There's no crying in climate-change!

This makes me want to turn in my Dutch-Afrikaan membership card--well, the Dutch part.



Yvo de Boer (heh...what a bore), a Dutch diplomat in charge of talks on lowering greenhouse emissions, broke down in what was described as a "flood of tears" after warning "that failure to reach an agreement on global warming could 'plunge the world into conflict.' "

I know whenever I'm trying to convince people of something I feel is very important that crying always works. /snark

One question, though, could Boer have actually been weeping over his hideous fashion sense? What the heck is up with that shirt?

I think he was just flustered because he realized his choice in attire reveals that he is a retired 80-year-old woman trapped in a man's body. He was just wishing he was in Miami playing Bingo or something.


(H/T: Daily Mail)

PSA #2

Guys, this is just my little way of trying to help you avoid the same fate as these men.

A poem

Dear God
So far today I have done all right.
I haven't gossiped.
I haven't lost my temper.
I haven't been greedy, grumpy,
nasty, selfish or overindulgent.

I am very thankful for that!

But in a few minutes, Lord,
I am going to get out of this bed,
And from then on,
I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

Author Unknown

Thank God that he takes us as we are, warts and all, and understands our shortcomings. Comforting thought.

Dude.

Thought this was funny. Thought I'd share. Hope you get a giggle.

Dont Taze Me Bro - Watch more free videos

Not in love anymore!

The past few months I have been toying with no longer being in love.

It is very painful when the one you have loved for so long has broken your heart, chipping away at it like an ice pick.

So, with a broken heart, I am officially announcing that I no longer love Rod Brind'Amour. A couple of Flyers vs. Hurricanes games ago he put a cheap shot on one of the Flyers. I was a little miffed, but hey, I figured it was the heat of the moment and I forgave him.

Tonight, Brind'Amour did something unforgivable. For once, he didn't choke at a crucial moment in a game and he scored a freaky shoot-out goal to beat the Flyers 6-5.

I think I need to go eat a pint of ice cream to get over this. I've loved the man for close to 16 years.

I hate shoot outs! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

The Gambler

I watched a really interesting epidsode of Beyond the Glory today about poker legend, Doyle Brunson.

I really don't know much about poker. I learned to play it on an Amtrak train from Los Angeles to Philly thanks to some fellow passengers killing just about the same amount of time. However, I didn't know anyone who played, so I lost the "how to's" of it shortly thereafter.

Watching this documentary didn't require a PhD in poker, though. It was an interesting glimpse into the life of Brunson, a poor kid from Texas that turned the "lemons" of a freak injury, that caused the end to his NBA dream, into the "lemonade" of becoming a poker legend.

He even wrote a book about his strategies. According to the show, he charged $100 for each book and sold 300,000 of them at the time. Smart, smart man--at the game and at life; both of which, at times, is one big gamble.

Brunson just seems like the type to look a challenge and grave disappointment in the eye and find a way around it. I admire that in people and I guess that's why the show caught my attention.

**Also given some attention in this documentary was poker player, Barry Greenstein, who donates a lot of his earnings to help children in need.

Witty writer, Wyatt

Our buddy, Wyatt has been offered a great opportunity to write for Family Security Matters as the site's official satirist.

Go share in Wyatt's happy news by stopping by his blog to congratulate him and then by going to Family Security Matters to read his first article.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

A BIT O'SPAM

I thought I'd follow-up my Louisville Slugger caption contest. . .oh, wait, that's not what Captain Kirk is holding. Dang. Anyway, I thought I'd continue my downward spiral into base humor with a sampling of spam from my spam folder. The subject of the spam is the usual: trying to give me advice that I don't need.

An anonymous source decided to advise me that "if she won't suck your twinky, she'll suck a sausage when you add the inches." Now, I know I don't have any Twinkies or sausage in the apartment. I don't think I'd want anyone sucking either of them, too. I mean I'd like to eat them at some point. The source was right about one thing, though, you eat enough twinkies and sausages, you will gain inches--around your waist.

Heath asks, "What is the best way to enlarge penis?" O.k. Heath, I know you are a guy and given your first name, I'm assuming you are all "Brokeback" and should know such things. I'd tell you how, but a girl has to have her secrets.

Then Batista tells me that my "new, big penis is only 5-6 months away." See, Batista, therein lies the rub. I don't use what I have. What in the world would I do with a new. big penis in 5-6 months?

Some guy named Nam was really forward in his email: "Check out my big schlong." No. That is ok, but thanks for offering. (If I had a nickel for every time I've--never mind.)

However, another guy named, Yan lamented, "My wife complains about my small cock ALL THE TIME!" Well, I'm sorry Yan. I really can't help you in that area; however, if you send your wife to that guy, Nam, she might stop complaining. One question, though. How could some guy help her out with a miniature rooster?

Now, I realize that most of the emails I've shared with you so far have been quite bold in their assertions. However, I did receive a rather personal question, though, from some guy named Mori. He asked, "Does she have to wait forever to get some real sex?" I don't know who "she" is (people have names ya know), but I can honestly say it feels like forever.

And then finally, I got this command from Derrtdni: "Impress the girls with your new enlarged whopper!" What? Are girls the only ones that eat whoppers? I like double whoppers with cheese. I haven't had one in years, but they are usually pretty big in size--very impressive and filling. I like to chase them by slurping up a coke. Yes, with a smile!

Caption Contest!!!

How do I follow a post that discusses the Bible? With Captain Kirk and his. . . Well, you decide.

Have fun (oh, brother), and I will announce winners some time Monday evening. Have a great weekend!

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!

5. Mrs Grim: Kirk stood guard holding the giant stone artifact, curious as to why Ohura was going back to the ship for a bottle of KY Warming lube.

4. John D.: Don't worry, it's only set to stun.

3. Rodney Dill: "If this episode lasts more than four hours I'll need to seek medical attention."

2. Wyatt Earp: This must be what Kirk calls his "Captain's Log."

And this week's winner is. . .

1. Vincent Antonelli:
Kirk, as official emmisary of Planet Earth, didn't like the diplomatic protocols that required him to accept this "piece offering" from the leaders of Planet Lesbos. He decided on return to the Enterprise he would re-gift it to Ohura from her "Secret Santa".

OTHER CONTESTS YOU SHOULD BE SURE TO VISIT:

• Bullwinkle Blog (I got SECOND place last week!)
• Cowboy Blob
• Gone Rick Motel (I WON LAST WEEK!!!)
• Right Pundits
• Rodney Dill
• Wyatt

Get me my pulpit! RAAAAR!

(A caveat: I have not decided who I am supporting in the Presidential election. I honestly have no real leanings at this point. This is a matter of my faith.)

Huckabee must be putting a scare into those who are not supporting him. He's got people pulling the "intolerant, backward Evangelical" card.

It appears that his support of women submitting to their husbands is something that should be seen as a hindrance to his ability to serve as President should he be elected.

Why is this such a hot topic? Because people misread the instruction given in the passage from which this one phrase is lifted. Ignorant folk see "a wife is to submit graciously to her husband" and automatically think: "ME MAN; YOU WOMAN; GRRRR!"

THAT ISN'T WHAT IT MEANS! Yes, it means to submit to your husband's wishes. But, that doesn't mean you don't have a voice in family decisions, can't have a career, can't have your own hobbies and friends. It doesn't mean that you can't state your concerns, needs, and hurts. It means that what he thinks is best for the household goes, but not without him being responsible for his end of the relationship (we'll get to that when I'm done talking about the woman's role). You are supportive of the decisions and you are there for the outcome: good or bad. Do men make stupid decisions? Yup. Do women? Yup. That's what forgiveness and going forward after learning a lesson from poor choices means. If the best of intentions were there, you can't fault someone. It's life. Crap happens.

If you marry an overbearing thug, that is because you chose to marry him. There are plenty of them not reading the Bible and plenty of them who do. I've known guys that misinterpret the passage and I wouldn't spend two hours with them let alone the rest of my life.

Except for the phrase that bothers so many, there are 10-11 verses completely ignored.

The guy has way more responsibility. He has a "fiduciary duty" to care for his wife (and family) as God cares for us. WOW! That's pressure. If you really believe in God and His power and care, and then see His relationship with us as a model for how you are to treat your wife and family, wouldn't that mean that the guy shouldn't be the intolerant, overbearing Neanderthal that people who do not understand (and those that choose not to) the passage make Christian men out to be?

You have no idea how much the improper reading of the Bible angers me. Not only is it a study in pure ignorance, but also a slap in the face of my faith. You can't read the Bible and just leave out stuff so that your view makes sense. You have to read it in its context, fully, without adding to it or taking away from it.

Here is the complete passage of Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV):

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Hmm...if read closely, you can see that the respect and love is a two way street and seen as an active form of worship and obedience to God.

1. Christian men need to stop misreading this passage.
2. People who want to paint Christians in a particular light need to stop misreading this passage.
3. Submissive does not mean doormat, uneducated, and not able to have gainful and productive lives. It means doing what's best for your family unit. Forget the haters and realize you married someone for a reason and that relationship and pleasing God through it are more important than what anybody outside of that relationship thinks.

When you are with someone, it is not all about "you," it is about the family unit, whether it be two or twelve.

(H/T: CNN.com)

Ok, so I've got nuttin'.

I should really be asleep, recharging for another day with my "angels." (Oh, were they bastards for the sub...they will pay.) However, I've only just taken my Tylenol PM, so it will take a 1/2 an hour to kick in and knock me into dreamland. I tried looking for something to post, but actually writing something of substance would take effort and brain cells, both of which I am sorely lacking right now.

After much thought, I realized how nice it would be to relive the Flyers' victory over the Penguins. It was a fun game to watch (well, after the Pens scored to quick goals).

First, the highlights:


Next, the reason most of us watch about 85 percent of the time (I watch just watch a lot of the time, even if the Flyers aren't playing.):


Now for some news. Guess who is pregnant!! NO. NOT ME! (That would take a mighty big act of God. Mary and Elizabeth-like.) I just thought my male readers would like to see the object of their affections is now with child.

My lesson

Alright, so I spent the last four days in bed doing nothing and going nowhere. Did I practice my guitar? No. Did I practice for 2 1/2 hours before I went to my lesson tonight? YUP! Could almost do my whole notes backwards. Ok. Probably not earthmoving for you, but I'm proud of myself.

Tonight, my usual teacher was busy with another client (and tipsy), so I got a lesson from the other guy (owner). When he wasn't playing along with me, he was nursing a bottle of what appeared to be Gray Goose. Back in the day, I used to polish off a lot of vodka and even drank an entire bottle one night (didn't even hurl). But wow, if I tried to do that now? Y'all would visiting me in the hospital. Dude's got liver-muscles.

I enjoy my time at my local music shop. They are characters, but they are musicians that actively play and if you show real interest, they like ya. So, what did I learn tonight? I learned how to position my left hand so that I can press straight down in the strings, how to do an e-chord, c-chord, d-chord, strumming at different tempos, and how to position my strumming hand so that I don't have to rely on sight for strumming.

I think they get a kick out me because I give them crap for their musician tendencies (read: drinking and goodness knows what else) and I'm a smart ass. That's actually the one thing I miss about being around musicians--the fun of being around creative people who think in a bazillion different ways.

When we did the chords, we played "name that tune." I tried to think of songs I could place with the chords. I have a really sick ability to hear one strum or a note of something and know the song (not every song in the world, of course). Where's Name that Tune when I need it? HUH? (I'd probably club Kathy Lee, though.)

A MEME-Voluntary, of course

This is a really easy meme. Search Google images for the following items:

(H/T: SoHos)

Age you will be on next birthday

Place you'd like to travel--Scotland, where else?

Favorite Place-anywhere with mountains and lakes.

Favorite Objects

Favorite Food-Yummy, fried chicken and mashed potatoes!

Favorite Colors--red and black.

Nickname-Don't really have one, but I had a teacher that called me "Sleepy."

Place where you were born--not in NJ, but in Philadelphia.

Trying for some Christmas cheer

Hey! How about some cat blogging and some cat/other creatures blogging? Sure to make you smile. Really.

I wonder if this guy was flushed with fear?

I think this might be an endorsement for purchasing a cell phone and chucking the bachelor life.

David Leggat, the guy in charge of the wine at his bowling club, got stuck in the bathroom for four days (door knob broke).

It was a tale of survival:

"I had nothing with me to eat so I sipped cold tap water to keep me going.

"I did a survival course once and knew I had to keep my feet warm, so I kept running a basin of hot water and putting my feet in to send the heat through my body."

Mr. Leggat had a sense of humor about it:

"At least there was a toilet to use. The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar."

A few things stand out to me about this story.
1. It's funny.
2. I realize the guy is single, as it states in the story, but did no one miss the poor guy for four days? That's a freakin' shame. I hope if I ever go missing for four days that someone misses me (who am I kidding).
3. Bathrooms have great acoustics; I wonder if he sang to entertain himself. Who am I kidding? He is a retired English teacher--he probably spouted lines of poetry and Shakespeare.

(H/T: Sky News and The Telegraph)

Weird Dreams

I have some kind of virus. I can't eat. However, I can sleep like a bear in hibernation. With that sleep comes dreams, weird dreams. Since I have nothing to post, I thought I'd share one of those weird dreams.

I had a dream last night that I rented a home for the summer, on the beach, in South Carolina. Now, I turn red as a lobster when I'm out in the sun and I'm not one for beaches (prefer mountains and lakes). Also, I couldn't imagine renting a house, on a beach, for an entire summer. As much as I love staring at the ocean, I'd get bored. Oh yeah, the dream.

So, I pull up to this house and it is a mansion! WOW! How did I swing that one? Next to it is a very normal house (this will be important later). Instead of a narrative, I think I'll just list things. (See first sentence--so not feeling well.)

1. It rained a lot. Thus, I went shopping at Bambergers (now Macy's). Apparently in this dream, Bambergers was all the rage in South Carolina and they had my size (although in my dreams, I'm always skinny and blonde--scratches head).

2. The house next door? Well, it turns out that a guy I once, ummm...no details needed, lived next door with his girlfriend (he's married now) and his daughter. *Wonders to self, is this dream about past mistakes? Huge mistakes?

3. In the dream I decide to have a high school reunion--a sleepover reunion. Well, it is a mansion. Two things you need to know: I quit high school my senior year (long story) and I was the outcast. If I ever have a huge house party, they won't be invited. In my dream, I remember being on a constant hunt for a bottle of champagne from which to drink. I used to be a lush. That was normal behavior for me. Accidentally hit someone in the head with an empty bottle trying to drink from it--good times.

4. So, back to the guy: In my dream he kept coming over to offer his help with cleaning up after the guests, offering to run errands for me, and just wanting to hang out. Weird. He offered other stuff, but I wasn't buying. Bought his snake oil once, won't buy it again.

5. My mom did come to visit for a weekend and she was driving a silver sports car. Yep, she went shopping at Bambergers.

I wonder what all of this meant. I also wonder where I got all the money for this trip. ;P''''

Hey, what do y'all want for free?

Funny and Good

THE FUNNY:
A certain Rangers fan (that shall remain nameless--Wyatt) sent a clip to me.

What smells of old cheese, bad rhythm, and gayness? THE NEW YORK RANGERS! What's worse than the Flyers in their long pants? Phil Esposito dancing in a Sasson jeans commercial. I wonder how many drinks they had in them to do this? Ooooo, la la!

THE GOOD:
While I listen to some loud, obnoxious music, lately, I've been developing an ear for music that calms me and lyrics that I like--that seem more poetic than "the world sucks."

This is a clip of Kelly Joe Phelps's song, "Crow's Nest." I was going to go see him play this past weekend, but I'm a chickensh*t who needs to learn to go places by herself. Here are the lyrics, too, if you're interested.

If you would like to know who won the caption contest this week, click HERE.

Public Service Announcement

Because I care guys; because I care.

The only issues I have are that a high school girl was present for this demonstration and that the guy is wearing black socks. What is with men and black socks? I understand if the guy is wearing a suit, though. (That goes hand in hand with my "love" scene gripes: Why are the women completely nekkid and the men still have on their socks? Huh?)

On a totally unrelated note, whoever invented saltless pretzels SUCKS moose pucky! I don't feel well and I want to suck the salt off the pretzels while I eat them, dangit! Heartless bastard.

Remember when?

Remember when the majority of Americans felt this way?
(H/T: Drudge)

Jeffro update

Jeffro has taken the time to provide an update on his surgery and post-operative condition.

He really needs our prayers, but he could also probably use a few hellos, too.