different, today.

I was thinking, though. I'm an American woman, given to my whims. I'm allowed to be given to my whims. My religion says I have a choice and so do the documents left by my forefathers. Eventually, people even saw fit to give my sex the power to vote (a sense of power, even to this day, I can't describe). I realized looking at all this freedom and choice staring me in the face that I limit myself. I hold back on what I want. I don't speak up for myself nearly enough. Why? Who knows? I don't think it is part of any patriarchal hold on my life. But tonight I realized I need to start voicing things for myself. I've been watching what women around this world experience. Large numbers are mutilated, killed, sold, abused, and not allowed to speak out for themselves. In a lot of areas of the world women are seen as a liability and a burden.

I think what I'm getting at is just how grateful I am to live in a country where I can express myself. I'm grateful that I have an education and basic rights that women elsewhere do not possess.

I don't think we stop enough to count our very basic blessings. I didn't have to eat bugs to survive, today. I didn't have to wonder where my next meal was coming from. I didn't have to worry about being sold into any situation obviously bad for a woman. I got to wake up, put on my television, get ready for work, hang out with some kids and teach them, come home, take a long nap, and then write this post. While it sounds boring and might be driving me to tears at times, it is a life I would gladly NOT exchange with another.

Happy Monday, everyone: Four more days to go until Friday!

Sometimes you just need some Maiden!

Hate when that happens...

I hate when some idiot's car horn/alarm goes off when I am about to drift off to sleep (at a normal hour, no less). I hate when that happens!

Behold, Queen of Saturn!!!!

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life. You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

BTW!!!! If you do this and post which planet is matched to you, please state why...makes things more interesting. :)

Much warmth, lots of sun = AHHHHHHHHH!

"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.


~William Wordsworth

Happy birthday to a rock icon!

Today is Roger Daltrey's birthday. He is one of my favorite rock singers of all time. He's not bad on the eyes, either. HA! Well...he did have that long-ish wavy, curly hair. Mmmmmmmmm.

No, I don't want to take a number.

Today was the first day in over a week I could really run any errands after school, so I went to three places, all of which required waiting. First stop? NJ inspection station to get my car inspected. Yay. As there were two cars in front of mine once I was inside the station, I had to stand for a half an hour for what takes about five minutes or ten minutes, tops. The car passed. Unfortunately for me the guy doing the inspection was about four inches shorter than me and when I got in my car the steering wheel performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me. That's ok, dude. I didn't need those ribs.

Then I went to Target. I bought way too much stuff and of course they had three cashiers to wait on about twenty people with lots of stuff. (Are you sensing my impatience?)

Finally, I was off to pick up a pair of shoes that I ordered over a month ago from my shoe store. When you teach, good shoes are really important or you'll ruin your back and feet. So when I walk into the store, it is really busy, but there is a woman at the register taking a phone call. When she is finished with the customer service call, she asks what I need and I tell her that I'm just picking up shoes that I ordered (paid for, too). In her mommish, looking down her nose at me voice, "Well, ma'am have you taken a number [yes, they are that busy of a store]? We like for customers to try the shoes on, first."

"No, I didn't take a number and I tried the shoes on when I paid for them. I had to order black when all you had was blue. I should be fine."

"Ma'am. Are you sure you don't want to take a number and try on the shoes?"

"Yes."

Mommish and annoying, "Oooooookayyyyyy."

When she returned with the shoes, she showed them to me so that I could identify them (didn't realize it was a line-up. "Yes, officer. Those shoes are responsible for me kicking that woman's ass if she doesn't let me out of her store any time soon.")

So then I make the mistake of telling her I'd like to purchase a shoe horn. Ugh. Again, as slow as a new bottle of ketchup and mommish, "Which one would you like?"

"Umm, any one of those hanging behind you is fine."

"Which color would you like?"

"Any color." (Stares at me blankly.) "Ok, that yellow one." At this point I'm about to deck her.

Then she says, "Hmm. I just don't know if these are the shoes marked on the 'paid for' part of your history card. One moment." (I went there last week to inquire about my long-lost shoes and the owner waited on me. I know those are the shoes I paid for, damnit!) "Jim...could you come here for a minute?" He's got the oh, shite, I've got to talk to that annoying woman look on his face. "Are these the shoes marked 'paid for' on this card?"

"Yes, it says it right there." (In my head..."Damnit, lady, I told you I paid for them. I have the frickin' receipt!" Blood pressure rising.)

"Well, I just wanted to be sure. You never know." DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT? DO I LOOK LIKE A FRAKIN' SHOE-NAPPER?

That was a half an hour I will never get back in my life!

New cause = new flavor

Liberals and and Hollywood types like to have causes...we know this. However, time is ticking on their current flavor-of-the-moment causes. Hmm....never see those red ribbons much, do we? As I see it, the current causes of global warming and the plight of those in different areas of Africa have a ticking clock. (Seriously, I knew about the stuff happening in Africa years ago...where were they then?)

Since these causes will soon lose their flavor with the holier-than-though crowd, how about we come up with new causes to fill up those empty tree-hugging arms?

HEADLINES!!!!!

I'm really suffering from major writer's block. I'm at the mid-point of my marking period and that, combined with major prostrastination, has resulted in an inability to compose anything of a coherent nature. So here are my unoriginal headlines. Enjoy!

"Girl can stack, unstack 12 cups in 5.3 seconds"

I can do that, too. You take one out from the bottom, duh.

"Efforts to plug Indonesian "mud volcano" resume"

If it is successful, plans to plug Mt. Al Gore will commence.

"Group says U.S. restaurants promote 'extreme eating'"

Finally, a sport in which all of us kick ass!

"Study: Garlic won't lower cholesterol"

However, it will lower your chances of getting a little somethin' somethin'.

"Cuba's cigar festival underway"

Bill Clinton is the keynote speaker with his speech, "101 Uses for a Cigar."

"Beaver returns to New York City after 200 years"

Rosie O'Donnell reportedly very excited and planning an extensive hunt.

"Newsweek: Dark-horse Kucinich plots his course"

Luckily for us it is a circular course, since it is endless and pointless.

"Man aged 107 forsakes sex for longevity"

Dies without a smile on his face.

"Diplomats to draft new U.N. sanctions on Iran"

Experts assert the draft will reach #1 on the NY Times best seller list for fiction.

"Power: Gore mansion uses 20x average household; consumption increase after 'truth'"

Well, he had to have all those parties and he is afraid of the dark. Poor little baby.

Another reason why I am glad to be an American!

I think John Kerry got his countries confused. He was talking about France's military.

SATURDAY MORNING YUMMIES!!!!

I rarely eat donuts, but when I do, these are absolutely my favorite ones to eat!

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

It's a happy Friday when it is a pimpin' Friday!

I have nothing this weekend. While I am feeling better, I just don't have the brain cells to form anything worth reading and I'm tired of subjecting you all to RT Tube. However, there are some worthwhile offerings from a few of our blog buddies.

Rachel has a question for discussion. What do you think? Does saying someone is an illegal immigrant constitute that statement as racist? (or something like that)

Wyatt has a hockey inspired caption contest and his Friday list of hate and bile.

If you are in a mischievous mood, follow the link provided by Fmragtops to "sp@m" a fellow blogger's comments because she is a liberal and she is away. Hey...she told FM and FIAR not to do it, so you know...they just had to do it. It is all good fun in the name of ending terrorism. Think of it as a spam-a-thon.

Oh heck...here's a song performed on the British comedy, The Young Ones. It might make your Friday night poker game more fun. I think I need to re-learn how to play.

Just a laugh...

Hoping to appease the Tazmanian devil that has taken residence inside my body, I thought some humor might help. Well, it hasn't, but I thought I'd share this story about a hockey goalie gone loco. It then reminded me of my favorite hockey movie:

Grrrrrrr.

There is so much in this world that is making me angry and I want to post about all of it. There are some fun things I want to post about, as well. However, I can't put a complete thought together. I do seem to be able to drool rather well, though. I'm not feeling so good. I'll be back in a couple of days.

In an effort to get something new (and funny) here, what is your favorite one-liner, or what do you say to people just to unhinge them enough to give yourself a laugh?

BOOK REVIEW!!!

Over the past few days I have read Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill (Stephen King's son). It is a supernatural type thriller more than horror and not a difficult read (close to 400 pages). To be brief, the story is about an aging rock star who buys a haunted suit. The twist is the suit belongs to the stepfather of a girlfriend/long-term groupie that killed herself. Jude, the main character, is eventually told that the suit is meant to bring about his demise as vengance for the groupie's death.

Overall, I liked the book. However, there are some really contrived areas where Hill (more likely his editor) placed allusions to rock songs within descriptive parts of the narrative. The allusions were awkward most of the time. There were also parts where the description was overdone. Instead of allowing the reader to imagine things after a sentence of description, Hill goes on for a few more, seemingly plotting out a storyboard for a movie. The ending was kind of weird, too. Again, it seemed a bit contrived.

I recommend it if you are into horror/thriller stuff. There was one point in the book where I really liked the characters and I was actually afraid for them and didn't want to turn the pages.

If I had to rate this book, since this is about a rock star, I'd give it 3 1/2 flying "V" guitars out of 5. It is good, just not mindblowing.

This one is for all the haters and the wussies in our country and overseas...

Thank you to all of the troops. Not everyone thinks your service and sacrifices are in vain.




(H/T: Michelle Malkin)

U2 ME2

This is for LMC, so that she knows what her theme song is. I think we can all use it, though. :)

What's your theme song????? Mine shouldn't surprise you.

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Feel like reading?

I'm in the middle of a new horror novel and I got to thinking about some literature I'd read in the past that I really liked. Usually, I like dark writing that gets inside of how people work. I especially like Southern Gothic literature (yes, that's what it's called). I'll have a book review for you all in a couple of days for the book I am reading; but for now, if you feel like reading a short story, check out Flannery O'Connor's "Good Country People." It is about a girl and a Bible salesman, but of course it is a little sick and it is not all that simple of a relationship. Well, it is Southern Gothic.

I'm bored

I'm really, really, really bored this evening. So, I was looking at my site meter and there was a search that I can totally relate with, as I am lame with the opposite sex (well, when it comes to talking). I'm assuming, of course, that a female was doing this search: "interesting questions to ask boys."

So...what are some interesting questions to ask "boys"? Just wonderin'.

Someone who likes bacon™

There is a member of the horde that I've neglected to add to my blog list. Go visit, Von. I'm sure he'll appreciate the hits. He seems to have a good sense of humor, but I'm sure we can break him of it.

Hmmm....what do I watch most Saturday nights?

Got a problem with it? Yeee haaa!

Outside my window...global warming

You're in the back row!

Update on Daytona...Jeff Gordon has to start from the 42nd position because "Gordon's car was found to be too low in post-race inspection" (Fox).

I guess they found a way around the step stool they use to get Gordon into the car. Now...about those phone books...

It’s a skippidity do da day!

Freeing my car from its tomb of ice, really thick ice = one hour

Driving to work behind 80 year-old men who have no business driving during rush-hour = one hour

Four day weekend with an extra "teachers only" day = five days...no kids

Being prepped ahead, with no grading to bring home = no stress

Having a book to read that I don't have to analyze or teach = Awesome!

Getting a heart-shaped chocolate lollipop from one of my girls = so cute

Eating chocolate of all sorts all day and realizing it truly is an aphrodesiac = Damn

Hearing, "You look beautiful, today. You look great. You look really great." = Awwwwwwww shucks and sweeeeet! What? Did you think I'd be totally unoriginal and say, "Priceless?" Well, ok....priceless!

Spending two hours with sun on my face wasn't too shabby, either. :)

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. ~Virgil A. Kraft

Within the last couple of hours I finally became so overcome by the bullpucky that is Valentine's Day I decided to look forward and regain my mental well-being. (No comments from the peanut gallery!)

So, I thought I'd create a list of things I'm looking forward to in the spring...thank God (really) that it isn't too far off into the future:

1. I look forward to seeing flowers. You name the type, except for the foul-smelling marigolds, I love them all, especially daisies.

2. The crack of the bat will be heard for the first time within the next couple of weeks depending on which team you follow.

3. By the end of spring I'll be a couple of sizes smaller--definitely something that will put a smile on my face.

4. More sunshine! I can think of nothing better than the feeling of sun hitting my face. It is kind of like God is smiling at me. Feels good.

5. Spring leads to summer vacation!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!! That means I get to go visit my cousin in Nashville for the first time in years...long overdue. Then I'll drive up to Michigan to see his brother...equally overdue visit.

6. My best friend is getting married. I'm bummed she'll be moving really far away, but I'm so happy for her.

7. I can drive around with my windows down so everyone can hear my obnoxiously loud music.

8. Did I mention sunshine and flowers?

9. The saddest hockey season ever will end.

10. No more brine on the road means no more inhaling it while I drive. YES!

THINK SPRING, EVERYONE!!!!

“It's spring fever.... You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”

Mark Twain

There is hope! (Oh, and SNOW DAY, SUCKERS!)

WARNING!!!! I'm....

Anyone got 100 pennies for a dollar?

A perfectly good pole gone to waste!

Can't hide from it; might as well embrace it

I've been trying to stare the day'o love in the face. It has seemed to twist my heart into a knot for the past five years...almost six. I officially gave up at that point, never wanting to ever be that sad again. "He" was more than just some guy, he was someone that I loved very much and I had known for 12 years. Well at some point ya got to get over it, I guess. So...the past year I've been trying to not let the men-folk get to me. Easier said than done (remember the married scum?).

Well, another year later and probably not any wiser. I do have a new perspective, though. The more I try to protect myself from ever hurting that much again, the more I am shut off from life. I don't want that, so I guess to live you have to be willing to hurt. So...whatever.

With this new attitude of "whatever," I got to thinking what I would actually do if I had a valentine. I guess after I picked myself up off the floor from the collapse due to shock, I'd just try to not be an ass and appreciate that person more than I've ever appreciated someone.

Appreciate those who have chosen to love you. You'll get more love in return. Remember to love them back, unconditionally and sincerely.

Here's a song that I grew up really loving. There's always hope, isn't there?

2/13: I tossed this post around in my mind all day. I felt like my point was lost in some of what I said. Simply put, sometimes you just gotta put the past in the past and move on with a fresh perspective/outlook and not let your past become your bully or your identity. :) It's all good.

Come up with your own title...I'm toast.

I'm tired.

I wanted to be witty and talk about how I've been wanting to just play. I think it is a reaction to all the seriousness of my personal life the past month or so.

However, I'd rather go eat some Haagen Daz chocolate ice cream right now. Yes, that ice cream will be smothered in whipped cream. Yum!

So...I found another song that could be a "fun" Valentine's ditty. Just what is a Jeepster, anyway?

I keep sneezing, I'm full of aches, and I have the chills. Not a good sign for a four day weekend ushered in by the possibility of a snow day. Dang.

UPDATE: EVERYTHING ACHES! My throat hurts and my lungs feel all funkified. I don't think the teddy bear can help me on this one. I think I might have a fever, too. Grrrrrrrr........ I'm gonna cry.

Guess what!!!! Somebody loves RT!

HER DADDY! My dad can be so cute sometimes. He gave me a teddy bear and a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. The chocolate is yummy and the bear is cuddly.

BOOGITY! BOOGITY! BOOGITY!!!!!

Let's go racin'!!!!! So what will happen this year? Who will win the pole position at Daytona? Will Stewart finally get his ass kicked? Will the Toyota entries do well? Will Dale sever his ties with the wicked stepmother and buy DEI? Will Jeff Gordon find something other than phonebooks to sit on to see over the steering wheel? In my book, spring has officially begun! Feel the warm sunshine....yummmmmm! Yes, I'm ignoring the possibility that I'll have a snow day, Wednesday...but that is a good thing in itself, so I'll stay happy! See, you all are noticing how happy I am, eh?

Just a question

Can you get addicted to lip balm? Just wondering.

Too funny to pass up

Hmmm....


As seen on Break.com

Perhaps maybe this guy should be neutered. I mean really, those shoes and the helmet just don't match.


As seen on Break.com

Wish I was there...

For the first time in a verrrrry long time, I actually wish I was out watching a band. So, I went and found a "drink-a-beer-and-chill" type of performer. Unfortunately, he's dead, so I can never go see him play, but I can RT Tube him! Since I'm having "fun" with Valentine's Day, I picked a song that would actually make a really good Valentine's Day song. I am going to go have a beer, now.

Something to be very thankful for

My faith is a ruling factor in my life and in many of the decisions that I make. I know you all see my "darker" side at times, but my faith in God is paramount. I'm not perfect and I am always a work in progress. As part of my faith, when we experience an answer to prayer, we should give thanks, and that's what I intend to do:

For the past little while a friend and I have been praying for each other. Specifically for God's intervention in our mutual and individual struggles. Over this past little while, I have experienced a lot of improvement in my health and in my level of fatigue. I have not felt this good in a few years. Why am I telling you all this? Well...I wanted to offer encouragement to those of you who might be praying for things and feel like those prayers are bouncing off the ceiling. God hears them. I prayed the past two and a half years for what has happened in these past couple of months. God had me wait so that someone else could be encouraged. He does that, you know. We have our limited patience and our what we feel is our "path to success," but sometimes He takes His time. It can be frustrating, very frustrating. However, looking back, I'm glad that my friend is able to receive boundless encouragement for how God answers prayer. Not only am I grateful for God's faithfulness, but also for my friend's faithfulness in praying for me. I only hope is that my prayers will lead to equal, if not more, blessings for my friend.

So what have I experienced the past two months? General improvement and I am a size lower in my clothes. Most importantly, over the past few weeks, I have experienced a surge in energy, I'm smiling again, I'm really focused, and my willpower has returned. Combine all of those really good things, and I'm the happiest I've been in at least two years. I am even walking better and with more speed. I am so very thankful for my friend's prayers, and I'm just feeling very blessed.

With all of this said, I realize some of you reading this do not share my faith. That's fine. It is your choice, completely. I just hope you receive some encouragement through my improvement.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

Maybe Uber is right...

She advised me to have fun with Valentine's Day. It is never a good day for me, but I will try. So take this quiz and find out who you shouldn't date. Well, most of you are married or engaged, but you can see if you made a mistake. HA! Sorry...I get very dark around this day. Have fun! Meh.

Never Date a Scorpio

Jealous, paranoid, and possessive - deep down, your Scorpio will never trust you. And even if you are very trust worthy person, Scorpio's paranoia may drive you to act out. Instead try dating: Aries, Gemini, Libra, or Sagittarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

RT! WHY ALL THE LAME POSTS?????

Well, I'll tell ya.
1. Since the end of last week, I've spent about 12 hours a day with teenagers.

2. I'm fried.

3. I'm training to become absolutely irresistible.

4. I've been thinking (heavily) of things I wouldn't dare post on this site.

5. I'm beginning to assume my Valentine's Day position--fetal.

6. I'm trying to figure out how homemade ice cream is better than store bought.

7. I'm still trying to get the image of Harry Potter, naked, out of my head. He's only 17. But, damn, Harry!

8. I was kidnapped by a band of gypsies and I've been telling fortunes.

9. I got my tongue stuck on a flag pole due to a triple dog dare.

10. Because my posts suck!

I know you're dying to caption this picture, so go ahead. Maybe this will be my "after" picture in another year. A girl can dream.

Snarky answers to your "interesting" questions:

Since I answer questions for a living, I thought I would give you all a chance to ask questions. Afterall, there are no stupid questions. Well...

FIAR asked, "When will I update my site again?"

Since you are a sensitive guy who is in touch with his feelings, I assume when you feel the time is right.

My question is, when is the Monger Horde site going to experience an update?

Skul asked, "When will FIAR update his blog??"

See my previous answer. You know, it drives me nuts when students ask the same question within seconds of each other.

Then Skul seems to turn into one of my students, "If there are no woods in the Arctic, where do Polar Bears poop? What color is it?"

Since I have never been to the Artic, I do not know where polar bears do their business. However, I would guess behind the nearest iceberg or in an ice cave in a glacier...they need their privacy, too. Color? Guess it depends on what they ate...I don't know. Yes, I have students like you and I give sacrastic answers.

DragonLady asks, "When will Goldbloom get her lazy behind back online and post something????"

Goldbloom will get back online when her lazy arms reach up to the keyboard and her lazy fingers begin to type. You really should be nicer to your sister. But again, I am speaking as an only child.

Anonymous (i.e. Chickenshite from Portland--according to sitemeter) asked, "RT, Are you homemade vanilla ice cream???" and then stated, "MMmmmm tasty..."

Well, since I'm white, that would make me vanilla. Hmmm... I'm not frigid by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm not sure I'd be ice cream. Then again, ice cream is soft and melts in your mouth. So yeah, I guess I am vanilla ice cream. Hmm...whipped cream and other condiments make ice cream taste soooo much better, too!

Then "Anonymous" states, "Daddy likes homemade ice cream!!!"

So who's my daddy, and is he gonna make some vanilla ice cream? (Do you like Van Halen's "Ice Cream Man," by any chance?) Guess you're lucky this is public...it gets worse.

Wyatt, being of sounder mind, asked me saner questions than the above person with an ice cream issue. He asked, "Who's hotter: Helen Thomas or Jessica Biel?"

Duh, Jessica Biel. What, you think I'm gonna say Helen Thomas? She could work for a painting crew. She'd scare the paint right off the walls.

Then he asked, "As a teacher, is hippie liberalism inbred, or a product of upbringing?"
Actually, I think it is a chemical imbalance in the brain combined with the little tattle tale/snitch from the playground, who when he didn't get his way, whined like a little baby and got the whole class in trouble. Yeah...that about sums it up a bit.

Then Wyatt, feeling sorry for my lack of questions to answer, asked, "When will Rachel stop stalking me? Heh."

She will stop stalking you when you stop calling her with your computer issues. I think you purposely stall changes/upgrades (FireFox) just to have an excuse to talk to her...you stalker! HA!

I need my fix!

I started out looking for songs to remind us of summer. We are all in a deep freeze (well, maybe not Rachel). So, I looked for "Summer in the City" by Lovin' Spoonful, then I got sick of looking at hippies. Then I thought..."haven't drooled over Slash, lately." So, I looked for Slash, but there was only one video where he really had his shirt off and it was a guitar solo. I like the Godfather theme and all, but snore! So then I thought, "Who's next?" Mmmmm.....Joe Perry! So I found him singing a blues song and he made me drool, but I wasn't feeling it. So I decided on an old standby by Aerosmith, "Dream On." I love this song. It is so smart. Joe Perry looks hot and he's hot, did I mention he's hot? Ok...enjoy the video. BY THE WAY...GO ASK A QUESTION IN THE POST BELOW OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

You got questions? I got answers!

I am too tired to think. I looked and looked for something to write about, but I couldn't form any thoughts that seemed coherent. Plenty bugs me in this world, or just plain scares me. There are plenty of rants I'd like to devote to some people. However, I'm really cold and really tired. Not feeling so fiery tonight.

To that end, feel free to ask me a question. I don't even know what topic to pick, so I'll leave it up to your individual tastes. This could be scary. :)

Think spring, everyone. It will be here soon.

I'll post my answers Wednesday night...sometime.

Smell the sulfur of hell!!!!!!!!!!!

(Say that title with your best heavy metal voice.)
Yeah. I just had a run-in with the crazy side of my family. I had to share this because this is my place to vent, but I'll try to humor y'all with it a bit. My Dad, who can't deal with mean people very well, was blamed by my cousin tonight for my Grandmother's death. I know, "RT, where's the humor." Well, that side of the family is literally crazy. Makes me feel really normal. HA! Anyway, my poor Dad called me upset and tongue-tied asking me to call my cousin to tell her to leave him alone. So I emailed her knowing I wanted a record of the exchange and because I really didn't feel like talking to her. I don't do confrontation well--not because I'm skeerd, but because I have a temper when it comes to someone dissing someone I love. (I won't tell about the time my cousin told my mom she was a bad mom.) Ok...so the good part: my email. I told her that she doesn't know everything about my Grandmother's care and my Grandmother's wishes (added that she had almost no contact with my Grandmom to even know her wishes) and then I ended it with this well-crafted gem: "If you care anything about my father, please do not make his life miserable with your pious attitude." That's just about the time my mom walked into the room with a beer for me. Since I don't smoke anymore, I had to have something! Now...if I could find a man to get me a beer.

Don't worry folks. I just needed to vent. I'm laughing now, thanks to Mr. Weiser. At least I didn't get the crazy genes. :) ps...I didn't proofread this...bite me....hard! Oh, her reply, "Do not contact me further." Yeah...pick on my defenseless father, but curl up like a wooly bear when you're called on something. I'm glad I live nowhere near her and her siblings and mother. Yes, I'm fiesty when I wanna be. It's a good thing. ;P

Love is in the air!!!!

Fmragtops has found a wonderful lass and has decided to make it last. Ok. I'm done rhyming. Congratulations to FM! I hope you have a bazillion happy years together!

Walk the Line

I watched Walk the Line this evening. WOW! I'm really having good luck with movies lately. I should have known it would be good if the beginning made me choke up a bit. In small ways I can identify with things that Mr. Cash and his lovely bride, June, experienced in their lives. Walk the Line is a really good movie that shows how people can work through their failures, faults, and "issues." It shows that one can still come out on the other end of a lot of hurt with hope and see a future that holds some promise. I always admired Mrs. Cash's spunk and sassiness. Now I admire her strength.

The art of choosing a theme song

With a lonnnnng election season beginning for 2008, the candidates are tuning up by giving speeches that state their beliefs for the direction of our country. The most important part of those speeches, of course, are the theme songs that the hopefuls use. I think the song titles reveal a little bit about the candidates' personalities, too. Let's analyze...(I'm trying so hard not to get into trouble today):

John Edwards: "This Is Our Country" by John Mellencamp:
This title can mean so many things. Could it be a bit of hypocrisy? Afterall, Edwards is a very wealthy man, with the most expensive home in N.C. So, by saying it's "our country," isn't he saying it on behalf of the rich? Therefore, isn't he backtracking on the one thing he tries to hammer us with in his "I was a po' boy growin' up," speeches? He could also be using this song to state that the Democrats own the country. Well, that's what they think, isn't it? There's no inclusion in their tone, especially within the beltway. I find this song title quite elitist.

Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut: "Get Ready (Cause Here I Come)" by the Temptations and "Reach Out," also by the Temptations:
Get with it you old fogey! See, he's lost already. He's pandering to the boomers while forgetting those that pay for the boomers to collect social security. At least he warns us of his arrival. "Here I come, I'm going to bore you to death with my old ideas." Then as he is leaving, he wants to shake your hand for the photo ops, so he gives a verbal cue with, "Reach Out." Funny thing about that song title, though. Do the Democrats truly reach out? Yes, they do. They reach out, right into my pockets. Sorry guys; all you'll get is lint. Well, maybe a tic-tac.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York: "Right Here, Right Now," by Jesus Jones and "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive:
See, Hillary is always giving commands. She is such a shrill woman. "Right here, right now! I order you to listen to me! I have something important to say!" I don't always blame Willy for his actions; afterall, how would you respond to her 'tude? "Bill! I want you to (fill-in-the-blank-with any random command), right here, right now!" Could you imagine being married to that caterwauling? In addition to her commands to listen to her, we also have to watch her walk away, and we are reminded of it! Does she not realize that the title, "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" and the view of her from behind combine for a hillary-ous image? Well, Hill, we don't want to see any more of you, that's for sure. (At least Condi could use "These Boots Are Made For Walking." Hmmm....I think I might adopt that one as mine.)

Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio: "America the Beautiful":
Really, Dennis. Couldn't you be a little more original? You hate America. If you loved America and thought she was beautiful, you wouldn't want to turn her into a Communist state and make us all eat tofu. That raises a question in my mind. Do all people who eat massive quantities of tofu look as "ick" as this guy?

A couple of songs that might suit you better are "Another One Bites the Dust" because you have absolutely no chance of winning (Why are you wasting the money of others to feed your ego?), and "The Sound of Silence" since no one will be at your rallies...well, maybe the non-shaving lasses will visit for the free tofu.

Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois decided against using any music in keeping with the somber tone he sought to convey:
What, no dirges available? "It's Not Easy Being Green" would have been a good choice. Well, according to Biden's backtrack, B.O. is "fresh." Callow, maybe?

Wesley Clark, who hasn't indicated whether he will run, entered to Johnny Cash's "I Won't Back Down":
See! Clark never has an original idea! He had to use a remake of a Tom (I look like Kermit the Frog) Petty song. What is he not backing down from? "I will look sound judgment and common sense in the face and not back down from my desire to exemplify utter stupidity!"
How about you use "I'm a Loser" by the Beatles.

Feel free to provide your own song choices for the candidates. :)

(apnews.myway.com)

Sometimes you need to change the subject!

I feel better, now.

You Are Vanilla Ice Cream

Your personality is anything but "vanilla" You're a risk taker, who's up for anything new. You go well with anyone and fit into any situation. You are most compatible with rocky road ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

I have a problem....

I've joked that I have a one-track mind, but now it is confirmed. What's a girl to do? Is this a bad thing? (I was going to post the "what ice cream flavor are you" quiz, but...)

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

Can tulips be far behind?

So the rodent, otherwise known as Phil, has predicted that spring will be early this year. Thank God! This freezing temperature crap needs to end, you'd think I that reside in the Northeast or something. ;P

Since Phil's handlers saw an opportunity for more camera time, they had Phil make a few more predictions:

1. Nancy Pelosi will finally realize that she has not been elected president and will stop touring the world playing the part.

2. A Philadelphia sports team will dominate and then go on to win its championship game.

3. Wyatt will smile.

4. Ssssssteve will get on a plane and it will actually take him home.

5. Global warming will be blamed for the early spring.

Love this guy's voice

I posted "Simple Man" by Shinedown not so long ago. I just love this guy's voice. This song is titled, "45." Just thought I'd share.

Some advice and stress relief

Would you believe that Play-doh is a great reliever of stress? There happened to be some on my desk yesterday (I share a room) and my pinheads were bugging me, so I reached for the Play-doh and started rolling a ball in my hands. Instant calm. When one of my students became really stressed out during class later on in the day, I gave him some Play-doh and he calmed down. Today, he was stressed again (nature of the class) and he came up to me and said, "Where's the Play-doh?" Hello, my name is RT and I am a Play-doh addict. It softens the hands, too.

I had to stop at the grocery store today...on an empty stomach. Don't do that if you can help it. Every fatty and/or salty carb lining the aisles was calling my name. I answered the call way too many times.

I think this had to be the lamest post, yet. I need a "sick" day.