My cousin, Ken

I have a cousin named Ken. He and I are a year or two apart in age and he has a wicked sense of humor. He's the guy that brought us this video (I posted it a while ago). Tonight, he emailed this cartoon to me. It is nice to know that there are at least two people in my family with my sense of humor: my cousin, Ken and his brother, Don.

Enjoy! :)

Really diggin' this song

"Life is Beautiful"
Sixx: A.M.

Jumping into the light

Evel Knievel died today. He spent many years risking his well-being, often at great harm to himelf, to make a living and a life as a "dare devil."

Knievel was "the man," coolest of the cool, when I was little. I remember watching him on Wide World of Sports, watching his "agony of defeat." What I remember the most was what an iconic figure he was. He was larger than life. My cousins had his Dare Devil set and other action figures. I also seem to remember somekind of big wheel thing or maybe even a bike with Knievel's #1. Whatever the mode of childhood transportation, my cousins tried jumps and always wanted to be Evel Knievel.

The real Knievel lived a hard and fast life and had many illnesses. He was human. Because he knew he was human, at one point in his adult life, he turned everything over to God. So, I guess you could say that today, Evel Knievel experienced his softest landing ever.

Btw., did you know that Knievel tried out for the Flyers? Wow!
(H/T: MSN)

Related Posts:

• Captain America
• Wyatt

CAPTION CONTEST!!!

Poor little girl! Create a funny caption or photoshop (email it to me). I'll post winners Monday evening.

THE WINNERS!!!!!
(Thanks to all of you for entering. I have fun reading the entries.)

5. Wyatt Earp: Hillary: "What? I just asked her to vote Democrat!"

4. Vincent Antonelli: "I'll give you nationalized healthcare, little missy! And your little dog too!"

3. Cowboy Blob: So, we played "I Got Your Nose"... I've got to take things from you for your own good.

2. Skul: I won't take ALL your savings dearie, just most of it.

And the winner of this week's contest is!!!
1. Rodney Dill: Sorry take her away, I already had one for breakfast.

OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bullwinkle Blog
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• Wizbang
• Wyatt

SCOTS WHAE' HAE

November 30 is St. Andrews Day, so I will indulge in my heritage. Enjoy the music, poetry, comedy, and spirit with which this is all expressed:

Here is a guy named Johnny Bagpipes. He does a mean Angus Young (have to watch the entire clip) and Eddie Van Halen on his pipes.

Here is Scottish comedian Billy Connolly. You've seen him on television and in movies. (Major use of the "F" word alert.)

Finally, here is Robert Burns's poem, "Scots Whae' Hae." Bascially, it was written at a time when everyone would say: "F'k you, England!" Heh.

Scots, Wha Hae.

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led,
Welcome to your gory bed
Or to victorie!

Now's the day, and now's the hour:
See the front o' battle lour,
See approach proud Edward's power -
Chains and slaverie!

Wha will be a traitor knave?
Wha will fill a coward's grave?
Wha sae base as be a slave? -
Let him turn, and flee!

Wha for Scotland's King and Law
Freedom's sword will strongly draw,
Freeman stand or freeman fa',
Let him follow me!

By oppression's woes and pains,
By your sons in servile chains,
We will drain our dearest veins
But they shall be free!

Lay the proud usurpers low!
Tyrants fall in every foe!
Liberty's in every blow!
Let us do or dee!
--Robert Burns

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIAR!!!!

Today is Fitch's birthday! Go wish him a happy one. You can find him HERE and HERE...
Here's a special birthday song I know he'll like!

Ever have a dream?

When I was a little girl (around 8 or so) I started asking (read: begging) for a guitar or a piano. That's all I wanted. I even asked Santa. Money was really, squeaky tight in my family, so it was one thing my mom couldn't give me, and I learned at a young age to never ask my dad for anything. When I was in fourth grade I played the flute as part of my school's music program (Shut up, Wyatt) and I did really well (Shut up, Wyatt!). In fact, I couldn't wait to go to that school because that meant I could take music lessons. When the school year was finished, we didn't have the money for me to continue, so that was that.

The past three years (since I got sick), I've been trying to take more risks and live a little. As a lot of you know, my job pretty much consumes my life, so I've been wanting to do something that would take my mind off of it. The past year I've hemmed and hawed about taking guitar lessons. Finally, last week, I shook off the fear of looking dumb and went to my local music store and signed up for guitar lessons.

Tonight, I had my first lesson. What a freakin' trip. First, my instructor was ripped-drunk as a skunk. It was kind of funny, because I kept f'king with his head and being a smart-ass. He gave me an hour and a half lesson, for which I will only pay a half hour's fee. They gave me a loaner guitar until I get mine. He actually did a good job, but the drunkenness kept taking him to "zen-musicianville." I know that town really well from hanging out with many drunk musicians. Well, I was usually one of the drunks, too. He finally fessed up at the end of the lesson and apologized. It's all good. If he does it again, I won't go back. However, I'll give him a second chance. I did learn some stuff and I have a week to practice. He didn't even make me pay.

There is one really cool guy that repairs guitars. He played his guitar for me and went into the "philosophy" of why a person should want to play music. I was giggling on the inside because I have had many of those conversations in the past and tonight was probably the first time I've been a part of one of those conversations sober. I was kind of wishing that he could give me lessons. He was cool, and I'm told he speaks to no one, so he must of thought I had a brain.

Good thing I have a sense of humor and understand people. And for the record I learned my nails are too long, I was born with rhythm, I need to learn to relax my left hand (but I'm skeerd of f'king up), and I have numb fingertips. Philosophy dude said to use epsom salts and water to soak my hand and that I should be sure to moisturize. Heh...gotta take care of those hands. My "teacher" promised I'd be jamming like crazy by July. Yeah, but he was drunk! HA! (Btw., philosophy guy said zen guy is never like the way he was tonight. It better NEVER happen again.)

Cheeeeeeesy!

EW.com posted the "Ultimate Cheesy-Ballad Playlist." Some of their choices are...

"Open Arms"-Journey
"Glory of Love"-Peter Cetera
"Lost in Your Eyes"-Debbie Gibson
"Weekend in New England"-Barry Manilow
"Somewhere Out There"-Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram
"Crazy for You"-Madonna
"Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman"-Bryan Adams
"Against All Odds"-Phil Collins
"You're in Love"-Wilson Phillips

And the list goes on including Richard Marx, Berlin, and Extreme.

I think I'd include (because they drive me nuts and I never EVER want to hear them again):
"Wind Beneath My Wings"-Bette Midler
"Patience"-Guns-n-Roses
"Home Sweet Home"-Motley Crue
"My Heart Will Go On"-Celine Dion

All the fiction that's fit to print

Senator Teddy Kennedy has been signed to compose his memoirs.

Hachette Book Group USA (what an ironic name), will publish Kennedy's prose. Kennedy hopes that his "reflections can contribute to a deeper understanding of many events in the history of this great country and to a more in-depth picture of an American family."

Yeah, right, Teddy. All people want to hear about is the truth and you won't write it. Memoirs are based on selected moments in a person's life as that person "experienced" them.

Why do I foresee a memory clouded by the haze that's surrounded the Senator throughout his 45 years in the Senate?

(H/T: Boston.com)

Got any ideas for the book title?

HO, HOOOOOO, HOOOOOOOOOOO!

WELL, IT COULD BE WORSE, EH?

Your Elf Name Is...

Twinkles Hot Chocolate

What's Your Elf Name?

One of my all-time favorite Christmas songs. . .

Friday, I bought two Christmas CD's: Monster Ballads XMAS and Jazz Baby, a compilation of older recordings of Christmas songs that you can find at Hallmark stores, both of which, I like for very different reasons. Listening to them made me think of some of my favorite songs. "O, Holy Night" is my favorite, by far. However, there is a song that the locals should remember: "Christmas on the Block" by Alan Mann. Unfortunately, many years ago, Alan Mann died as a result of injuries sustained because of a house fire. His song is just really simple and tells a true story. Enjoy. (The quality is not that great, turn up the volume a bit.)

Meeting the bloggers

After Deathlok and Wyatt both wrote about meeting together last night to watch BSG: Razor, I really didn't know what to say. Deathlok is a really nice guy and great host; although, he could have warned me to not blow through the toll (twice). Can't wait for that letter in the mail. Mrs. Deathlok is really nice, too, and I wish she could have joined us.

Wyatt, well, is lucky to have friends and has serious issues with my height. I did enjoy reminding him that I told him to pick Rod Brind'Amour in his hockey league and that Simone Gagne would end up hurt (note: Roddy is a machine this year and Gagne broke another nail or something). One thing you should know though, Wyatt is a really nice guy (he doesn't want anyone to know, so shhhh keep it a secret).

I had fun and enjoyed watching some hockey and BSG.

Given the ribbing nature of my hosts/friends, I clammed up a bit, so here are some questions I didn't dare ask:

1. If it is called Battlestar Galactica: Razor and a knife is shown throughout the program (because apparently you've got to be like one), why isn't it called knife? Where did a person in the future get such an old-school knife?

2. What's that smell? (Ooops, nevermind, it was Wyatt after a soda and a sammie.)

3. Do you think the XO is gay? Yes, both of them.

4. Aren't these commercials great?

And finally . . .
5. Did the Beastie Boys rip off the Cylons?

Some tidbits and the best Christmas movie ever!

Well, howdy!
At the San Diego zoo, they are promoting the procreation of pandas. When the time is right, zookeepers "make sure Gao Gao is there, sniffing her through a perforated gate zookeepers call the 'howdy door' until her chirps and bleats indicate she's ready to get down to business."

The "howdy door"? That's what I need? A howdy door? HA!

It gets better, and maybe some of you can relate: "For 363 days a year they don't want to have anything to do with each other."

Turns out there are only three days per year the "magic" can happen. I'd say "Wow!" However, I'm still stuck at "howdy door."

(H/T: Yahoo)

And in other news. . .

Can you smelllllllll what the campaign is cooking?
Mike Huckabee is being endorsed by Rick Flair! Wooooo!

First Chuck Norris supports Huckabee and now Rick Flair.

Huckabee is stoked, "We're going to have some fun throughout the campaign and I think that's what will help us to win when it's all over."

I can see it now: Disagree with Huckabee and either get a figure-four lock, body slam, or a roundhouse kick to the jaw.

Good times!

(H/T: WKRN)

And now for the best Christmas movie EVER!

HEADLINES!!!

1. Indian man marries dog to beat 'curse'
Dude, you married a bitch! How is that beating a curse?

2. A Series of Unfortunate Events...
Yep, I finally wrote a book about my life.

3. Wife Says No Beer, Hubby Replies by Shooting Pet Goats
Damn, hate to see what would happen if she said, "No sex." Oh wait, beer is more important, I guess.

4. Cops: Man Tried to Have Sex With a Fence
What? Was he so drunk, that when his friends told him to jump the fence, he thought they said to hump the fence?

5. 101-year-old Briton poses topless for calendar
She's a late bloomer.

6. Sarkozy pledges 'no retreat'...
Ok, someone check to make sure this guy is really French, because I'm not believing it.

7. Firemen told to abstain from sexual bribes
I'm sure there is a whole joke about hoses and stuff, but I am trying to be good.

8. Man seeks to unravel curse with pants and egg
What? Another man is trying to break a curse by doing something totally insane? Oh, I get it. An egg in the pants is worth two in the. . .wrong figure of speech, sorry.

9. Scent Gives Malaysian DVD Pirates Away
Pirates at sea? Scent? Pirates? No bathing? Yeah, not a hard one there, eh?

10. Teacher uses nail gun to kill raccoon for skinning lesson
Damn. Bet nobody sasses back at that teacher EVER!

It's wicked awesome!

My best friend is home from Texas for the weekend! We spent the whole morning and part of the afternoon together: shopping, laughing, talking, going to an awesome restaurant (Brio-only one in NJ and it is on my doorstep! Had the mushroom ravioli al Forno...mama mia!), gossiping about the people she'll run into tonight at her reunion...all good and all fun!

One of the best parts was her dragging me into a store that I didn't think I had shrunk enough for, yet. In June, I set a goal to shrink into that store by Christmas. While the clothes are a little tighter than what I'm used to, they fit and I'm freakin' proud of myself! In June the clothes I had pulled out of my closet "just" fit, and they are beginning to get a little loose. What I bought today "just" fits.

What makes me even happier is that I was able to walk around stores for about three hours yesterday and today with minimal amounts of time needed to sit and recover my legs. In fact, while I'm a little stiff when I stand up, I'm recovering much more quickly!

This has been the best weekend I've had in years. Think I'll go take a nap now and rest up for tonight! I'm going out! YAY! Ok, I'm hanging out with Deathlok and Wyatt (and his friend, Bill) for a geeky, fun night!

And, btw, that picture in the header? It is a picture I took a couple of blocks from my dad's house. In fact, a lot of the tree/leaf/nature-y pictures you've seen lately (sans the thistle) have been taken by me. I'm working on developing a couple of hobbies to get me out of the abode.

Time to hang the lights!

Somewhere in Wyatt's and Captain America's neighborhood. . .

The reason why humanity is suffering. . .

I'm not a mom, so I can't speak to the joys I hear are associated with parenthood. However, I do think kids are a good thing. Sure, they are expensive, cause angst as they grow up, but what if that hyper kid grew up to invent something useful and needed? Isn't his or her presence worth more than being thought of as an imposition on the eco-balance of the world?

Apparently not to Toni Vernelli. Not only did she decide to abort a baby, but she pleaded with the doctor to sterilize her. Why?

"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35. "Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population." (Daily Mail)

I'm speechless, folks. Utterly speechless. I wonder if she truly understands the difference between selflessness and selfishness?

Dinner with Daddy

Well, I managed to not make my dad ill with my cooking. I haven't cooked in three years. I was able to stand and cook for about a half an hour and I only needed to sit while I was carving the turkey (need to work on that skill). My dad was appreciative company. He really liked the food. That was nice, but what he said to me when I left was even better: "This has been the best Thanksgiving I've had in years." That meant a lot to me.

There were a lot of years that I didn't say much more than hello to my dad. I was painfully aware of it while I sat at his dining room table. I sat there thinking of all the time I'd spent in that house with my grandmom, talking, getting advice, or listening to her tell me about my family background. My dad was always kind of in and out, or nodding off in a chair. Until a few years ago, my bitterness about my childhood got in the way of me wanting to even really talk to him. Then I prayed about it. I prayed for a better relationship with my dad. It is not good to walk around with bitterness. No hurt is worth your soul.

I wish we had more family around us at dinner. I'm used to big crowds on my mom's side. Before we all split up into our little groups (because of marriages and children), we had over 30 people going to my aunt's house.

I've always wanted to be the one take my aunt's place as she got older. You know, be the one with "the house" where everyone went for family gatherings. Despite what people perceive about me, I'm really sentimental and really need to be around family. I want to be the entertainer. However, God hasn't blessed me in that area yet, and maybe it is so I can be a better daughter before I can be any good to a big crowd.

I've already decided that my dad will be spending Christmas at my apartment.

I'll be glad when my dad sells that house, but part of me thinks he won't. I think it will be too much for him, emotionally.

Also, please keep my aunt in your prayers. She isn't reacting too well to her chemo treatments. Please pray for her so that she can still have those family gatherings with her children and their families.

When it is all said and done, we need family.

Attention RT shoppers!!!!!

So, are you wondering what to do now that Black Friday has reared its head? Well, I've got some ideas.



1. TJ's Anti-Contrarian is back and Rogue is offering up some ideas for your holiday shopping that DON'T involve China (the country, not the dishes).

2. Do things that other people aren't doing and laugh at their stress! I plan on cleaning out the clutter and at the end of next week, calling "a guy" to come take it all away. When I'm done setting up for that task, I plan on going to check out my town's music shop. They have used guitars and they give lessons. I think I can swing two lessons a month. That'll have to do. See, no pressure and no stress! Woo hoo!

3. Go to a movie! There are a couple of kid-friendly movies out there this weekend...go! No kids? Well, go see a naughty movie. What? You're afraid of Santa and his naughty list? Eh, I've survived a lifetime of the naughty list.

4. Don't cook and make sure you have someone deliver the food! That way, you get to chill.

5. SHOP ONLINE! Face it, people want gadgets, DVD's, games, CD's, books, and gift cards. No need to go to a store to see things up close in most cases, so--let your mouse get a workout.

The best way to survive "Black Friday"?

Don't get caught up in the hype. Remember that Christmas is a time to celebrate Christs' birth, to be with family, and to freely express love to those you care about under the guise of cookie-induced sugar rushes. It is the love behind the gift, not the gift that counts.

Have a good day, everyone!

Caption Contest

It's Thanksgiving and that means one thing: LOTS OF TRAFFIC! Let's honor drivers of all ages and modes of transportation via this contest! Have fun, be creative, and enjoy the holiday weekend! I'll post winners sometime Monday evening.

THE WINNERS

5. Vinnie Antonelli:
Granma's hopes of getting run over by a reindeer this holiday season were mercilessly crushed, just like her scooter was by this late model Buick.

4. Rodney Dill:
They never did get past Jeff Gordon's grandmother.

3. Cowboy Blob:
Just wait until the nitrous kicks in, horn boy.

2. Skul:
Horn blows......

THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS. . .
1. Lil Bro:
Since OJ is financially strapped, his next "low speed Bronco chase" was compliments of the Las Vegas Senior Bingo League.




OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bullwinkle Blog
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• Wizbang
• Wyatt

Thankful

I am thankful for. . .

• a God who loves me and His Son that died to save me.
• a mom and dad who love me.
• that I have a job and can pay my bills.
• that I have a job that allows me to actually teach.
• that I have a roof over my head that has running water and electricity.
• that I am living in a country where I can voice my opinion, have a job, have an education, and not worry about getting harmed physically for doing so.
• those who are willing to defend my country no matter the cost.
• my friends and their love.
• that I've been blessed with a reliable car.
• that I've been blessed with good, improving health.
• that the lack of feeling, that I've had for three years (nerve damage), in my right calf is almost completely gone.
• my hurts, because it means that I have not become so cynical that I've developed a cold heart and stopped caring about others.
• my ability and capacity to love.
• the talents and gifts God has given to me.
• all the protection God granted me when I should of ended up dead, in jail, or addicted to something.
• my ever faithful kitty cats. Hey, they keep me warm at night.
• my bloggy friends; without whom, my life would be a little emptier.
• RT Tube! (ha!)

"How Could I Ask for More"
Cindy Morgan


I'm thankful for many things that I did not mention. Despite all my whining, I'm very grateful for my life and how God has blessed me. I'm also thankful for blessings that I have not yet experienced.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3:22-26 (NIV)

Have a safe, happy, and blessed Thanksgiving!

Exhibit A

You know how Wyatt rants about the Philly media? Well, here is an example of just how dumb they can be. (The guy in the clip usually presents himself as good-natured and witty on television. Imagine being in his shoes.)

This reminds me of the time a little freshman walked up to me in study hall and asked, "What does riding the baloney pony mean?" (Spelled that way for style reasons.)

Oy vey!

Goin' Commando

Heh.

When I got home today, I decided to just chill out for a while and watch a movie. As I scanned through the free movie channels, I came across an old favorite: Commando! I forgot about its cheesy goodness! The best part in my book is the "so-bad-it's-good" mall scene. I worked in the mall where this was filmed (two years later). It is the same mall where Fast Times at Ridgemont High was filmed. For the record, I worked at Orange Julius. I flipped a mean burger.

All I want for my birthday. . .

is an Aragorn salad with no dressing. Yummy!



Well, this is what happens when I am tired.

Pick a winner!

The NHL has opened up voting for the selection of all-stars. Go ahead and vote.


Speaking of winners, I've picked my caption contest winners. Go have a look-see.

Tired

Ridiculous

Have you ever wanted a vanity plate for your vehicle? Retired NYC police officer, Arno Herwerth does, but New York is telling him that his choice in plates is "obscene, lewd, lascivious, derogatory to a particular ethnic or other group or patently offensive."

His choice? "GETOSAMA."

When did it become offensive to want a terrorist, nutjob dead?

Next thing you know, New York will want to give every illegal alien a drivers' license. Oh wait.

(H/T: Fox)

I saw a plate that had "PWNED" on it a few weeks ago. That made me giggle.

R.I.P. Mr. Whipple

Mr. Whipple is no longer with us. Truth be told, his thing about the Charmin was a little OCD, eh?

Another childhood icon--gone.

Blessings

Tonight my dad called to tell me that after a nap (must run in the family) he felt the need to go outside and check on things. When he did, he found a frozen turkey, instant potatoes, Stove-Top stuffing, cranberry jelly/goo, gravy, peas, corn, sweet potatoes, and a pumpkin pie. There was a cross on it, but no note.

Wow! I'm glad someone thought of my dad. He doesn't always mention to people that he has a daughter, so maybe someone thought he'd be alone, or just wanted to reach out to my dad during the holidays. Whatever the reason, he and I are both grateful and feel blessed by this act of generosity.

My mom was going to cook dinner for me to take over to my dad's Thursday. I've never cooked a full Thanksgiving meal and she's an awesome cook, so those were the plans (she's going to my aunt's). Now, I get to cook for my dad at his house. I'm really excited. I can cook and I've watched my mom and grandmothers closely for many years. My mom's dad had a small restaurant until I was about four or five. It is in the blood.

I just wanted to share this unexpected blessing. They happen-big and small.

Oh, and yes, I have a song for you! HA!

Sunday

No song this week. I sometimes feel like a bit of a hypocrite when most of my blog is not centered on God. I'm a human, though and I have never felt it to be very productive or honest if I didn't just express myself as I am. Some days are better than others.

I've been really wordy over the past few days, so feel free to read those posts and listen to the plethora of music I've linked. I think I've gone music-happy again. It happens. I love music. There could be worse things, right? I mean, I don't think you'd read posts about my love for escarole soup or beef stew, right?

So let's see. . .the Eagles are losing, the Flyers lost last night, it is raining and cold (like rain, not frigid air), and my cats are curled up with me. Yep, it is a lazy Sunday. I did rummage through some old clothes and found some things that now fit and some things that will fit in another month or two. I hope that in June, I'll be shopping for some nice, new, much lower in size clothes.

Here are my boys in their favorite position:

APPEARANCE VS. REALITY

I was just reading an email a friend of mine sent to me. It was a grouping of pictures meant to make me smile. One picture jumped out at me. It is Arnold Schwarzenegger as a young man and as he has been seen recently.

I'm not criticizing him. In fact, I dare say even his younger photo wasn't all him. As we all know, perfection is only found in Photoshop, airbrushing, and retouching. We will all, to some degree or another, end up like the "older" picture and not the younger.

While I was at the movies, today (American Gangster--it is good and thought provoking--go see it), I looked around me. I didn't see anyone particularly model quality. I saw couples (tend to see them more when you are alone) who decided to forgo bullshit and decided that what they had to offer each other beyond looks was more important, and you know what? They were happy.

Because of my profession, I am surrounded by adolescent angst all of the time. It is easy to absorb that angst and get all caught up in the things that one gets caught up in as a teenager all over again. Often, I find myself walking around school with the same negative thoughts I had about myself when I was younger. Dumb, but it happens. So today my heart was lifted by seeing adults being adults and putting the bullshit aside.

Speaking of the bullpucky of shallowness, here's a song that addresses the vibe of "appearance versus reality." I've heard the song, "Fake It" by Seether a lot this week, so I thought I'd share. I'm sure the men-folk will like the scantily clad women and there is the use of the "F" word (fair warning). It is a good song, nonetheless.

Another song I heard today, that I really like, but had not listened to in a really long time is "Drift and Die" by Puddle of Mudd. I really like the words.

A chance to thank the troops in a really easy way!

America Supports You has created a way to text message people serving overseas.

Over the next five days, if you text 89279, you can send a holiday message to a deserving service member. I've done it several times already and received some pre-written messages back telling me who the messages reached. What a great way to start your day!

Go wish them a great day, a great holiday season, or just send a message of support.

Note: Mrs. Grim has a post about Operation Bedding. This is another way to support our troops. They can never be thanked enough.

Get down, get funky, get loose!

Do you ever find yourself up at really stupid early hours in the morning? Yeah, I did, this morning. I woke up around my normal "school" time, but it's Saturday and since I couldn't get back to sleep, I started watching an infomercial hosted by the two guys from Air Supply. (Lord help me.) They were pitching those compilation CD's that are so popular--soft rock hits.

The music on the infomercial reminded me of all the music I listened to as a little kid/pre-teen. I wasn't allowed out much at that point and so I'd hang out in my room, turn up the music (wasn't allowed to watch much television, either), practice the hair and make up thing, and eventually put on high heels, grab a hairbrush, and sing and dance around my room.

At one point they showed John Waite, so that made me go look for this John Waite song. Well, then I thought I this Baby's song.

Then, I heard my favorite Bonnie Tyler song! I love this song...and I can sing it!

So I guess you should know what I was dancing to in my room, huh? For dancing around the room when I was a youngin', I especially loved a good groove and rhythm.

However, one fateful New Year's Eve, a local D.J. on the radio played what he said he thought were bands that would be huge in the future--his predictions for the year(s) to come. I vividly remember hearing two songs, "New Years Day" by U2 (yeah, we didn't hear from them again) and one that would change my life forever. I had always listened to hard rock, even as a young child, but THIS BAND just blew me away!

Geez, I remember the days of sitting in front of MTV for hours waiting for Motley Crue and Iron Maiden .

What's up around the blogosphere?

With a bit of a twist on the "Top Five Airplanes" post that has been spreading around, DBA Dude has a a "Top Five Spaceships" list. YAY! Dr. Who! Gotta love flying phone booths!

Ambulance Driver has his own version of what went down at the Madison Senior Center. It's funny.

Dragon Lady has moved on from Halloween to Christmas in her own twisted way. Heh. (I was going to post this cartoon but didn't have the nerve.)

Fiar has started a humor blog. Go visit him and have a laugh.

Old NFO is going stir crazy in Australia. He posted a quiz to see what character of Discworld you are (sounds like a music shop to me), but I never heard of the thing. However, I ended up as a male character which is disturbing me. HA!

John D. has his Friday movie quote. Go say, "Hi!"

Peakah is BACK! That's all you need to know.

Wyatt has a meal deal for you! Not sure if it is finger licking good, though. Heh.

Deathlok has some zombies you can kill. Hmm...made me think of this song!

Go visit Von and "name that toon!"

What do I have to offer?

Driving to work for an hour. . .

Keeping my nose to the grindstone. . .

And driving home for an hour leads to very long days and way too much time on my hands to think. Way too much time.

I did get a really good fortune cookie today: "This is an extremely favorable day, just perfect for romance." Well, at least it is a favorable day.

And then I heard this song on the drive home. Cracked me the f'k up. Yes, the "F" word is an art in Jersey.
"You Never Even Call Me By My Name"
David Allan Coe

Caption Contest

Gobble-gobbble-hey! How about some fun captions for this fine-feathered strutter? Have a great weekend. I'll post winners Monday by 10:00 P.M.

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!

4. Dragonlady:
In a failed genetic experiment, scientists crossed a turkey with Tina Turner. And although it didn't produce bigger drumsticks for Thanksgiving, it did give the turkey some killer legs.

3. Von:
Once you go giblet, you never go back.

2. Wyatt Earp:
Woman: "Just look at Tina Turkey. She thinks she's cock of the walk."

And this week's winner is. . .
1. Deathlok:
Jane felt woozy and filled with a dreamy desire. Then she realized that it was just Tom's Tryptophan musk.





OTHER CONTESTS:

• Bullwinkle Blog (I got third place this week!)
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• Wizbang
• Wyatt (I got sixth place this week!)
  

I wonder if they finish with a group rub of Ben Gay?

Hope they don't throw a hip!

In Madison, Ohio a threesome got together, in public, at a senior center.

"The three seniors were not at all shy about when or where they got together and didn’t care much about who might be watching. Police got one call about a 94-year old woman 'inappropriately touching an 83-year-old man.'"

What's that? At least one woman is almost 10 years older than the guy? Dang...cougars at that age?

HA! Yeah, well, at least someone is "getting some." It's all about the nookie at that point, eh? It appears that our grandparents may have been freaks! Well, mine weren't.

I wonder what they were like when they were young?

(H/T: KHOU)

If you go to this link, the second selection, "Senior Sex Scandal" can be seen via televised report.

Why am I thinking about this at 5:00 a.m. and not getting ready for work? Ugh.

YAY! Curvaliciousness is good!

Ok, I know I am curvier than Pikes Peak , but now it is a good thing!

I am one of the blessed! The brightest! Why? My hips a bit bigger than my waist (have one somewhere). Why is that so special? It means I'm a smarty! It appears that the junk in my trunk is comprised of intelligence! Woohoo!!!!! It also means that if I ever have kids, they'll be smart, too. But, I'm not having kids, so that doesn't matter. But, my honors kid would not only pwn intellectually, but he'd also be a strong little punk. Well, he would.

COMPLETE AND UTTER RANDOMNESS

I recall stating a couple of times that my most embarrassing moment was while I was chatting up a guy that I liked, I walked into a support beam at my local mall. I happened across this picture of that mall. If you click on it and look to the right of the picture, you will see those support beams. A knock on the head for a really bad kisser sucks!




This is currently my best friend in the whole wide world. It's my favorite blue pill. It doesn't seem to be working, tonight, though. You ever have your ankles cramp? Nice...


I took this today on the way home from work. It is my favorite part of the ride. I'm surrounded by trees. I was trying to get a shot of the pretty colors, but I ended up with something much cooler, rays of light-almost warpy. Click to enlarge it and you'll see.




Ummm...so much could be said. I'll refrain. Just thought it was funny and thought provoking. HA! (click on it for a better view)





And finally, this man/whatever asks if you really want to hurt him? I think he'd really like to hurt you. Ewwww!

Time for a battle!

Which is your favorite for a night at the movies?

HOT, BUTTERED POPCORN

OR

NACHOS

THE FUNNIES!

Twelve hour day, fourteen if you count the commute. I really couldn't muster the brain cells needed to make a for real post, so I found some jokes that I think you all will find funny. Have a good one! :)

Two Muffins
So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

First Time Cussers
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Don't say I didn't warn ya!
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.

You want some headlines? I'll give ya some headlines!

1. It's official: you don't have to live in France
YAY!!!! Wow! I have been waiting for good news like that for years! That's a relief.

2. Sexy walk could be misleading message
Maybe it is because the heels are killing her feet? No? Well, then it could be a man.

3. Court orders goat thief to say sorry
Why? Because he was ba-a-a-a-a-a-d. With that, I am reminded of this. (The whole thing is worth watching, really.)

4. AC Ballet will perform 'Nutcracker'
Atlantic City has a ballet? Oh wait, they are performing the Nutcracker--must be a mob version of the ballet.

5. Bank manager gives woman loans for sex
I wonder if the quality of the sex determines the interest rate. Heh. "You suck! You must pay 11 percent interest."

Favente Deo supero

Favente Deo supero
By God's favour I conquer

Sometimes things happen and you are left scratching your head. I was back over my dad's, today. Two in-state relatives that I've never spoken to for more than conversation at funerals came to bring my dad a birthday cake. It was very nice of them (dad's aunt and cousin). My aunt lost her husband about a month or so ago. Along with her, she brought my dad two of my unlce's prized possessions, purchased in Scotland. She also brought me a kilt pin. It is really pretty. Actually, I was really moved by her gesture. I didn't do more than kind of look at it, as her kindness made me a little choked up.

As you can tell by yesterday's post, I'm feeling a little blah. I've been feeling that way for a while, but I've tried really hard to not bring it to the blog. This is where I come to garner some humor and to talk to people. I don't want to chase y'all off with my "stuff."

When I said yesterday that I've been praying for change, one of the things I pray for within all of that is for God's favor. The only way I can explain it to you is that it means I'm asking God for His grace in my journeys, my decisions, and how I'm provided for--finances and such. Things have been tough for a while and I've about reached my limit. That's what's been bothering me lately. One thing after another, over and over, one hurt followed by another.

So I pray for favor and grace.

When I got home tonight, I decided to look up the latin on the pin. God had one of those "ha" moments at my expense when I saw that it said, "By God's favour I conquer." That motto for my family name could not be more fitting, especially when I look at things from a big picture point-of-view.

A funny from the clan kilt pin crest? In the center, is a hand holding a pen. (See above, right...left is an example of a kilt pin)

Hmmm. . .

(I did find out that my dad's great-grandmother was a stage singer/actress in Scotland. So that is where I get my obnoxiousness and love for music and the arts, eh?)

Thank you.

Yo, Chavez! Shut up!!!!

Why didn't someone think of this when Chavez was visiting the United Nations (a.k.a. Useless Nutjobs)?

It appears that Chavez was on his Bush is the devil-like rant. This time, the major focus of his rant was former Spanish Prime Minister Aznar, by calling him a fascist (umm...hello Mr. Pot???). After he wouldn't give it up, Spanish King Juan Carlos, turned to Chavez and said, "Why don't you just shut up?"

I promise, if named as the ambassador to the U.N., I'll tell all annoying nitwits to shut the f'k up, Jersey style.

All of this telling people to shut up has reminded me of a song. (What doesn't, right?)


(H/T: Breitbart)

Just kind of thinking out loud.

Change is a weird thing, a good thing, and a hard thing. I don't usually experience much change that falls into the "good" category. New friends and improved health are good changes for me. I've also renewed ties with one of my cousins since my grandmother's death. For as good to me as my grandmother was, she didn't like me having much contact with my cousins. Since her death, one cousin has kept in touch with me (not that I really want to speak to the other two, but that's another story). I got a birthday card from her today, a little early, but it was the first card I ever got from her. I don't even have a clue as to when her birthday is. Then, just now, I got an email from her. It is weird for me.

My mom's side still sees me as the punk-ass kid I was when I was younger; therefore, they treat me like I have half a brain. My dad's side always lived far enough away that I never really got to know them (again, a good thing). I'm always taken back a little when people actually make an effort to be nice to me. I'm not all that used to it. I'm actually used to lots of rejection. Maybe I try to exceed bounds that are evident to them and not me? Who knows? I just know that I never seem to meet the expectations that others have for me. So for my cousin to be reaching out to me is some good change.

It was nice to get that email and that card.

I spent the day in my grandmom's house, today, and it was kind of hard. I haven't stepped foot inside the house since January. It is just too hard. My dad has given away some of the furniture, so it was weird to see my grandmom's hardly used chair and my grandpop's well-worn chair missing from their spots. My dad and I sat on the old sofa. I sat in my grandmom's spot and my dad sat in my usual spot. I felt sad. Sitting next to my dad, who will have a birthday this week, I could see his hurt about things in life. I could feel his pain when he said that sometimes when he sits there he can still feel that my grandmom is there. He talked about selling the house and moving to Maryland. Sometimes, I want to say, "What about me?" However, I have learned in life that you can't control or manipulate people. To truly love them and to have them know you love them is to just let them be who it is that makes them happy to be. After all, you're not the one living in their skin. However, part of me feels like I have to protect my dad. But, part of me also feels and knows that if he's happier someplace else, well, then he needs to be someplace else.

Funny thing is, I keep praying for change in my life. This isn't what I meant, though.

Thought it only happened in the movies. . .

Have you ever seen someone that you wished you had spoken to, only to feel like you allowed something special slip by you?

Some guy on a NYC subway did, and he found her. There's a related video at the top left of the article. This website also goes with the story.

Must be nice.

Is it that hard?

I'm not always the most graceful person. However, before I became my current size, I was fairly good at sports, dancing, and general acrobatics. That said, I'm finding some humor in the fact that these guys can't do jumping jacks. It reminds of when my mom took me to sign up for kindergarten (yes, I remember). One of the things they had us do involved skipping across the room. There were a couple of kids that couldn't do it. I guess they were trying to identify developmental delays.

So I feel guilty thinking this is funny, but if I had been the guy leading PT that morning, I would have busted a gut. That's why he is the professional and I am not.

A festival of fun!

Ok. I feel like crap, today. The convention I wanted to go to that I plunked down an nonrefundable Benny for...couldn't go. So, I'm p.o.'d on top of it. Seriously.

What better way to get me out of the funk than to try to find some fun to put a lost day, that was supposed to be really productive, out of my head.

These will make you say WTF?!?!?
Every once in a while I come across stuff online that just makes me say, WTF?!?! I have a feeling you might have similar reactions to the following three tidbits:

• This guy has taken a true classic and made it a bit of a break-up (more like breakdown) song. Watch the reaction of the producer/engineer when the guy begins to "sing."

• It is not often we get to see actor, Mickey Rourke up close and personal. Not that we want to, but this is a warning about plastic surgery. You know, I never did get all the hype about 9 1/2 Weeks.

• A teen gets a spanking he didn't deserve.

********

While this is not a WTF!?!?!, it is a funny educational video via The Poor Farm (Jeffro).

*******
And finally, I heard "Tempted" by the band Squeeze the other day. I always liked hearing their music when it came on the radio. While, today, I have an appreciation for music of all kinds, that was not the case as a young metal-head. However, there were bands that I liked that transcended my desire to bang my head. Squeeze was one of them. Enjoy.

Books

I just read a book in about a half an hour. Really, it wasn't a child's book telling me to rhyme or teaching me that some people have two mommies or daddies and it's not because of divorce.

I read a book about writing. One day, when I have more than ten-minute spurts to write, I want to craft witty, yet well-written prose. Someday. Until then, I will study Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing.

I think I'll also go back and buy a book or two of his to read. I really enjoyed the style of writing contained within his rules (and the rules themselves).

I started a book yesterday during my lengthy pedicure: The Life of Pi. I like the use of language. When I finish, I'll let you all know how it turned out. In fact, I should be doing work. I'll get to it later; perhaps, I should just read.